Raised to fight, born to die
by theycallmemoriah
Summary: This is about the tributes of District 2, the place where you are born to die. So it's about Clove and Cato, who are in the 74'th Hunger Games. How did they meet eachother? Are they really star-crossed lovers? Will they win or die? - to figure out, you'll have to read this :). Have fun, and may the odds be ever in your favor ( Beginning is bad, hold on, the rest is better ;) )
1. School

I sat at a wooden chair in the class , looking at the clock..

_why is this day during so long? Usual my day goes like; getting up, eat breakfast, go to school, train, eat dinner, and go to bed. But this one seems endless, maybe something is going to happen_?_ I look out of the window and see a group boys standing in the hall, i don't recognize them except Cato, everyone knows Cato.. some not in a very positive way, they run if he only looks at them. _

I was smiling by the idea of kids running away because they're afraid, but not for long.

'Clove Kentwell!' My teacher yells to me ' Keep your mind on the lesson, not at those boys out there.'

I didn't reply and looked back at the clock.

'CLOVE! Go out of my lesson!' he screams at me.

I hate when people scream at me, but I just roll my eyes, stand up, get my bag and walk towards the door.

I see the boys still standing there. _'Oh no..'_ i think. _'Now i have to stand there WITH them, don't look scared Clove, you are not scared of some stupid guys'. _

I open the door quickly, and walk out of the class, on my way to my locker.

'Hey, did you got send out?' I hear a voice behind me.

I turn around to see who it was, a guy from that group, Cato stands next to him smiling at me.

'Yeah' I mumble back. I can see at his face that it dissapointed him that I gave such a simple answer.

'Why?' he asks.

'None of your business' I tell him, and walk away.

I open my locker and throw my books in it, slam it so it's closed, and go to the bathroom. Probably the only place I can be alone.

I don't like people, once i attacked a girl, Noa was her name. She annoyed me too much, so i almost stabbed her with my knife. I hate school, I hate people, I hate this f*cking life.

There is only one thing I want right now, training. I can put all my hate in that, and just fight it all away, but training starts at 4 pm, and it's still 1pm.

_ 'I'm so done with this.' _I think '_ I'm just going to walk away from school, nobody is stopping me'. _

I go to my locker again, grab my jacket and walk out of the school.

I hear footsteps behind me, but i don't look.

Maybe it's another teacher or something, and i don't want them to regonise me.

I walk through the streets of District 2, some houses look awful, are there really people who live in that thing?

I hear something running behind me, I grab my knife and turn around, ready to attack.

' Hey hey, calm down, it's just me' Cato says.

I stop walking as I realise that I almost stabbed Cato, and no one gets out alive doing that.

'So ?' I reply.

' You better can't do that, remember that kid? Huh?' he grins.

I think of that boy, who thought he was better than Cato, and tried to kill him. One day later that kid was the one in the hospital.

'Hmm okay' I say to Cato, and put the knife back in my bag.

I continue walking, Cato walks next to me.

_'Why is he walking with me? Why would he even walk with me? Why is the Cato Hadley walking with me? I have to admit, he is the strongest person at training/school, and many people fear him. But I don't, i'm not scared of anyone.' _I think.

I almost walk in the wrong street, 'I have to go' I say.

'Okay' Cato replies. I walk in my house, with one last look at him.

I see Cato smiling, then I turn around and see my dad.

'Who is that?' He says angerly.


	2. Clove's house

' That? Oh, that is Cato.' I told my dad. 'Yes, i see that, but why was he with you?' my dad replied. 'i don't know.' I said

' You do know that !' he raised his voice. 'No i don't' i tell him, and roll my eyes. ' You do, now tell me?!' he says.

I look him straight in the eye 'I. Don't. Know. Okay.' 'Well if you don't know, you don't have a reason to be with him again, i don't want to see that guy ever again do you understand?'

I can start an argument now, but i won't win, even if i'm right, he always thinks he is right. 'Why?' i ask.

'It's no use, if i'm ever going to see him again, you'll be in big trouble' He says to me. 'You don't have the right to tell me what to do'

I mumble back. He wanted to hit me, but i was quicker than him, and walked off to my room.

I let myself fall on the bed and grab a pillow and bury my face in it.

_Why is it such a matter? Cato is only a guy from my school, nothing more? By the way, my 'dad' couldn't tell me what to do, he isn't my real dad. My parents died while they were helping to build a house or something, When it collapsed they were under all the stones, and died. But i couldn't live here alone with my little sister, the peacekeepers would get us away, so thats why Alex came to 'care' of us, but i always had to do everything alone. I don't remember how he came here, but that doesn't matter, he's here and i hate him._

I look at the clock and see it's almost 3 pm, school is over now, finally weekend. My little sister, sh*t i should have taken her from school.

I don't want to go downstairs, Alex is there, and he's mad.

I decide to open up the window, and let myself fall. I rub my ankle it hurts, '_why was i jumping through a window'_, i think. It doesn't matter anymore, i am on the ground and free to go. I get up and hobble to school.

I see Alyssa standing in front of the school, she comes running to me.

I open up my arms and hug her. 'Why were you so late?' she asks me. I knew i couldn't hide things from her, she always finds out later. So I decide to tell her something, Alyssa can't know that i had a argument with Alex, she still thinks that he is her real dad. 'I walked away from school, went to home, and then i forgot the time' I tell her, while we walk back to home. 'I jumped out of the window, and injured myself.. thats why' i add a laugh at it.

But she don't think it's funny at all. 'Why did you jump out of the window?' Alyssa asks me.

' It was a shorter way to get downstairs.' I say sarcastically. She laughs a little, and we walk towards home.

' _I escaped my house, but now I have to go through the door, and see Alex again.' _I think _'I'm sure he will continue the argument, but i can't let that happen when Alyssa is there, she doesn't have to know that, it's my problem and not hers'_ I see my house in the distance, I have to think fast.

'Why won't you come up my faster way to my room?' i ask Alyssa.

She jumps happily 'Really ?'

'Yeah why not?'

I see her cheering, and take that as a yes. As we're at the house, i explain her how we get up there.

We climb up in the tree close to my room, via a branch of the tree we climb up the roof, and jump through the window. '_Why did i leave my window wide open?'. _We stand up in my room and go sit on my bed.

' I have to go to training' i tell her 'don't tell daddy about our way, it's topsecret' I wink at her, she just nods back and walks out of my room.

I open up my closet and look for training clothes, it's pretty warm today so i think we'll train outside. I grab a red t-shirt and black sweatpants and put them on. I take a deep breath and walk downstairs, i want to leave this house as quickly as i can.

' Bye dad, bye Alyssa' i say, and close the door.

I could hear my dad mumble 'training start in a hour right? Why is she already leaving'. But I know it was sarcasm, he doesn't care about me at all, i don't care about him eighter.

I stumble. _'f*ck my ankle' _i think and look around. _'did anyone see that?'. _I don't think anyone did, so i just tie my boots and walk off again.


	3. Training

I walk slowly through the streets in my neighborhood, when i'm close to my school i walk faster, but it had no use.

' Clove Kentwell? Is that you?' I hear behind me, it was a male's voice, he called my whole name, so that means i'm in trouble i think, i don't want to look but I can't ignore people forever.

I turn around and see who it is, the director of the school.

He steps towards me and says quietly 'Why weren't you in classes today?'

'I got send out' i reply.

'Yeah but you had to come to my office, you know that, it's in the rules of this school.'

I just nodd back ' i have to go.'

'You don't go anywhere' he says.

_Why is everyone telling me what to do, don't they have their own life? I'm not letting myself be judged by anyone who wants to. I hate people, I hate school, I hate everyone at this school, i don't like my neighborhood, and my 'dad', he's the worst of all. If there was a simple way to escape from all this, i would go. But i can't, my sis' needs me. I can't leave her alone with Alex._

'Who are you to tell me what to do?' i ask him. 'Well.. i am the principal of you school, young lady' he says with a fake smile ' and you, you are in big trouble'.

He grabs my arm, and takes me to his office. I don't want to go, but not walking with him is not going to help me. Things are getting worse.

He opens the door, and we walk into the room. He loose my arm and I sit down on a chair in front of his desk.

I look around. It was a small room, with many windows to let the room look wider. I take a deep breath, the typical office-smell. I have not been here many times, but i recognize the smell.

He sits down on the chair on the other side of the desk. 'So tell me, why did you walk away from school?' he asks.

'oh, do you really want to know that?' i say quietly.

'Yes' he answers. 'Because i don't f*cking like your school' i put on a fake smile 'maybe you all should rot in hell, listen up here, . ' I walk to the door, and open it. 'Have a good f*cking day, mister the principal.

I walk as fast as I can out of the school.

I hated this school since i was a kid, and then i'm not even talking about the people here. I run down the stairs, and breathe in the fresh air outside. I see Noa standing there, she is a girl from my class.

'Hey clover' she says arrogantly.

'Hey Noa' i reply. She is the most annoying girl in this whole f*cking school.

'So, what are you doing here? In trouble again? Poor you..' she says.

I try to hide my anger 'Not at all, what about you? Still waiting for your boyfriend to come pick you up?'

'I have a boyfriend, too sad that you don't have one, i think you'll die alone' she nodds.

'I don't need a f*cking boyfriend to live my life, obviously you can't even walk without him'.

She doesn't know an answer at that sentence. 'I hope you are going to volunteer in the games this year, I can't wait to see you die!' she says with a smile on her face.

That was the point, i am so done with that b*tch. I grab my knife and throw it straight to her head. She ducks, but a second too late, she was bleeding. That wound won't kill her, i'm sure about that.

'Well, have fun waiting for you boyfriend to save you' i say, and walk off.

At that moment I realise i was going to be late for training, what time is it? I run through the streets.

'_That stupid principal dude kept me away from training, he is going to pay for that, I need to train, when i'm 18 i have to volunteer, then the peacekeepers can't take me away from my victorsvillage, because i don't have parents anymore. Only 3 years left'_ i think.

I arrive at the training centre, and run into the dressing room. I see more girls sitting there, and greet them.

So I wasn't that late. I sit down and wait for the instructor.

Hanna, our instructor comes into the room 'Girls, are you coming?'

We stand up and walk towards the trainingroom. It was a big room, with many sections, each one with a different weapon. I walk straight to the knife-throwing section.

I grab some knifes i like and climb up the platform. In front of me there are some dummies, these are my targets. I hold tight on the 2 knifes in my right hand, and one in my left hand. I throw one knife at the dummy, i spin around and throw the other one with a backhand-throw. I close my eyes and throw the third one. When i open my eyes i see that all the 3 knifes are perfectly in the heart of the dummies.

My instructor looks at me, she applauds 'Good job clove.' She cheers. The other people in the room are looking, but i don't talk.

I just walk to the climbing section. There are some high-platforms, a fake tree and a climbing wall. I decide to do the tree. I use my knifes as pickaxes to lift myself up. Half a minute later i sit alone in the tree. I take a look at all those kids training.

''_Is __**that**__ the future of district 2? They are so small, and can't do anything.''_ I think as i look at the young 'tributes'.

In this training club we are selected on age and on how good you are.

Group 1 is the kids from 12 to 14 year who are useless.

Group 2 is 13 to 16 year, so medium.

And then the upcoming volunteers, group 3, 16 to 18 years old. They are good, some better then others. Maybe i'm too young, or too small, but since a while i'm in group 3 too, because of my knife-throwing skills.

I look at my group _' Pff Noa, i always hated her, since i have known her i wanted to attack her, sadly enough that moment has never came, maybe is today a good time to do stab her 'oh so pretty' face'' _I let myself fall from the tree and land on my feet.

I walk up to Noa, she may be bigger than me, but i'm quicker and i have my knifes. ' Remember me?'' I say to her.

I wanted revenge. ' Sadly enough, i do remember your f*cked up face' she replies.

'Says the girl with a scar on her face' I laugh.

When i look around, I notice that Cato and some other guys are looking at us.

Noa finally replies '' Oh, i fell down.''

' You didn't, I like your lying act by the way, but ehm when is the truth coming?'' i ask her. ' If you feel so highclass, come and fight?'' and i walk off to the Fight-section.


	4. Fight

Suprisingly Noa follows me, she really wants to fight. Fine by me, i am going to win.

I take a last look at the training room searching for trainers, there are none. They would take us two apart, and I don't want that, if i start a fight i finish a fight.

Noa's mouth is forming words, but there comes no sound. I decide to make the first move and tackle her. She falls on the ground, i sit on her and try to stab her stupid face, but she moves it. Did i just.. missed it?

I **never **miss a target, never! Except when i want to hurt my victim, then i half hit it. But i missed this one. HOW?!

She grabs my hair and tries to tackle me down, but i am quicker and figure out how to escape from her grip. I set my foot on her hand and move my knife to her throat.

I could finish her off right now. As i tighten my grip on the knife, ready to kill her. Someone pull me off her, Peacekeepers.

I didn't know what to do, it's ' illegal' to kill someone, but she's still alive right?

The Peacekeepers had the right to kill me right now. So I decide to do the weakest thing i've ever done, run. Run to the tree, and climb in it. I look at them, the trainers, Cato and Noa still f*cking crying on the ground.

'' _If there was an easy way to escape from this all, i would go .'' _ I remember.

The peacekeepers would kill me. Am i gone if they kill me? I'm pretty sure i would. Without thinking i jump off the branch, and fall down on the ground. ' Wanted to kill me? '' I say to the Peacekeepers. Then i remind myself that i have to stay alive, for Alyssa.

The Peacekeepers have knifes too. Well they can't kill me with my specialty.. i guess.. I still lay down on the ground as the Peacekeepers walk to me, they grab their swords. '_How much weapons do they have..'' _I think.

I see a knife flying towards my head, but i am able to dodge. They really want to kill me i guess.

'' _Clove, focus, you have to stay alive. You don't want to die and you can't die! '' _i say to myself. One of the peacekeepers swung a sword, but it didn't hit me again. He tries again and i crawl back. I bump my head against a wall, and knew immediately there was no way out of this position.

I see the reflection of the light on his sword, the Peacekeeper swung it to me, but Cato pushes him away. He fell down.

'You are not going to kill her, you don't have the right to' Cato says ' She didn't kill that girl.'.

The Peacekeeper nods. Cato helps me stand up, this time i don't ignore someones help. Without thinking i hug him. He hugs me back and for the first time in my life i felt save.

Sorry short chapter.


	5. The Practice Games

I close my eyes, i don't want to pull back from him, but i think it's going to be awkward if i don't. So i set a step back.

'Okay that's enough hugging time' Hanna says.

Our male instructor Marcus agrees with her.

I look around and see that all children at the training were looking at my fight with Noa, and the Peacekeepers.

'Everyone back to your group' Marcus commands. 'it's time for our games! We are going to play a simulation to the Hunger Games in the Indoor Practice Arena, Hanna and I are going to part your group into 2 teams, and you are going to stand up the round platforms, does everyone understands?''

'Yeah' everyone says, except me, ofcourse i understood him. But i don't like to talk really much. Too bad that Marcus notices that i wasn't replying.

'You too Clove?' he says quietly, but loud enough for everyone to hear. 'Yeah' i respond. 'Okay good, so everyone go to your group, and wait for Hanna and me to come !' He shouts

I walk to Group 3, Noa is in group 3 too. I can't wait to 'kill' her, well if she isn't in my team.

Hanna parts us into 2 groups.

I barely recognize anyone at my team.

I walk up to Lisa, she's the only girl i do know. She was pretty much like me, she doesn't have really much friends and doesn't like to talk much too.

But she is actually dangerous, because everyone underestimates her, same with me.

'What weapon are you going to pick' Lisa asks me.

'Knifes ofcourse, what about you?' i answer.

'Bow and arrow.' She responds.

'Okay nice..' i add a little smile. Personally i hated bow and arrow, i wasn't good at it too. But Lisa is awesome with a bow, she can use it with and without arrows, what actually is pretty weird.

Team one, in which i am gets red shirts, team two yellow ones. It is great to see Noa in a stupid yellow shirt, she looked like a banana. I laughed.

'Okay everyone, wait for the countdown and then run to the 'cornucopia'' Marcus shouts 'Do **not **kill anyone, we play a half hour.'

10…9…8…

I look around me, on the opposite side of the cornucopia I see Noa.

She is going to be my first target. I really want to kill her.

On the platform next to me stands Cato. 'Don't kill her now' he whispers.

'Why not?' i say quietly.

He looks at the Peacekeepers who are still watching me, I understand Cato, if i kill her now, the Peacekeepers are going to kill me.

3…2…1… * GONG *

I run as fast as i can to the Cornucopia. Grab a knife and immediatly at Noa's leg. Not her chest, but her leg.

The peacekeepers would take a throw at her chest as an attempt to kill, but her leg can use some scars.

And by the way, Bananas are used to get sliced!

I run to my next victim, a boy who is bigger than me, i could use a challence right now. He tries to swing my head off with his sword. I duck and roll over the ground, get up quickly and throw my knife at him.

It gets stuck in his leg, blood drains out of the wound.. this was seriously damage. I look to the Peacekeepers, who shake their heads and get their swords ready.

They want to walk into the IPA ( Indoor Practice Arena ) but Marcus stops them.

I run to the other side of the IPA, and see Lisa laying on the ground, a boy tackled her. She could use some help.

I strengthen my grip on the knife and walk to the boy. I put my knife against his throat. 'Leave her' i say.

He gets off her immediately. _'well that was easy..'_ I think. I help Lisa stand up, we wait for anyone to come and fight them..

' OKAY STOP THE GAMES, EVERYONE PUT YOUR WEAPON DOWN' Hanna shouts.

Marcus was still trying to calm the Peacekeepers down. As long as I was in the Indoor Practice Arena.. i was safe, well atleast they wouldn't kill me.

But now the 'games' are over. They raise their swords and are coming to me...


	6. Peacekeepers

Cato walks to me and the Peacekeepers, to help me if I need it. I still don't know any reason why he would even try to help me, but i'm glad he does.

I stand up for myself, so i don't look weak 'You still don't have a reason to kill me' i say.

They stand in front of me 'Listen up here, little girl; This is training and you are hurting everyone. You're the danger of the training.' One of them said.

I could feel my blood boiling.. i hated it when anyone called me 'little girl'.

'You just called me little girl huh? And now i'm the danger itself? Maybe you should control your own damn mind, because i'm sure there's something wrong with it' I tell them. Cato grins.

'Watch your words, we can kill you if we want to' one of the Peacekeepers says. '

You can't.-' I say, and shake my head.

Cato fills in my sentence ' You can only kill her if she killed someone else, and she didn't.'' He puts his arm around me ''Maybe you should go to the f*cking doctor to check your own damn brains, a Peacekeeper should know this sh*t'' he added a simple laugh at it.

'_The Peacekeepers can't say anything about this, Cato was right. The peacekeepers can't just kill someone as they want to, only if it's in the law.' _I think

Marcus is sick of the Peacekeepers, and sends them away from the Training Center.

'' We are not done with you guys yet'' the Peacekeepers yell at Cato and me as they're leaving the Training Center.

I look at Cato 'What the hell is wrong with them' i say.

'Too much' he responds.

Hanna takes over the place of Marcus. Marcus walked away from the training center. I feel sorry for him, he's pretty stressed now. All my fault, if i wasn't here at training, there weren't those Peacekeepers.

'Okay everyone sit down please' Hanna says.

Everyone is still shocked, and do what she said. We sit at wooden benches and listen to her. We are too tired to resist.

''So tomorrow is the last training of this season. At Sunday Pod comes here in district 2 for the Reaping. Remember?''

Pod was the weird guy with bright green hair, who picks names out of the bowl, those people are going to the Hunger Games, except if someone volunteers, and that is almost every reaping. There's a select of best ones from this Training Club and those people are volunteering. They usually win, and bring the pride to our district.

'' So? Who wants to volunteer this year?'' Hanna asked.

Cato raised up his hand 'I do! well my dad told me to, but i'm going to the games this year i guess.' Hanna looked happy, she was glad he wanted to volunteer. He was the best of this Training Club, so he had the most chance of winning.

Noa raised up her hand too. 'Oh ofcourse i will' she said arrogantly.

She did this just to provoke me. I roll my eyes.

'Oh.. okay!..' Hanna says. I can see at her face she wasn't happy with this decision. Noa was not good at all.

'We'll talk about it tomorrow' Hanna says. 'Dress up and we'll see you tomorrow' Everyone walked to the dressing room.

'Don't get in trouble with the peacekeepers huh? Little girl' Noa says to me.

I ignore her and walk through the dressing room, straight to the exit.

I stand outside, it was colder now, i was only wearing a t-shirt. Cato is already done too.. we walk together to our houses.

'Thanks..' i say to him.

'What for?' he answers. He knew what i meant, he was just teasing me again..

'Don't make this awkward' i reply. He stops walking. 'What?' i ask.

'This isn't awkward at all? There's only one person in this f*cking district I can say anything, and that's you Clove' He responds.

We continue walking but I look at the ground 'Sorry..'

'And now you're apologizing for what?'

he says. 'Well i.. i.. i don't know okay my head is just full of those stupid Peac-''

I stumble, i bumped my feet to a body. _'Why is a body laying on the ground?'_ i thought.

I look at Cato, who was already looking at me. 'He's dead i think..' Cato says.

'Who?' i ask him. But Cato doesn't answer.

I look back at the dead body and finally recognize it..

.. it was Marcus.


	7. The walk back home

I begin to panic.. ' Marcus?!' i breathe quickly.

Cato looked at the ground too, there was nothing we could do for Marcus, he was dead. And it is my fault.

On the inside i was crying, but my eyes weren't. '

_I never cry when i'm around people. It makes me look weak, and i don't like people. People will always do whatever they can to break you, well here in district 2. And the best way to don't get your heart broken, is by acting you don't have one.'' _I think.

The sun was already gone under, so it was becoming dark. I stared at the dead body.

Marcus was a nice man, he was training us to become killers.. but he was a good person.

'Lets move on' Cato says 'We can't stand here forever, they are going to pick up the body later..' I wanted to respond, but no words were coming out of my mouth. Cato and I continue walking.

I feel awful, everyone knew Marcus and it's my fault he's dead.

'He was your trainer right?' i quietly ask Cato.

'Yeah' he says.

'I'm so sorry..'I look back down at the ground. Just to watch my step.

Cato puts his arm around my waist. 'It's not your fault, the Peacekeepers killed him, you didn't.'

I feel empty, I try to answer but no voice is coming out.

We are almost at my house, this time i don't care about going another way, so Alex won't see Cato.

Finally i find the strength to speak again. 'It is.. if I didn't fight with Noa, the Pea-'' I can't finish my sentence, Cato kisses me. I don't pull back.

I hug him, as i look over his shoulder i see my house, there's light in the kitchen,

I see the silhouet of a man standing there, it takes my brain 10 seconds to understand it's Alex.

My eyes widen and my heart skipped a beat. I pull back slowly.

'Are you okay?' Cato asks me.

I just shake my head and stare at the window, where Alex stands.

Cato takes a look at the window 'Oh..' 'Clove listen.. you know where my house is right?'

'yeah' i say

'If there's something going on you can come to me okay?'

'Okay.. thankyou' I smile a little, but my eyes betray my sadness.

'See you tomorrow..' Cato says to fill in the silence.

'See you tomorrow' I walk to the door, Cato walks through the street on way to his house. I knock on the door.

Alex stands in the opening of the door, he is nothing but mad.

I see Alyssa sitting on the sofa, i can't argue with Alex now.

I just say softly 'Don't you dare to touch me'

He doesn't say anything. I go inside my house, and climb up the stairs.

Too much thoughts are running through my head.

I can't handle this anymore. I open the door of my room, and let myself fall on the bed.

I've never felt so empty, happy, angry and sad at the same time.

_'Why do always the wrong people die, if Alex died… or Noa?I would be happy, i don't care about people. __There are a few that i __**do **__care about, and exactly these people die. Who is making those decisions? Why is my life so hard? _

_I want to live on my own, start over. Everyone deserves a second chance right? I act like i don't have no feelings at all, maybe i don't have them anymore, maybe they died a long time ago.. i don't know._

_ I just have to wait till i'm 18, then i am going to volunteer, and I finally can live a better life, with Alyssa. I hope Alex dies before i kill him.. and i can't kill him because the peacekeepers are going to kill me. And i have won the Hunger Games for nothing then_

_. I have to play those games.. The Hunger Games. Not to make my district proud, but to make myself and my parents proud. _

_Where are my parents? Maybe they're watching me the whole time.. but how?' _ I think.

I lay my head down on the pillow. I'm trying to think of happy things..but i can't . My head feels so heavily and I fall into a deep sleep.


	8. Burned down

I slowly open my eyes, and turn my head to see the time on the clock .

My eyes widen.. there is a squirrel on my alarmclock. '_What the hell!?'' _

I forget about everything what happened yesterday. That squirrel has to go out of my room!

I see that the window is openend. I move my arm behind the squirrel, and it jumps out of the window.

I close it immediately, just in case that there aren't more squirrels coming to visit me in my sleep.

I'm wide awake now. It's only 9 am. 'W_hat am i going to do?'_ I say to myself.

I look at what i'm wearing and see it's still my training clothes. I'm just going to take a shower.

I walk in the bathroom & close the door. I put out my clothes and stand under the warm water.

I remind myself of yesterday.. what happened at training and with Marcus_._

_'' I wish i had said him goodbye, or at least any words. I wish i thanked him yesterday, for the fact that he kept the Peacekeepers away from me. But i didn't, and now he's killed by the Peacekeepers. Did he sarcifice hisself? I don't think so.. and i will never figure out. _

_And about Cato, I think i do have feelings for him. I can be myself around him. But i'm not a person for love. There's just no bond between me and 'love'. But Cato has saved my damn life when i was about to get killed by a Peacekeeper._

_ I don't think i ever will be able to pay that back.. i mean.. how much is a human life worth? _

_Well I will do anything i can do. And if i had to give my life for that, i have to do that.'' _– I think. After i have washed my hair i turn off the water and dry myself.

I walk into my room and put on the first clothes i see, it's Saturday.. nobody is going to see me.

I go downstairs and make myself breakfast. I take a seat and eat my food.

Alyssa comes downstairs so say hi to me.. 'Goodmorning' i say back. She runs upstairs again.

I hear water falling down, she must be taking a shower. I do nothing and watch some tv.

I smell something weird, but i don't recognize it. _'Fire? Is that it?' _

I stand up and sniff again. I think it is upstairs. So i climb up the stairs and feel the heat.

I stop and my eyes widen.

Flames everywhere, in Alex's room.. in my room, in the hall and the bathroom. Smoke is everywhere. I search for Alyssa and Alex.

When i take a closer look i see Alex with some sigarettes.. probably he dropped one on the wooden floor and it started to burn, but where's Alyssa?!

I begin to panic. '' WHERE'S ALYSSA?'' I scream to Alex. But he doesn't answer.

'Clove? CLOVE?!' i hear a sound coming from the smoking bathroom.

'Alyssa open up the door!' i yell.

'I CAN'T' her voice sounds so fearful.

'don't worry Alyssa' I try to kick in the door, but i fall back down.

I can't do this 'ALEX KICK THAT DOOR RIGHT NOW' I scream.

He looks at me and shakes his head. 'DO IT ! SHE IS GOING TO DIE!'

I sound frightened.. i am frightened, 'Daddy help!' Alyssa screams. But Alex doesn't do anything.

I run downstairs and kick the front door open, i run outside and as fast as i can to Cato's house. If Alex isn't going to help me, maybe Cato will. I run faster, knowing that it could mean the difference between Alyssa's life and death.

When i'm finally reaching his house i knock at the door. Cato is opening.

'Hey Clove' Cato says.

'NO TIME TO EXPLAIN, COME!' i say. No time to think, i grab his arm and run off to my house.

He runs with me, thanks god he just went with me, and didn't ask why. When we're reaching my house i see the whole roof burning in flames.

I open up the door and run upstairs. 'ALYSSA?!'

I don't hear anything.. I don't see anything, there is too much smoke here.

'Cato please kick that door!' I never knew i was sounding so terrified.

Cato kicks the door and it's falling down into the bathroom.

I see Alyssa laying on the ground. She isn't moving.

Cato grabs her body and we walk downstairs, there's less smoke, Cato and I couldn't even breathe upstairs.

I open up the front door and we go outside. Cato lays Alyssa down on the grass.

I try to resusticate her. 'P-Please breathe' I cried.

Cato pushes me away from her and i fall down. I don't hear anything, and everything went dark.

5 minutes later I open my eyes again.

I have had a black out.. I am still crying and i can't control my breath.. too much smoke i think.

I sit up and see Alyssa's body laying on the grass, and Cato sitting on a little bench in my garden.

'I tried everything i could do' He says 'but she is dead..'

I can't talk, I want to cry even more.. but i won't do that. If i can't be sad, i fill that gate with anger. I want revenge, i want to kill Alex.

I stand up, but i fall down again. My head is so heavy i can't f*cking walk. But i have to kill him! I try to stand up again.

'You look drunk' Cato says.

'Wh-What?' I ask

'I said that you look drunk, silly' he grins.

I let myself fall down again. 'Okay fine.'

I look to the sky and see a shimmering. _'What was that?'_ i think.

Cato walks to me and helps me up.

I see that my house is burned down. Every memory, every moment in my life. Burned down in ashes. I'm still crying on the inside, but my tears are dried out.

Cato and I are walking to the park, there's one big park in the centre of District 2.

We don't say much, i stumble a few times, and he just laughs at it, but he's helping me everytime to get up again.

My head and body is full of smoke, that's why i'm falling down the whole time. There are more things on my 'I hate- list' 1. Squirrels. 2. Fire! And Fire.

We are reaching the park and sit down in the grass at a silent place, further in the park to the lake. Here are no people around. _'No people, finally!'_ I think.

'So.. i'm sorry' Cato says.

'And now you're apologizing for what?' i ask him.

'Well your sister died.' He responds.

I look to the water 'That isn't your fault.'

'I hope Alex is burned down too' I say to change the subject.

'yeah me too' Cato nods.

'So tell me, why are you doing all this?' i ask. 'Doing what?' he says.

'Well you've saved my life yesterday when i was fighting with the Peacekeepers, you helped me trying to save my sister..'

'Oh that.. well, maybe because i l- lo-v''

I interrupt him 'don't say it, those words are never meant to be said in District 2.' I smile. I do like him.

'I'll shut my mouth by now' he grins.

I bury my face in my hands. 'Why is life so hard?' i say.

'You're not the only one who's thinking that' Cato replies. 'Nobody dies as a virgin.'

'What?' i look suprised at him.

'Well.. because life fucks everyone'

Please review! it means a lot :) x


	9. Nothing but ashes

'_Cato wanted to say that he loved me. But these words aren't meant to be said here in District 2. There is no such thing as 'love'. Everyone is just being together for kids, who are training their whole life for the Hunger Games. More children means more chance of one of them winning the games. And when they win the games, the family gets a house in the Victor Village. The houses are beautiful there, but the probability of winning for the kids is so small.' _I think, and look to the tiny fishes in the lake.

'_I'm sure my parents wouldn't let me go this way. We were once a happy family. My mom and dad, me and little Alyssa. But they're all gone now. I'm the only one left. I wasn't born to participate in the Hunger Games, but i'm sure Cato was, he just doesn't know it._

'so my dad said i have to volunteer this year' Cato mumbles.

I was right, he was born for this. 'Don't go..' i reply.

'I'm going to win the games, and then we've got a house in the victor village, and this is my last year.'

He was right, this was his last year, if he didn't volunteer he had trained his whole life for nothing.

'Just don't die, okay?' i ask him.

'I'm not going to die, if you aren't going to volunteer.' He responds. 'Promise?'

'Promise.' I tell him. So we have a deal, Cato is going to win the games, and we live a long and happy life after he comes back.

Sounds perfect. But what if he dies…

'We should go, training starts in two hours.' Cato says.

'Okay' i mumble. 'Wait.. where are we going to?'

'uh our houses?' he responds.

I laugh and shake my head. I almost forgot my house is burned down.

'Oh.. yeah, you can come to my house.' He grins.

'Okay' i smile.

We walk through the park, on our way to the streets. I see that I'm still wearing the clothes I didn't want anyone to see me in, a simple t shirt and black sweatpants. Looks pretty much like training clothes, and by the way, my house is burned down so my clothes are too.

I want to figure out if Alex is still alive.

We walk hand in hand through the streets, I want to see my house, well the leftovers of it. So we go first to my house, and then to Cato's.

We reach my house, it's totally collapsed, not much fire, but more smoke.

This place turned from my home, in which I've lived in my whole life, into nothing but ashes.

Cato and I walk to the garden. Alyssa's body is still there, motionless. Tears spring upon my eyes, I don't want to cry again.

She lays there so silent and soulless. I sit down next to her body.

This isn't Alyssa, Alyssa was happy, she was the sunshine in the house.

But everything is gone now, she's nothing but a hollow body. I have to accept it, I can't do anything for her, she's gone.

'Don't you have important stuff to do? As you are going to volunteer tomorrow, this is your last day in District 2.' I ask Cato, who still stands there looking at me and Alyssa's body.

He shrugs. 'You are important'

I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything. I get up and walk through the leftovers in my house. Trying to find something what means a lot to me.

I find a knife, it was the knife of my dad. My real dad. He was a great knife-thrower too. My parents let my initials engraved in the blade.

I smile a bit. I had to keep this knife. I grab the knife and walk back to Cato.

'Done?' he asks me.

I nod. We walk out of the leftovers of the house. Straight to Cato's house. We don't have many time left.

'Sorry that I was busy so long' I say to Cato.

'Doesn't matter.' He replies.

As we reach his house Cato's mom already opens up the door. We walk inside and I greet her.

'You must be Clove' she said.

'Yep that's me' I respond. How did she knew my name?

Cato runs upstairs to put on his training clothes. I want to be nice to his parents. I'm never nice to people, and neither are they nice to me. But this is different.

'So how are you?' Selene ( Cato's Mom) asks me.

'I'm fine, what about you?' I smile a little, but again.. my eyes betray my sadness.

'I'm fine, but you aren't' she winks at me 'Tell me, what's wrong?'

I sigh. 'My house and sister are burned down in fire.' That was a good sentence to explain what happened today. 'Cato tried to help me, but it was too late.'.

I can feel the fire burn in my eyes again, not sure if it are tears coming up, or I'm just full with anger..i don't know, but it doesn't feel good.

'Oh..' she replies. 'I feel sorry for you.' I look to the ground. This was a typical awkward moment.

'You can sleep here if you want to' she says.

I smile a little 'Thank you'.

Cato runs down the stairs. 'Ready Clove?' I nod.

We walk to the door. I wave at his mom. I'm sure Alex wouldn't be so open to anyone.

Cato can't walk even in the same f*cking street as me if it depends on him.

Cato and I walk through the streets, on our way to training.


	10. The last day

We walk in the Training Center. I walk through the dressing room, straight to the Training hall.

I don't want to see other girls like Noa. I just sit on a bench.

I see Hanna searching for Marcus. I look down, he's dead because of me. Just like Alyssa.

Well, I don't hope that the Peacekeepers are coming again. Lisa walks in the training hall and sits next to me.

'What happened?' she asks me.

'nothing?' I try to sound innocent.

'Don't lie to me'

'_Does she really know what happened? I've told it to no one except Cato and his mom. No one else. She can't know this.' _I think.

'Clove I feel such things.' She admits.

'Things like what?!..' I ask her.

Lisa looks me straight in my eyes. 'Tell me'.

I shake my head, I don't want to explain. The hall fills with children.

'Listen up everyone! Today is the last training of the season. Tomorrow is the Reaping.' Hanna shouts 'Does anyone know where Marcus is? I don't have seen him today.' I look to Cato, probably he thought the same as me, and looks at me. He nods, and whispers 'say it'.

'He.. He is dead.' I say to Hanna.

I look to the ground, I feel the eyes of the people who are watching me, it's like they're burning me. Hanna is shocked.

'Oh poor you! You've killed another? Shouldn't the peacekeepers do something about that..' Noa laughs.

'Maybe they first have to fix your f*cking face' Cato says to Noa.

'There's nothing wrong with me' she says.

'You are still breathing, that is wrong.'

'Noa! Cato! that is enough!' Hanna screams.

'Clove I'll talk to you after the training.' Hanna says. I nod. I look down to avoid any eye contact.

'Okay everyone, warming up! Run 20 times to the opposite wall and back.' Hanna tells us.

I stand up. Life is complicated, running is simple. I run to the wall and back, and repeat that 20 times.

When everyone is done Hanna says 'Okay, whole training is in the Indoor Practice Arena. We are going to play the Practice Games again. Same rules as yesterday! Go stand by your group,' Everyone stands with their groups. Me and Marc-'

I see the disappointment in her face, she has to do everything alone now.

She corrects herself 'I meant I* will make the teams... you know, f*ck the teams. Everyone does it his or herself! In the Hunger Games you have to fight alone sometime, you can't stick together with district 1 and 4 forever.. You **can **injury others, only the best are going to volunteer tomorrow. Just don't kill each other.'

All 30 children of group 3 are walking to their platforms and wait for the countdown.

10…9…8…7…

I was too tired to look around me, so much has happened today and yesterday.

Before I know it the gong goes off. I run slowly to the cornucopia and see there are no knifes left.

I roll my eyes and grab a thin sword. I can work with that too I guess.

I run after a boy, when I'm closer to him I swing the sword and give him a huge scar on his leg, knowing I can't kill him. But I can hurt him.

I see a girl, she is going to be next.

I stumble, and fall on the ground. My ankle can't take this anymore. I have to sit down. But where? I see the cornucopia. I hop to the cornucopia and try to climb on it. It's harder than I thought it would be. But I can do this. I do a run up and pull myself on the cornucopia.

I sit on the highest point, and have a nice view on everyone fighting. This is pretty funny to see.

'_Where's Cato?'_ I think, and look over the field to find him.

_'In a week he is going to be in the Hunger Games, it is weird to see him fighting on TV. I don't want him to leave. His mom was so nice to me, why would she want to put him in the games. I would __**never**__ to that to my children.'_

I look down, I don't see Cato anywhere.

'OKAY STOP!' Hanna screams. 'PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPONS'

Everyone puts down their weapons.

'I want everyone to be fit tomorrow, so you better can go home and sleep.' Hanna says

, I'm sure she didn't want that, but she is just too tired herself, what I understand, she has lost someone too. She and Marcus knew each other so long.

Everyone walks to their dressing room, but I want to tell Hanna what happened yesterday.

I slide off the cornucopia and walk to Hanna. I hear Cato yelling 'Clove I'll wait outside for you'.

I look at him and nod.

'Hanna I am so sorry..if.. if I wasn't like that yesterday, the Peacekeepers wouldn't kill him.' I say to her.

'Clove it isn't your fault.' She says to calm me down. I am shaking..

' Cato and I walked back home from training, and at once I stumbled over a body. First I didn't recognize it was Marcus, Cato said he was dead. I'm sure the Peacekeepers killed him!' I say regrettable.

Hanna tries to look strong, but I see she is not at all. I give her a hug.

'I didn't get the chance to say him goodbye, but I wanted to thank you, for all you've done for me.'

Hanna smiles a little. 'Bye' she tells me. And I go outside, Cato still stands there.

We walk through the streets, to his house. We walk past an old man on the corner of a street. He is around 80 years.

_'Will I ever be that old? I don't think so.. I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. But I want to spend it with the boy who walks next to me, Cato. If he is going to win the games. If he dies too, I have nothing left.'_

'Why are you going to volunteer?' I say quietly. '

Why shouldn't I?'Cato replies

'Once upon a time I am going to die, you are going to die. We all die Clove! It is going to happen. What difference does It makes if it's in a week, or in 80 years? There's no way out. I am going to die once, but till then I want to fight for my life. If I can choose to live this life, or take the risk to die, and win the Games so I live in the Victor Village with you. I am ready to take that risk. I want to live while I'm alive.'

I am shocked by his words. I didn't knew he thought like that. But still, he was right.

'_Is there life after death? Where is Alyssa now? She has to be somewhere..'_ I think.

We arrive at Cato's house. He opens the door and we walk inside. I see his little brother and sister.

'Want some tea?' Selene asks us.

'No thanks' we reply.

Cato and I walk upstairs. We're both very tired.

There's happened so much today. Earlier this day I was sitting in my house, Alyssa was still alive. Then the fire came, and ruined everything.

I would do anything to turn back the time, but I can't.

I lay down on a bed, tomorrow is the reaping. Time flies by, but I'm still awake.

I look at Cato, he looks so innocent when he's sleeping instead of someone who **wants **to be in the Hunger Games.

I try to escape of my thoughts, and fall into a light sleep.


	11. The Reaping

I slowly open my eyes. _'Where am I ?' _I think.

I look around the room and don't recognize anything. I see a closet, a table with a little plant on it. I look to the other side and see a Cato looking at me.

Wait.. he is not a thing. My brain is acting so stupidly since the fire in my house.

'Hey' I mumble. 'Hey' Cato replies.

'How long have you been watching me?' I smirk.

'A while' He smiles.

I lay back down and sigh. Today is the Reaping day. Just a few hours left and Cato is gone.

'_What is 'gone'? Gone forever or just for 2 weeks? I don't know, but gone means to me a too long time without him.'_

'Just make sure you are going to win' I say to him.

'Ofcourse I'm going to win.' He tells me.

I don't doubt about his strength, or sword skills, just maybe there is another tribute who is strong enough too.

If not there are always the gamemakers who can kill him anytime they want.

Someone knocks on the door. It's getting pushed open. Cato's dad stands in the doorway. He looks at me. 'Who is that?' he asks Cato.

'_I can answer myself..'_ I think.

'That's Clove.' Cato responds.

'Oh' His dad looks at us two laying next to each other. 'You two were busy? I'm sorry, just finish it quickly. The reaping starts in 2 hours'. He winks at us.

I look incomprehensible at him, was he seriously thinking…

'Bye dad.' Cato rolls his eyes. Great first impression. The door closes.

'Sorry. He's weird.' Cato says.

I laugh a little. I walk to a mirror and brush my hair. '_I don't give a f*ck about his dad. He is the one who made Cato believe he had to volunteer.'_ I think. '

What are you going to do if you get picked?' Cato asks me.

'I'm not going to be picked. And if I get, someone will volunteer for me I guess..' I answer.

'You couldn't win the games' he tells me.

'Why not?' I giggle.. I can win the games, I'm sure. '

Because I'm going too' He smirks.

This is one of the reasons why I love him. He just teases me on the right moments, but I think that he will protect me no matter what.

I make a simple, but beautiful hairstyle and put on a little bit of makeup. Cato fixes his hair. Selene walks in the room and shows me a beautiful dress.

'Do you want to wear this?' She asks me.

'Yes!' I really like this dress. It's a light pink one with glitters. It's a bit 'girly' but I'm okay with that. 'Thank you'.

Selene lays it on the bed and walks through the door.

I'm not sure if it's going to fit. I'm pretty small, but his mother isn't long too.

I put out my clothes and put on the dress.

It fits perfectly. I look in the mirror and look at myself. I'm happy with the result.

Selene knocks on the door and opens it. 'Wow you look beautiful' she says to me. 'She always looks beautiful' Cato tells her.

'I don't, but thanks' I smirk.

'Are you ready?' Selene asks us. '

Yeah I think so' Cato responds.

'Okay let's go then' She says.

We walk downstairs. Cato's dad is coming to the reaping too. Selene opens the door and we walk to the court, where the reaping will take place. It's not a long way, so we arrive quick.

Cato and I stand in a row, we wait 5 minutes and then a woman with plastic gloves pricks a needle in my finger. I press the blood on the paper and she scans it. I wait till Cato is ready too. And we walk together.

This is our last moment together. I feel the tears burning in my eyes. I can't cry now. When we're going to split up I give him a long hug.

I don't want to leave him.

Two peacekeepers are pushing us apart. 'Go to your section!' they say.

I walk slowly to the 15-year old section. I look one last time behind me, but I can't see really much. My eyes fill up with tears.

'_Don't cry Clove. Don't f*cking cry'_ I say to myself.

'See you in two weeks!' Cato yells to me. A peacekeeper pushes him back in his section.

Pan the weird capitol man, stands in front of the crowd. Behind the microphone. He says his usual speech. I barely hear anything of it. My own thoughts are rushing through my head.

I'm looking confused to Pan's hair. It's bright green and almost the form of a ball. It's looking like a green apple. Capitol people look weird, some of them even have implanted whiskers, or a tail.

'For the boys!' Pan says happily and walks to the bowl. He grabs a paper out of it and walks back to the microphone.

'Jason Brick' He speaks loudly in the microphone. A small, 13 year old stands up.

'I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE' I hear Cato yelling.

I look at him, he walks fearless to the stage. Pan stands next to him.

'What is your name?' Pan asks Cato.

'Cato Hadley' he responds.

'Okay, and now for the girls.' He walks to the other bowl and grabs a paper. He walks back to the microphone, it looks like slow motion to me.

Better they do everything quickly, I want my Cato back.

'Clove Kentwell' Pan says out loud.

My eyes widen. 'No! _This can't be happening! Cato and I made a deal.. but.. everything is gone now. My future is already drawn out.'_

I remember that Careers don't show emotion, so I walk confident to the stage.

I stand next to Pan, Cato stands on the other side. 'Any volunteers?' Pan asks the crowd. But everyone stays quiet.

'THIS YEARS TRIBUTES; CATO HADLEY AND CLOVE KENTWELL' Pan yells. 'And may the odds be ever in **your** favor.

But I already know, that the odds aren't exactly in my favor.


	12. Goodbye

Cato and I shake our hands, but all I want is a hug right now. But this isn't the moment for that.

A few peacekeepers lead us inside the community home. I've never been inside here. It looks pretty beautiful. There's red carpet everywhere.

I walk inside a room, where I'm supposed to say goodbye to my family. But I don't have any family members anymore.

The door opens, it's Lisa. She has always been one of my best friends. She hugs me.

'I seriously would this went different.' She tells me. 'You and Cato were in love right?'

'Yeah.. we still are..' I look down.

'You two can win!' she tries to let me feel more comfortable, but I don't.

'24 tributes, one comes out. Cato and I may be the last two, but only one comes out..' I tell her. 'I don't want to die yet.'

'You're not going to die.' Lisa says.

The door opens, it's a peacekeeper. 'Times up'.

Lisa walks out of the room 'Good luck, Clove'.

The door opens again, Hanna stands in the doorway.

'Clove, listen' she begins 'You don't have to think about Marcus, it wasn't your fault! He was already in trouble with those peacekeepers. Maybe this is the last time I can tell you this.'

I nod. 'Just show them what you've got. Probably everyone will underestimate you, just show them a good show, it's all they want.'

'Okay, thank you.' I reply. Why can't Hanna be my mentor instead of Brutus and Enobaria.

'Times up' a peacekeeper says. Hanna walks out and I'm all alone again.

I sit down on a black sofa. _'There was one last thing I have to do in my life.. make sure that Cato wins. He has saved my life, and tried to save my sister. Now I have to do something back.' _I stare out of the window. '_If Cato dies I have nothing left. If I die he still has his family and stuff. I actually don't know what I mean to him.'_

Pan walks in the room. 'Are you coming?'

I nod and walk to him, out of this weird room. We walk to Cato's 'goodbye-room'. Pan and I don't talk to eachother.

I hate the way he was so happy at the reaping. He doesn't know what's going on here. He isn't the one who is going into the arena and fight till death.

He is just another stupid capitol thing. I can't call it an human being.

I knock on the door and open it. I see Cato standing, he doesn't look happy at all. Neither do I. I run towards him and hug him.

Pan stands there awkwardly looking at us.

It's like the Capitol is ripping my heart out of me. I have made a deal with Cato, we could live a long and happy life. But the capitol ruined everything.

We take a short walk to the train. I don't understand it at all, how am I able to fight till death and sh*t, If I'm already dead on the inside.

Cato was right, it doesn't matter if you die tomorrow, in a week or in 80 years. You are going to die and you can't stop it. Life is a deadly disease. So in that case, it doesn't matter if I kill other people. They're dead anyways. They are going to die someday, so I think it's fair to kill them, if I can save my own life with that.

Well I don't have a life, I'm already dead. But I can save Cato, Cato is my life. And I will do **anything** to save him.

We step into the train. It's huge! I look around and see a dinner room, with a red table and white chairs. It's all so modern. There's a plasma TV and a nice sofa.

I walk into a small hall, and see two doors. I think this is my room. I open one of the doors and see a beautiful bed, beautiful decoration and around the corner there's a bathroom. All for my own.

I take a look at the shower and see like 18 different buttons. I don't understand this sh*t. I'm afraid that I'll destroy them, so I walk back to the living room.

Cato, Brutus and Enobaria sit there. I take a seat next to Cato.

'Congratulations' Brutus says.

This is my problem.. they think that we're happy to go into the games.

Cato was happy, but now I'm in it too and he knows that if he wants to win, he has to kill me. I'm not going to kill him, I can't kill my own life.

'So are you guys happy?' Enobaria asks us.

Cato looks at me, and I look back.

'Not at all' We say at the same time.

'Why not? You've trained your whole life's for this'

I don't want to explain. I walk to my room and shut the door.

I let myself fall on the bed and grab a pillow to bury my face in while I'm crying.

How the f*ck am I supposed to be happy right now.


	13. The train

_No matter what, people will always try to kick someone else down. You'll always be judged. But no one can hurt me now, I'm already dead, the question is; Was I alive? Do I even exist? Stop thinking about this Clove, you're going into the games. You aren't dead yet. Cato is still alive right?_

Someone knocks on the door. 'No shut up!' I yell.

I'm sure it's Brutus or Enobaria who want to ask why I walked away. I don't want to hear their sh*t.

I walk to my bathroom and look in the mirror. My whole cheeks are black of the mascara. I'm going to take a shower I think.. but how the hell is that thing working? I lock the door of the bathroom.

A flashback is running through my head. Smoke, really much smoke. Alyssa screaming my name from the bathroom. Alex who doesn't do anything. If Alyssa didn't locked the door.. she could escape.

I decide to don't lock it. They know that I don't want attention right now, so they'll leave me alone.

I take a look at the 18 buttons at the douche-panel.

I see a green button, if red buttons are not good.. then green probably is!

I press the green button. Green slime is coming out of the shower. 'What the f*ck?!' I mumble.

Is this slime or capitol shampoo?! I touch the button again to turn it off.

Water is 'blue' so maybe the blue button. I press the blue button and see water coming out!

I touch the water, but it's cold. 'Argh' I mumble.

I hear some laughter. I look behind me and see Cato standing in the doorway.

'What the f*ck are you doing here?' I ask him.

'I can better ask you?' He responds.

He walks in the bathroom and stands in front of the douche-panel. I see him touching the red button.

Cato kisses me, smirks and walks out of the bathroom. I still stand there confused.

_'Why the red button? Red is bad. My dad always said to me. Except blood, blood is good.'_

I touch the water, it's naturally colored. It's warm water.. finally!

I put out my clothes and stand under the warm water. Shampoo.. I don't want the green slime in my hair. But it has to be the shampoo!

I take a deep breath and touch the green button.

The green substance flows out of the shower, and in no time I'm totally covered by it. I look in the mirror. I look like a monster. A capitol monster!

There's nothing worse than that. I push the red button again and rinse it off.

I grab a towel and dry myself. I walk to the wardrobe in my room and the only 'normal' clothes I see are an hoodie and sweatpants, the rest is capitol-sh*t.

So I grab the sweatpants and hoodie and put them on.

I take a breath and walk back to the living room. It's dinner time.

'Where did you go?' Enobaria asks me.

'Just taking a shower'. I walk to the buffet and lay food on my plate. I sit down on a chair and start to eat.

I look up and see everyone looking at me, even the Avox!

'What?' I say.

'Who said that you were going to grab your food yourself?!' Brutus says.

Cato grins 'I had the same problem.'

'Well yeah.. if I'm hungry and I see food, I am going to eat that food.' I respond.

Enobaria rolls her eyes and changes the subject. 'So what are your weapons of choice?'

'Knifes' I answer.

'Swords' Cato says.

'Aha, that's pretty dangerous, but Clove.. don't you have a.. well.. another weapon?' Enobaria asks me.

'What's wrong with my knifes?' I reply.

Cato fills in 'Don't underestimate her, she **never** misses.'

Brutus and Enobaria look at each other and laugh. I roll my eyes and Cato just stares awkwardly at everyone.

I just go on eating my food. 'When are we reaching the Capitol?' Cato asks Brutus.

'This evening' Brutus answers.

My plate is empty. 'I'm done.' I say and walk to the sofa. Cato stands up and sits on the sofa next to me.

'Can we watch the other Reapings?' He asks.

'Sure!' Enobaria replies. 'The orange button'.

Cato grabs the remote control and presses the orange button. We see Caesar Flickerman introducing the 74'th annual Hunger Games.

The show starts with district 1, and ends with 12.

District 1's tributes are Glimmer and Marvel.. 'WHAT KIND OF NAMES ARE THAT?!' Cato laughs. I'm not able to control my laughter too, 'So that are Careers huh?'

District 2 comes.. 'yeah I don't want to see that.' I say 'Just go on to the next one'

Cato presses a button and it goes to district 3. They're around 15 years. But I don't see them as a real competition.

Then district 4 is coming. District 4 is a Career district too. But these tributes are just 13 year old kids. 'I think we have to do it with us two' Cato says. 'These tributes are worthless'.

Nothing special is coming up in district 5 – 10.

District 11's tributes are Thresh and Rue. This was what I was afraid of. Just another tribute who's 18. He could easily kill me.

'Maybe that guy wants to be in the Careergroup.' Cato says. But I don't answer at all. There's a weird feeling inside of me. Is this… fear?

Cato sees it, he pulls his arm around me. 'What's wrong?' I stare at the TV and shake my head.

'Don't worry. I'll protect you, always. Even if I have to die for that.'

My eyes widen. '_No he can't do that! This is my job! He has to win, not me..'_

We see district 12, a pathetic coal-mining district. A little girl is chosen. Cato smirks 'That is going to be easy.'

Out of nowhere a girl is pathetic screaming. 'I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE'.

'WHAT THE HELL!?' Cato says 'Does that thing seriously thinks that she can pull out a Career?'

'Whaaat?' I stare at the screen.

This can't be true. Katniss Everdeen is her name. She is afraid, I see it.

The other tribute is Peeta Mellark. I look at Cato 'Look at them, they're waiting to be killed.'

'Can't wait till the Games begin' he replies.

But that Thresh.. I don't have a good feeling about him.


	14. Capitol

'We're almost at the Capitol' Enobaria says.

'That's quick' I reply.

'Yeah.. district 12 is much longer on their way to the Capitol. Thanks god that district 2 is pretty close to the Capitol!' She says.

I stand up and look out of the window. I see high buildings everywhere. Is this seriously the Capitol?

It's so… weird, but what have I expected from the Capitol? Of course it's weird.

'I'm going to take a shower' Cato says, and walks to the bathroom.

I'm curious what his reaction to the green slime will be, so I walk quietly to his room.

Enobaria shakes her head. '' Clove.. don't do that.'

I smile at her. I hear Cato yelling 'CLOVE? What button is the shampoo?'

'The green one' I say as serious as I can. I sit on his bed, waiting for his reaction.

'EW' he yells 'CLOVE WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS?' I laugh.

I hear him singing 'I'm only a man with a chamber who's got me, I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me! A monster, a monster'

He smashes the door open and I look to the with green slime-covered-Cato. 'I've turned into a **monster**!'.

I'm crying of the laughter. Cato runs to me and gives me a hug.

'Meh now I'm a monster too' I giggle. The green slime is all over me. Now I have to put on other clothes again, but who cares about that.

We're all going to die once, just live while you're alive. Cato walks in the shower and closes the door.

I walk through the living room. Enobaria asks me 'What happened with you?!'

'There's a monster in the bathroom' I reply seriously.

'WHAT?!' Brutus stares at me like I'm insane.

'Like I said, my boyfriend turned into a monster.' I giggle.

'Wow wait.. boyfriend?' Brutus asks me.

'Yeah?' I reply.

Enobaria and Brutus look to each other shaking their heads. 'I'm afraid that can't be true anymore..' Enobaria tells me. '

What?! Why?' I'm confused.

'Careers don't love.' She tells me. 'Every moment there's a camera. Don't love him! It could mean the difference between life and death to you Clove. If everyone knows you two are in love they are going to mess things up, and district 2 has no victor then. Do you understand me?'.

I look down 'yeah..'

I walk slowly to my room. Now I even can't die as myself. She thinks my feelings for him is like one of these f*cking capitol douche-buttons. She thinks that I can just turn them off! How the f*ck am I going to do that.

The only thing she cares about is that district 2 must have a victor. She is one of them, Enobaria is judging me too, while she doesn't know anything about me!

I roll my eyes and put on some other clothes. A loose fitting red blouse and jeans. I'm not a person for all the Capitol clothes.

Enobaria yells '10 minutes left! Hurry up!'

I quickly put on those clothes and walk back in the livingroom. Cato finally made me happy again, but there are always the people who want to ruin these things. I'm not happy that often.

I bet that Enobaria knows that I'm going to die, she underestimates me too. '_Just wait for the scores, Enobaria'_ I think.

As we're arriving the Capitol Me and Cato walk to the window and watch these Capitol people waiting on us. 'They're looking so weird' Cato says. 'Some of them even have a tail' I fill in.

I actually don't give a f*ck about what Enobaria said. I am going to die as myself, and **I** do love Cato. People will hate me anyways.

Brutus and Enobaria lead us on our way to the Capitol building, where we will stay for the upcoming days, and where we will train. We walk through the crowd of Capitol people. They all want to look at us, some are almost fighting for a place to see us.

This is insane, they put us in a game, where we will fight till death. And now they're acting like we are famous people.

There definitely is something wrong with them.

We walk into a big building, it has 12 floors and a cellar, which the training hall is. Each district has their own floor, we're district 2 so we live at floor 2. We go with the elevator to floor 2.

'So much buttons, thanks god there's no green button.' Cato says. 'You would become a monster again' I smirk.

We walk to our rooms. It's so big and modern here. Actually it looks the same as the train. Only bigger, and our bedrooms are wider. I grab a drink out of the fridge and drink it.

'You two are going to your stylists; Apple, Vine and Octavia.' Enobaria says. I almost spit out my drink. 'Apple?! What a name!' I laugh.

'Hi I'm apple' I say with a stupid Capitol accent.

'I'm Vine, how are you?' Cato responds. Even Brutus and Enobaria are laughing.

'You two have to go now!' Brutus says.

'Where is that room?' I ask him. 'Through the hall, second door left' Brutus replies.

Cato and I are walking to our stylists. He grabs my hand.

'Are we being filmed right now?' I ask him.

He looks around. 'I don't see any camera's.'

'Okay good.'

'Why? Is there something wrong with that?'

I don't know if Cato can know what Enobaria has said to me. I decide to not tell him.

'Nothing, I just don't like being filmed.'

_Maybe do they only want to break me. They're waiting to see me fall. To see me fall apart. To see me as a fallen tribute. Is that what you want Enobaria? They already know that Cato is the one going to win, in that case.. I'm with them. But they don't have to wait to see me dying. _

This evening we have the stallions ride, but I'm so tired. The stylists have to do a miracle to make me look pretty right now.

We knock on the door. One of the stylists opens it. I don't know who it is. The stylists introduce themselves.

'I'm Octavia' The one with a light green skin says. 'I'll do the makeup.'

'I am Apple' I will do the hair. I hope she doesn't give me that weird pink hair like hers.

'I'm Vine.. I wi-' 'Good to hear, I'm fine too.' Cato says.

I laugh quietly. The three stylists are looking at us, they don't understand it.

Yeah.. that's it. Capitol people just don't understand anything.


	15. The Chariots

'We will make you two ready for the chariots this evening' Octavia says to break the silence.

'Okay' I reply.

'Clove you can come with me' Vine says as she walks to a smaller room with a big table in it.

I follow her. I lay down on the table. I see Vine grabbing some sticky stuff. 'What the f*ck is that?' I ask her.

'Wax' she replies.

She places the strokes wax on me and pulls them off. Every f*cking hair on my body is being ripped off.

I bite on my lip to reduce the pain. I taste blood, sweet blood.

Vine scrubs my body and rinses it off. I let her do whatever she wants to do.

I have to make a good impression at the sponsors, the creepy capitol people and the gamemakers who can kill me anytime they want to when I am in the arena.

I can't wait till we see the other tributes. The idea of that pathetic girl, Katniss Everdeen in the arena, or Glimmer or Marvel. This year is the Hunger Games nothing more than a comedy. But Cato and I have to stay serious and just kill everyone.

It's kill or be killed. And I want Cato to go home, okay.. maybe I have to die for that. But it's worth it.

Octavia walks in the room with my costume. It's a golden dress. I don't know what it's made of, but it looks like an armor. It reminds me of a bird. There are a kind of feathers made of gold on it. There is a matching hat, it is golden too. There are wings on both sides.

It's not the best costume I could get.. but atleast it doesn't look as weird as the costumes from the last years tributes of district 2.

Vine does my makeup. Not too much, I want to look natural and not like the capitol people. Vine makes a light black-golden smokey eye.

'You're ready' she says. 'Remember Clove; look fearless.' She winks at me. I smile and nod at her.

I walk back to the bigger room to see if Cato is ready too.

Cato sits on a chair, waiting on me. He has almost the same costume as me. Cato and I thank the stylists and walk back to the living room.

'This is going to be our show' He says.

'Yeah.. We're golden' I reply.

I open the door of our apartment. 'Wow look at you!' Enobaria says excited. 'you two look beautiful'. 'You can go to the chariots now' Brutus says 'Okay' Cato responds. We walk towards the door. 'Oh Clove.. don't forget about what I told you' Enobaria says quietly and looks me right in the eyes. I nod and walk away with Cato.

I want to tell Cato about this careers-cant-love thing .. but I can't.

'Clove.. where are the chariots?' Cato asks me. 'Uh.. I don't know' I answer. 'We'll find it' We walk to the elevator and press the button.

'What did Enobaria told you?' He says.

I answer 'Nothing important.'

Cato rolls his eyes 'If it wasn't important, then why don't you want to tell me?'.

We walk inside the elevator and go down to the ground. If I tell him, I have to tell the whole story. I don't want an argue with him.

I poke him 'I'll tell you another time okay?' 'okay.'

The elevator stops at floor 1, and opens its doors. Two tributes walk in, well tributes? '_I'll rather name them peacocks. What the f*ck are they wearing!?'_ I think.

'You two must be the tributes of district 2?' the boy asks us.

'yeah' Cato replies.

'I'm Marvel' he says.

'I'm Glimmer' the girl says. The I don't like way she looks at Cato.

'I'm Clove' I tell them.

'I'm C-' I interrupt Cato 'Mine.

''Huh?' he responds.

'You're mine.' I say. Cato grins.

'_That girl Glimmer.. I just know her for a minute now and she reminds me so much of Noa. Just that way she looked at Cato. He's mine! But in front of the camera's I'll never be able to tell that.' _I'm so confused.

The doors open and we walk out of the elevator.

'Do you guys know where the chariots are?' Cato asks them.

'Yeah they're outside' Marvel replies.

We walk outside and see 12 chariots with horses. Cato and I walk to the second one. I take a look at all the other tributes costumes. They're ridiculous.

'Cato' I whisper. 'Yeah?' he answers quietly. 'look at them' I point at the district 12' tributes.

Cato looks at them. Katniss turns her head, I see the fear in her face as she notices that Cato was watching them.

I smirk 'this is going to be our show'

I hear the anthem of Panem coming out of the speakers. A voice says 'District 1, go'. The peacocks step on their chariot and the horses start walking. I hear the Capitol people cheer as they see them.

'District 2, go'. Cato and I step on the chariot. I'm afraid of falling from the chariot. The horses are walking and I see all the people.

I look at the big screen, Cato and I look fearless.. just like Vine has told me to. The people cheer louder, and they throw roses at us. .

The horses trot to the square, where president Snow will welcome us. Cato grabs my hand, but we don't show it.

The last chariot starts, and the crowd explodes.

I look at the big screen and see Katniss and Peeta, on **fire**. They're stealing our show! My blood starts boiling. This can't be true! I F*CKING HATE FIRE!

I look at Cato and see his eyes full with anger. He squeezes my hand.

'Cato stop' I whisper. He just looks at the screen.

'P-Please, it hurts.' He loose his grip'Sorry' he whispers.

'I hope they burn to death' I say quietly.

The chariots stop in front of the balcony of president Snow. He stands up and walks to the microphone.

He speaks loudly 'Tributes, we welcome you!' the crowd cheers.

'We salute the courage of your sacrifice. And we wish you Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be everin your favor' The crowd cheers even harder.

The horses pull the chariot to a 'backstage' place. I jump out of the chariot and grab some sugarcubes and feed them to the horses.

One of the horses bites in my hand. 'Stupid horse' I mumble, and look at Cato, who is staring at Katniss and Haymitch. He beckons me, and I walk towards him.

We listen to the conversation of them, about the fire.

'So brave' Haymitch says. I roll my eyes.

'Are you sure you should be near an opening flame?' Katniss tells Haymitch.

'No fire girl.. you're not funny' Cato whispers to me.

Haymitch continues 'Fake flame.. Are you sure yo-'

He stops talking as he notices that Cato is been watching them the whole time.

'Lets go upstairs' Haymitch tells fire girl.


	16. Together, or not at all

Cato grins 'Fake people make fake fire, that makes sense'.

Cato and I walk back to the elevator.

I roll my eyes 'I hate the way Caesar said that 'Now see that! I love that! Two young people, holding their hands up, saying; 'I'm proud I come from district 12. We will not be overlooked.' Now I love that!''.

'Yeah me too, they're going to be our first kill.' Cato replies.

'I mean.. who is proud to come from district f*cking 12?! It's the most pathetic district in whole f*cking Panem' I say.

We step into the elevator and press [2].

'People will see what they really are in the arena. Nothing but annoying tributes, who can't even handle a weapon' Cato tells me.

'I guess that we'll be able to see that tomorrow in training' I nod.

The doors open and we walk to our apartment. Cato smashes the door open.

'What the hell was that for?' Brutus says.

'That stupid fire girl stole our show' I reply.

'We've been preparing for these moments here our whole f*cking life. And then such an outline district sets their tributes on f*cking fire, and now everybody loves them and not us!'Cato fills in.

He was right, everybody does love them. The crowd was exploding when they were on fire.

'We saw it.' Enobaria says 'Make them pay for it in the arena, it's the only thing you can do.'

Cato and I nod. I walk to my room and put out this heavy golden dress. I grab a sweater and jeans out of the closet and put them on.

I go to the mirror and wash all my makeup from my face. I tie my hair up in a neat ponytail and walk back to the living room.

I don't want to hear Brutus or Enobaria talking about us, the chariots and district 12, so I walk on the small balcony. I hang over the railing and look down.

I can see district 1's balcony under me, but nobody's there. It's pretty cold here, but I don't want to go back.

Above me are thousands of stars. I look to the sky as someone comes to me.

'Clove what are you doing here?' Cato's voice asks me.

'I don't know' I reply. He stands next to me and stares at the stars too.

'Is all that true?' He asks me.

'What?' I look at him. He isn't angry anymore.

'What they say, that we are born to die'

I sigh 'I guess so, why?'

'Well I think my parents used me the whole time. They wanted children, to make them participate in the Hunger Games. And I was just one of them.. right?'.

I look down, I don't want him to feel bad.. but what he just said was right. 'Yeah' I say softly.

Cato is looking at me, but I avoid eye contact. I stare in front of me, to the stars.

'And that thing Enobaria told you?' He asks quietly.

I take a deep breath, I better can be honest to him. 'She told me that you and I can't be in love anymore'

'WTF' he angrily replies 'why?!'.

'Because.. because the other tributes will recognize that, they will f*ck things up. And then district 2 has no victor anymore.'

'All about that victor thing huh?' he rolls his eyes. 'Why didn't she tell me this, if WE can't be in love anymore, she should have told me this too?'

I finally understand what Enobaria is trying to do. She wants to break me. She wants to break us apart. If only I knew what was going on, I would have to break up with Cato and then we both would be broken. Broken means no feelings, which Careers don't have to show.

Careers are not meant to have feelings. And then we would be ruthless killers. Well sorry Enobaria.. I am a human being, and I do have feelings, for him.

'She wants to break us.. I'm sure.' I respond.

'We can't be broken. We are infinite'

'Cato one of us has to die in these f*cking games. And that's going to be me.'

'You're not going to die for me, silly.' He grins.

I look him in the eyes. 'I'm serious, they are not going to change their stupid rules for just 2 tributes like we are. There's only one victor, and that's you.'

Cato shakes his head. '**We'll win. Together, or not at all'**


	17. Infinite

'_This is what I was afraid of. Cato is going to be the victor. No matter what, he has to survive! It's the only thing I can do now, I have promised myself that I would help him if he needed it. He saved my life, so now I'm going to save his live. That is fair right?'_

'Why together? This is serious, they aren't going to change the rules for us.' I look down.

'I already said, they can't break us. We are infinite' He replies.

'Stop with these quotes, this ain't a place for sunshines and rainbows, beautiful quotes and f*cking unicorns. We are going into the arena! Wake up.'

Cato grins 'Why are the unicorns f*cking?'

I poke him 'Shut up' I laugh.

'By the way, infinity is till death. After that it means nothing.' I tell him.

'Well some infinities are bigger than other infinities.'

I roll my eyes 'Cato that doesn't make sense at all'

'It does make sense, you just don't see it.'

'Let's go back, I'm getting cold.' I grin, and we walk back to the living room.

Brutus and Enobaria stand there, with their arms crossed looking at us.

My eyes widen 'What?'

Enobaria shakes her head 'Talking about f*cking unicorns? Are you guys serious?!'

I can't hold my laughter and look at Cato. 'Yeah ofcourse? Don't you two talk about that like all the time?' He replies seriously.

'No more jokes.' Brutus says 'Clove it isn't that hard to keep a secret?'

Cato looks at me. My head turns slightly red.

'Wait a second? How do you know this Brutus?' I look at Enobaria 'Did 'someone' told you this? Huh?' I ask them triumphantly.

'I'm afraid that no one can keep promises here' Cato interferes himself in the conversation.

I shrug and walk to my room. Cato walks to his room, and Brutus and Enobaria are still standing there.

I softly close my door. Did they really know about this? Did they heard us? Actually I don't care.

They maybe can judge me, but I'm still living my life. Enobaria and Brutus can give me advice, but they can't tell me what to do.

It's late, and tomorrow the first training starts. I better go to sleep right now.

I put on my pyjama and lay down in the bed. It smells like capitol. I close my eyes and fall to sleep.

_I look everywhere around me. A wood. Where is Cato? _

_'CATO!' I yell. Probably not wise to scream someone in the arena. '_

_Clove?' I hear someone._

_ 'Cato!' I say out loud, but I don't know where he is. _

_'CLOVE?' The voice becomes sharper _

_'Cato?' I look around, but see no one. _

_'BEHIND YOU' It says._

_ I turn around to see whats behind me, I expect to see Cato._

_ But it's not, it's Thresh._

_ He smashes my head with something hard. _

_'CATO!' I scream at the top of my lungs._

* * *

'CATO' I scream one more time. My eyes wide open.

Cato storms through the door. 'Clove?' He sits next to me. 'What's wrong?'

'I died' I answer.

He doesn't understand me. 'What?'

'I died.. how can I die? I can't die right? We were infinite'

'Clove you're not dead.'

I shake my head 'I am.'

'Then why the f*ck are you talking to me?' he grins.

'I don't know, why can you hear me?' My eyes are still wide open, staring at the plafond.

'Clove you are not dead, silly.' He pokes in my belly. 'You feel that right?'

'Yeah.'

'Then you aren't dead.'

Do I seriously have Cato to convince me that I am not dead? It looked so realistic.

'Okay then, then it was just a dream.' I reply quietly.

'Oh, you've got nightmares?' He asks me.

'I guess so, don't you have them?'

'Nah, it's more like a dream, killing people'

I roll my eyes 'Am I a human too?'

'Yeah, but I'm not going to kill you.'

I smile a bit 'Good.'

Cato wants to stand up, but I stop him. 'You're not going anywhere' I grin.

'And why not?'

'I don't want to die again.'

He laughs 'Okay fine.' He lies next to me.

I lay my head on his chest. 'I love you' I say.

'These words aren't meant to be said in district 2'

'We aren't in district 2 anymore. We are in the Capitol.'

'Okay, then I love you too' he grins. 

I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	18. First day of training

I open my eyes and see that Cato is still sleeping.

_'What time is it? Do I already have to get up? Is training already started?'_ I turn my head to the right to see the time. [9:30]

'F*ck' I mumble. Training starts at 10.

I sit up and look straight to Enobaria and Brutus, who are standing in my room.

'What are you doing here!' I whisper to them

'What are you two doing?!' Enobaria says.

'Just sleeping' I roll with my eyes.

'What about you?'

'Well training starts in a half hour! We wanted to wake you two up, but then there was no one in Cato's room.'

'What is your problem? Just tell me. What is wrong with Cato and me being together?' I hiss

Cato rolls over, but keeps his eyes closed, pretending he is sleeping

'SHUT UP' He yells at Enobaria and Brutus 'LET ME SLEEP'.

I giggle. 'Well tell me? What's wrong with that?'

'Look Clove, love can ruin your performance in the Arena.'

'So it's all about the performance huh? Well let me tell you, I am going to die anyways.'

'In that case you shouldn't hinder Cato.'

I stare startled at them, were they serious? Do I hinder Cato? Maybe I do. Maybe.. maybe they were right. Brutus and Enobaria walk out of the room.

I get up. 'Cato wake up' I yell '25 minutes left till training'.

Cato rolls out of the bed, without saying anything he walks to his room, and changes his clothes.

I walk to the bathroom, brush my teeth and make a neat ponytail in my hair.

I put on the training clothes, a black/grey/red t-shirt and black sweatpants.

I walk into the living room, grab a sandwich. I sit down on the sofa and eat it.

'_What if they were right?'_ I think. I don't even want to think about this.

Cato sits beside me. 'So we're going to 'meet' the other tributes in 15 minutes right?'

I nod 'I guess so.'

'_Clove.. just focus on what you're doing here. Show them all what you've got. You are better than them. If I don't win I die. If Cato doesn't win I die too. I will die, just face it. But just give them a good show. I don't want to be the shame of the district. I am just a Career, a trained entertainer. And they're going to get their f*cking show'_ I think.

'Clove I'll talk to you after the training okay? Only us two' Enobaria says to me.

I nod 'Okay'

I stand up and walk to the door. 'bye!' I say, and walk in the hall, on my way to the elevator.

'Clove wait' I hear Cato yell.

But I'm not paying attention to that. I just wait for the elevator as he steps next to me.

'Make sure they get scared' I say to him, avoiding any eye contact.

We step into the elevator and Cato presses the [-1] button. 'Why scared?' He asks me.

'Then you're the one who is going to be feared in the Arena'

He grins 'okay'

We walk inside the training hall. Only a few tributes are there. Me and Cato are sitting down on a bench and wait for the trainers to come.

Glimmer and Marvel walk in. 'Heeyyy' Glimmer says to Cato.

'Oh hey' He responds.

Marvel rolls his eyes. I feel bad for him, he's in the same district as that pathetic girl.

Portia calls everyone to come, and she begins telling the rules and tips. 'In two weeks, twenty three of you will be dead, one of you will be alive. Who that is depends on how well you pay attention over the next days. Particularly to what I'm about to say. First; no fighting with the other tributes, you'll have plenty of time for that at the arena.'

Cato grins, but Portia ignores that and continues talking 'There are four compulsory exercises, the rest will be individual training. My advice is don't ignore the survival skills. Everybody wants to grab a sword, but most of you will die from natural causes, ten percent from infection, twenty percent from dehydration. Exposure can kill as easily as a knife.''

'Okay, go ahead. Start the training!' She yells.

I see Marvel walking to the spearing section, Cato walks towards the swords section. Some other tributes are climbing.

I roll my eyes, who the hell is going into the games, and goes climbing?! A girl, who really looks like a fox is playing memory?

I still wait, I don't know on what I'm waiting. But I just stand there doing nothing. I have trained all my life, these days don't matter.

Marvel walks to me. 'What are you doing?' '

It seems like I'm doing nothing..' He wants to say something, but we've been cut off by some fighting sounds

I look at the point where the noise is coming from and see Cato fighting with another boy.

'Where's my knife?' I hear Cato saying.

Almost everyone stops with their training and watch them.

'I.. I don't know where your knife is' The boy replies startled.

'I swear I put my knife right there!' Cato yells. I see the anger coming up.

'Shouldn't we do something?' Marvel asks me.

'Nah, we'll be dead if we do' I respond. But Marvel has a point, we should do something.

'YOU TOOK MY KNIFE' his voice echoes through the hall. Cato pushes the boy on the ground and grabs the nearest sword he can get.

He holds it against the throat of the kid. 'I could kill you right now'

A pathetic girl, probably from the knife-stealer boy's district is screaming 'DON'T! GET OFF HIM!'

She doesn't do anything herself. She just stands there. Just like we do. I see some peacekeepers walking up.

'SHIT!' I mumble. Peacekeepers will kill anyone, who kills another person. No exceptions in the hunger games centre.

I take a deep breath. And run towards Cato.

Marvel grabs my arm 'What are you doing? You said you'll get killed'

I free myself out of his grip and push Cato off the boy.. just in case that the peacekeeper doesn't have to do that.

Cato doesn't recognize me. He pushes me away and I feel my body being smashed against a wall.

Everything is fading away from me. I only see some white silhouettes fighting with Cato.

I hear Marvel next to me 'Are you okay?'

'Kind of' I reply.

'What are these white things?' I point at the silhouettes.

'Peacekeepers' he replies.

My eyes widen as I remind myself that peacekeepers would kill anyone. 'Get them off him!' I tell him.

'That is going to be my death I guess'

I try to get myself up and waddle to the white silhouettes and try to push them away from Cato. I can't do more than a soft nudge.

The peacekeepers push me away, and I fall down, again!

Everything goes dark and I only hear people talking, and feel my pain. I don't even know where I lay right now.

I'm ashamed of myself, of what I've been doing today. I should have made a good impression. But now everyone sees me as that girl who fell down.

Someone picks me up. I want to know who it is.

I slowly move my hand to it's head. '_Please don't be a helmet.'_ I think. _'I don't want to be carried by a peacekeeper'_

* * *

**Please don't forget to do a review :) It means a lot! **


	19. 13th floor

I softly touch the hair, I recognize it immediately, it's Cato.

'Why did you pushed me?' I ask him quietly.

'I.. I'm sorry' He replies 'I didn't know it was you.'

'Oh okay'

'Are you okay?' he asks me.

'Well, I can't see anything'

'You're bleeding..'

'Really?' I didn't know that I was bleeding. I barely can feel anything. My head feels so heavy.

'Where are we going to?' I ask him

'Capitols doctor. Floor 13, one of the trainers said I should bring you'

'hmm okay. But I don't want any medicine. Chemical sh*t'

'You'll become a radioactive monster' He laughs

'Maybe worse.. I could be a radioactive Capitol monster!'

'_If the trainer didn't said that Cato had to bring me, would he still do it?'_ I think. Even thinking is hard now.

'I feel so ashamed. Enobaria said that I had to make a good impression. Now everyone recognizes me as the girl who passed out' '

Then you can surprise them in the arena right?'

'Maybe..' I nod.

'You're like a secret weapon'

'I'm not a thing Cato.' I grin. My sight turns back, but everything is still blurred.

I'm breathing in the chemicals. This must be the capitols doctor's place. Cato puts me down on a chair.

'What happened?' The man asks. I don't know how he really looks like. But all I see is a clown-type man. With bright red hair and a red nose? It's scary.

'Well I fell once, and then a peacekeeper pushed me and I passed out.' I answer. I didn't want to blame Cato.

'Why did a peacekeeper push you?' The doctor says to me.

'That doesn't matter, It just happened.' Cato doesn't say anything.

'Well okay.. tell me later'

'She doesn't want to tell you, that isn't too hard to understand' Cato finally says. I nod.

'Hmm.. let's make a X-Ray' The doctor says. 'Can you please go away?' he says to Cato and points at the door 'there's too much radiation'.

'Nah, I'm staying' Cato says nonchalant.

'No you leave.'. Cato rolls his eyes and walks towards the door.

'Bye' I say.

'Stay strong' he grins, and walks out of the room.

'Okay you can come over here' The doctor says as he walks to a little room.

I try to get up and slowly follow him. I'm dizzy, but the doctor won't help me I guess.

' Okay lay down' He knocks on a table.

I roll my eyes and lay down on the table, it scares me that I do this all without protesting, but maybe my head doesn't want to protest, it's too hard to argue right now.

I stare at the ceiling while a red light scans me.

'Done' He mutters.

'That's quick' I reply sarcastically.

It doesn't surprise me at all, of course it is fast. It's Capitol technology. Well actually it's from district 3.. but the Capitol changes things.

'Come over here and take a look' He beckons me. I slowly get up and walk to his computer. '

You see this?' The man points at something at the screen.

'No.' I roll my eyes.

'huh?' He responds amazed.

'I barely can see okay?' '

Oh, well I think this is a mild concussion'

'hmm okay.. so?'

'Well you can't train the next days. You have to be fit in the arena, we can't take the risk that a tribute goes into the arena while it's not healthy.'

'Oh, I have a mild concussion and have now days off. But after that you guys are going to kill me in the arena? That does make sense' I smile sarcastically at him.

He rolls his eyes 'You are going to stay here'

'Where?'

'Here, 13th floor'

'Can't I go to the 2nd floor? With Cato and my mentors? I don't want to be all alone here.'

'No that's too noisy and you can't take that right now. Every evening someone can visit you, but not for long'.

I want to protest more, but I don't. It's no use.

The man leads me into a small room, with a hospital bed, a sofa and a small TV, a bathroom and a small balcony. The doctor shuts the door and locks it.

'_Great, now you're locked in a Capitol room. Good job Clove, really amazing'_ I say to myself.

I lay down on the sofa. I notice a IPad typical thing. I grab it and turn it on.

* * *

***District?*** it asks me. I type in 'District 2'

*** Makes connection *** What have I done? Huh?

* **Chats available (0) ***

Oh I get it, it's a chat-thing?! It allows me to talk to people of my 'team'.

'_What if I sneak in another district?_' I think and grin. '_Do all the districts have such a chat machine thing?'_

I turn it off and restart it.

***District?* ** 'District 1' I type in.

It makes connection, and I look around.

***Chats available (1)* **Hey I can talk to someone. I smile. I feel alone here.

* * *

**You: Uh hey? Who am I talking to?**

**_Marvellous: Me.**

I laugh at his name.

**You: How did you get that stupid username?**

**_Marvellous: I don't know, it just thinks I am marvellous (:**

**You : Aha that makes sense.**

**_Marvellous: Where are you right now? **

**You: 13****th**** floor, in a room. I don't know actually which room it is.**

**_Marvellous: Oh, I didn't know there was a 13****th**** floor.**

**You: Just as secret as district 13 ;)**

**You: So what are you doing?**

**_Marvellous: Eating in my room. Jealous? **

**You: Not at all, at least I don't have such an annoying district partner ^^**

**_Marvellous: Oh, so a district partner who smashes you against a wall is good?**

**You: It's better than you think it is..**

**_Marvellous: Do you've got some visiting time?**

**You: Yeah I guess so, in the evening.**

**_Marvellous: I'll talk to you later. Gotta train again.**

**You: okay bye.**

**_Marvellous: Byeee.**

* * *

I turn out the chat thing. At least Marvel thought about me. Why wasn't Cato talking to me? I lay it on the small table and close my eyes.

'_Okay, You can't make an impression at the other tributes. I can't train. But as Cato said, I can be a secret weapon. But what the hell am I going to do till the last day of training? I guess I'll sit here the whole time.' _I lay down my head and take a nap.


	20. Rebound

I wake up by the noise of someone knocking on the door. 'Who is there?' I yell, but the person doesn't respond.

I look around, my sight is so much better now. My head still hurts, but I'll get over that.

I waddle to the door and open it. It's a red-haired Avox, of course she didn't say something back..

The Avox gives me a plate, with my dinner and a drink. There's a little paper who says 'If you need something, press the red button on the wall'.

She can't talk to me, that's why she tells me this with a paper.

'Thank you.' I smile at her. She nods and walks away as I close the door.

'Finally food!' I mumble It's stew with chicken. I sit down on the sofa and eat it. It's pretty good.

I take a sip from my drink as I hear a sound coming out of the Chat-thing. I seriously don't know if this has a name

. I lay my plate down on the table and grab it.

**(2) New message(s).**

I tap on the screen to see who's message it is. I smile as I see from who it is.

* * *

**Cato: what is this thing? **

**Cato: Oh hey Clove.**

**You: Hi (:**

**Cato: What are you doing up there?**

**You: I'm eating.. what about you?**

**Cato: Not much. What did the doctor say? **

**You: I have a 'mild concussion' -.- I can't train now.**

**Cato: Oh.. sorry.**

**You: it's okay..**

**Cato: …**

**Cato: Where are you? Still 13****th**** floor?**

**You: Yeah, in a small room. **

**Cato: Can I visit you?**

**You: I don't know, he said that I can have a visitor in the evening. So yeah?**

**Cato: On my wayyy.**

**You: Cato you don't even know in which room I am. Silly -.-**

**You: On your way huh?**

**You: Cato go back. The door is locked and I can't open it.**

* * *

I hear some knocking on the door. 'Cato?' I say

'Oh here it is! I've been knocking on every door.'

I roll my eyes 'Yeah well, I can't open the door.' '

Why not?' he asks

'It's locked.' '

Can I kick it?' he laughs.

I step a few steps back 'Go ahead..'

I see the door falling in front of me. An alarm goes off.

'f*ck' Cato mutters.

I try to run towards him, but it more looks like a quick waddle which makes him laugh.

I hug him and look over his shoulder. I see two peacekeepers running to my room.

'Sh*t peacekeepers' I whisper.

The two peacekeepers walk in my room, they keep gunpoint at us. 'Who and why did that' One of them says while pointing at the broken door at the ground.

'Me' Cato sounds fearless. Maybe he is just fearless..

'Well your Capitol people should have let the door open.' I smile sarcastically 'he just wanted to visit me'.

'Hands up' He still points at us with his gun.

I slowly put my hands in the air, but Cato refuses to do this. 'I'm not a criminal. I don't have killed anyone.. well not yet. You don't have the right to shoot, so you better take your goddamn gunpoint off me.'

'Not yet?' One of the peacekeepers repeats.

'Yeah? You're going to put me into a Game right? Where I have to kill people? Remember?'

I laugh quietly, not the best moment for this. But I just can't hold it, this is so typical Cato.

The Peacekeeper slowly puts down his hands and so do I.

'Just ask someone to fix this door and no one will be talking about this, understand?' Cato grins. The Peacekeepers walk away.

'Did they just listen to you?' I laugh.

'Everyone does' Cato says as serious possible.

'Nah I don't'

'You better do, before I kill you.' he grins.

'Oh now you are going to kill me?' I say. 'Go ahead.'

'The peacekeepers will kill me if I do that.' He replies 'Just wait till the arena'.

'Stop teasing me.'

'Never.'

'Well.. welcome in my little home?!' I say confused. Cato looks around.

I sit down on the sofa and Cato hops beside me. A jolt of pain is shooting through my head. I bite on my lip to reduce it.

'What's wrong?' Cato asks me

'Just my head.' I respond.

'Oh, sorry'

'So how was training?' I ask.

'Just like training, nothing much happened after you fell down'

'hmm okay, did you already made an alliance with the other careers?'

'Not yet. I'll wait for you to be there too.'

'Good' I smile. 'I can train the 4th day, well I have to, for the scores'

'And the interviews' he fills in.

'yeah' I respond.

The two peacekeepers walk back into my room. They're going to fix my door. 'Hey you.. leave!' They say to Cato.

'Why does he have to leave?' I respond.

'Because we say so.'

'Can I go with him?' I ask them 'Too much noise here.. that's not good for my head'

'NO.' They say.

'Well I'll text you.' Cato says as he leaves the room.

'Okay.'

The sound of peacekeepers fixing the door is so annoying. I walk on the small balcony. There's less noise.

I find a small pebble stone and grab it. I look below me, there are capitol people walking.. shall I… Well, nobody is going to kill me for that.

I let the pebble stone fall and wait till it reach someone's head. I smile by the idea of hurting a Capitol human thing.

But it doesn't reach someone. Below the balcony of district 1 it reaches a force field and rebounds.

'_What? How did they do that? Sh*t I wanted to hit someone. Why did they make a fo-'_ I cut off my own thinking _'In case of someone would jump. In case of someone committing suicide. They would die anyway. Outline districts have high numbers, so their floors are high. I totally get it.'_

What If I would jump? Was I going to rebound too? I want to try, but I don't.

What should the other districts think as they look out of the window and see a tribute falling.. that's crazy! Why am I thinking about this?! Guess I'm crazy too.

* * *

_**Don******__'t_ forget to review! x


	21. Dream

I notice that the peacekeepers are gone and the door functions as a door again. I walk back inside and sit down on the sofa. I grab the Chat-Thing to check my messages.

**(2) New messages. **I touch the screen to see them. But they aren't from Cato..

**_Marvellous: Hey Clove**

**_Marvellous: Did you heard that sound too?**

**You: What sound? **

**_Marvellous: A buzz. I looked out of the window and saw a flash.**

**You: Hmm.. I didn't hear anything.**

That must have been my pebble stone. I'm sure!

**_Marvellous: Okay**

**You: Can you go to your balcony? To check it again.**

**_Marvellous: Sure.**

I waddle to the balcony and grab another pebble stone. I let it fall, just like I did before. Again, it returns. I can see Marvel from here. 'HEY MARVELLOUS.' I yell. He looks up 'HEY!' He waves. I walk back inside to the Chat-Thing.

**You: And?**

**_Marvellous: Yeah same sound.**

**You: I know what it was .**

**_Marvellous: What?**

**You: A pebble stone.**

**You: I threw it.**

**_Marvellous: Why did you threw a pebble stone from your balcony?**

**You: I wanted to hit Capitol people.**

**_Marvellous: Hahaha**

**You: I'm out. Gonna sleep.**

**_Marvellous: Kay bye**

**You: Bye**

I look a last time at Cato's chat. But there is no new message, he was going to text me. But he didn't.

I walk to the closet and grab a purple pyjama. I lay down on the bed. My head still feels so heavy.

I lay my head down and close my eyes as I drift off to a deep sleep.

_I open my eyes, take a look around me. Woods, I almost recognize everything here. I walk quietly between all the trees. I am like a puzzle, but I don't feel complete. There is a piece missing and I don't know where it is. I don't know where Cato is. He is that one little piece. But that one piece does finishes the whole puzzle of my life. But it's lost. And I have to find it._

'_CATO?' I yell 'CATO?!' I finally see him walking. Why didn't he say something back? _

_I run towards him. 'Cato?' Again no reaction. _

_'CATO?' I swing my hand in front of him, but it is no use. '_

_Can't you hear me?' I say. 'Can anybody even hear me?!'_

_I run to the cornucopia. Suddenly Cato and Glimmer come out of the woods and hug each other. They just did what? 'CATO!?' I scream. _

_But nobody seems to hear me. 'CAN'T YOU F*CKING HEAR ME?' I yell to him. 'I'VE GOT A LOT THAT'S ON MY MIND RIGHT NOW.' _

_But I still don't think that he can hear me. Then I realise that I'm not breathing. Normally I don't think about breathing. But I do know now that I'm not breathing. _

_Am I… am I dead? 'Cato? I can't breathe. Can you hear it too?' I ask him. But no response is coming. And I don't ever think that it will come. _

_I am already dead. The last piece is taken away from me. And a puzzle can't be finished without that one piece. I am dead. Dead is forever. _

_'Cato just try to hear my voice?' I say. Then I realise that he can leave. Leave me. Suddenly it's his choice. Maybe love is just a game to him. And I am just another piece._

_ 'Come with me? We can run away. Run away from life?' I ask him. But I realise that I am the one who died. He said that he would protect me, but he didn't. _

I open my eyes and breathe heavily. 'CATO?!' I scream. But this time there is no one to come and make me feel comfortable.

'I.. I can breathe.' I mumble. Not that anyone is going to hear me.

I'm all alone. And no one is going to save me if I'm going to die, not even Cato.

'_It was just a dream Clove.. just another stupid dream, or more like a nightmare. Where you get killed inside and outside.' _I think.

_Because suddenly there is no one who is going to save you. I am going to die, We all die. There's nothing you can do about it. It is going to happen. _

_But when am I officially dead? When my heart stops beating? Or just when I am that unfinished puzzle? When there's a part of me missing, my heart ripped out. Well everyone has a missing piece. Just like Cato said 'Nobody dies as a virgin, life fucks everyone.' But I just can't afford to think like that. _

I walk slowly to my living room. I'm starving. Where is the food? Can I order food?

The Avox said that there was a.. a red button. Why red? '_Red is bad, except Blood. Blood is good!'_ I remember my dad's quote.

But why always the red button? I don't know. I just press it. Before I know it there's someone knocking on the door. I walk towards the door, and open it.

The red haired Avox is standing in front of me. 'Can I have breakfast?' I say to her. She shakes her head.

'Well.. can I have lunch?' she still shakes her head.

'Dinner?' I ask. She nods. Is it already evening? Wow how long was I asleep?

'Okay thanks.' The Avox walks away and I close the door.

I grab the Chat-Thing to see what time it is. [**19:42] **

**(6) New message(s). **What? What did I miss? Huh? I tap the screen.

* * *

**Cato: Hey.**

**Cato: Clove?**

**Cato: Still asleep?**

**Cato: -.-**

**You: Hey, sorry. I don't know how long I was sleeping..**

* * *

**_Marvellous: Clove you've been sleeping like a day now.**

**_Marvellous: Are you going to wake up, or sleep forever?**

What?! A day? Was I asleep for a day?!

**You: What?! A day? So it's the 3th day now?**

**_Marvellous: Uh yeah. You've missed a lot.**

**You: Tell me.**

**_Marvellous: Nah you'll figure out tomorrow.**

**You: What happened?**

**_Marvellous: I can't tell you now. Can I visit you this evening?**

**You: If Cato isn't coming, that's okay.**

**_Marvellous: Okay, gotta eat now. See you later.**

**You: Okay bye.**

* * *

The Avox knocks on the door. I walk towards it and open the door. She gives me my dinner plate. 'Thanks' I say. She nods and walks away.

I close the door, I feel sorry for her. She can't talk. The Capitol has cut off her tongue..

I sit down and eat my dinner. The time has flown away. Tomorrow I have to train again.

My head doesn't hurt like before. I am happy that it is already the 3th day, now I don't have to be bored all day.

I just have to figure out tomorrow what happened, it can't be that worse right?


	22. Flashback

I lay my empty plate on the table. I'm still hungry, I haven't eaten for 2 days. I was asleep the whole time.

I walk to the bathroom, I look terrible. Maybe a quick shower will wake me up better.

'Red button.. red button where are you?' I mumble. I press the red button and drop my clothes on the floor.

I take a stand under the warm water of the shower.

There's a weird feeling in my chest. It's like pushing my ribs, and at the same time it wants to rip my heart out. I seriously don't know what it is.. maybe I have an heart attack? No I can't have an heart attack, and if I have one, who cares.

I'm going to die anyways. What difference does it make if it is tomorrow, or in 80 years? I can't stop it. Life is a deadly disease.

It's going to happen someday, why not now? What will happen if my heart stops beating?

I press the green button and hold my breath as I'm being covered by the green slimy substance. I touch the red button again, to rinse it off.

I don't want to be a green capitol monster for the rest of my life. I don't know how long that will be, but I am going to die as myself.

I don't care anymore about what Enobaria, Brutus or anybody said. I love Cato, and no one is going to keep me from that.

I am dying as myself, I can't be someone else right?

I push the red button again to stop the water what flows out of the shower. I grab a towel and dry myself.

Pretty refreshing, but how can I refresh my mind? What's going on in there. I can't refresh that.

Things what happened are happened. There's no way to turn back.

I lay down on the sofa. I stare at the ceiling. Things what happened, what happened?

I close my eyes. Trying to get a flashback. I have forgotten almost everything since I fell down.

* * *

_I look around myself. I see my house, and a girl playing with my little baby sister. This is weird when I realise that that girl, is me! _

_My dad and mom are walking towards her and my sister. My dad places a hand on her shoulder. 'Ready for school?' My mom asks. Clove nods and grabs her little backpack. She hobbles out of the house and runs to school. _

_Everything is so quietly, but relaxing. The birds who sing, the sun who is shining bright. My childhood was perfect. I had a great family. _

_I see the kids who are used to be my friends. The girl, who is me, talks to them. When the teacher arrives I see myself staring out of the window. _

_Everything what was colourful is now grey. The sun is still shining, but in my perspective there are a huge pack of clouds in front of it. _

_When the lessons are over I see the girl running towards home. Everything is still grey. _

_The little girl walks over the square in front of the town hall. The place where the Reaping's are every year. Behind the town hall is a building, completely collapsed. _

_The girl walks towards it. I see the tears coming in her eyes as she noticed that her mom, lays there under the collapsed building. 'Mommy?' She mumbles while she looks down at the hollow body. 'Mommy where are you?' She looks around herself. _

_She can't find her mom anywhere, but she does notices her father. He lays underneath the collapsed building too. _

_'Daddy?' She asks him. _

_'Clove, you'll always be m-' He coughs blood 'my little victor' His eyes close. His last words are spoken. A river of tears are streaming out of the girl her eyes._

_The world around the girl, or me.. is still grey. Except my little sister Alyssa. She is coloured. Alyssa is the sunshine of my house. _

_Flames, I see flames and smoke everywhere. I remember this part._

_ Alyssa standing in the bathroom. She's screaming helpless. A man named Alex won't help her. I see me running towards Cato's house. _

_She knocks on his door and grabs his arm. The girl runs back home. The whole attic is burned down. Cato kicks in the door and before I notice it we're in the garden. The girl cries. She wants to help her little sister, but she can't. Cato pushed me away and everything went dark._

'_You will always be my little victor''_

* * *

I open my eyes. My whole pillow is drowned by my tears. I was born as a victor. I am raised as a victor. And I will always be a victor.


	23. Disappointed

Maybe my dad was right, maybe I don't have to win these Hunger Games to be a victor. I still can't believe that I've lost everyone. But life continues.

I have to focus on the games. It's like I'm being split up in two parts.

The first part of me is me, who doesn't care about dying. I'll finally figure out where Alyssa, my mom and dad are. My last job on this planet is to make sure that Cato wins.

The second part is more a Career-thinking part of me. I have trained my whole life for these games. Now I have to make sure that I am going to shine. I am going to kill everyone, not going to die. At least not yet..

The first part is taking over my mind. I stare out of the window. It's getting dark.

I hear someone knocking at the door. 'Yeah?' I yell. '

It's me, open the door' someone says.

'Who is me?' I ask.

' You are you?' I hear from behind the door. I grin, and open it.

It's Marvel. 'Wow your place is small, but marvellous' he says. I laugh quietly.

'Tell me what happened?' I ask him.

'Nah, why do you want to know it so badly?'

'I just have to know okay. What is it about?'

'I'm not going to tell you!' he rolls his eyes.

'Well just give me a hint'.

'It's about Glimmer..'

'hmm.. not interested.' I tell him.

' And Cato.' He fills in his sentence.

My eyes widen 'What?'

'It's about Glimmer and Cato' He repeats.

'Yeah.. what's with them?' I ask.

'Clove I can't tell you this.'

'Why not?! We are in the arena in 3 days remember? There is no better time to tell this!'

'Ugh okay.. Well they are together the whole time and I just stand there like 'wtf''

'_Clove remember, you and Cato are not in love. Nobody is going to know about this. Just shut your f*cking mouth'_- a voice in my head says, but I ignore it.

'They're doing what?' I ask.

'Well nothing much, but Glimmer is like flirting the whole time and that annoys me'

'Doesn't it annoy Cato?' My heart beats fast.

'Nah not really'. I look down. It's back, that weird feeling in my chest. It's pushing my ribs back, and ripping my heart out.

But finally I can place this feeling. It's jealousy.

'If you could, would you kill Glimmer?' He says.

'Without thinking, she and fire girl are going to be my first targets' probably not wise to say this to her district partner..

He nods. 'Would you kill Cato, if you had the chance to?' I ask him.

'Of course I would'. Okay now that's clear, Marvel is on the list too.

'So are you going to train for the scores tomorrow?'

'Yeah I have to.'

'Good. I haven't seen you at training.. what is your weapon'

'Not going to tell you. I am the secret weapon myself' I stick my tongue out.

'Oh yeah, I forgot. We've told the tributes from district 4 that they're not in the Careergroup. They were freaking out' Marvel grins.

'Good.. they were worth nothing.' I respond.

'Hey but I have to go.. it's late' he says as he walks to the door.

'Okay, see you tomorrow.' I wave.

The door shut. I walk to the small balcony and take a look at the stars. I have to shine, just like them.

I hear a familiar voice talking, and then an annoying giggle. Its Glimmers' giggle. I roll my eyes.

And.. and it's Cato's voice.

I'm disappointed, and the feeling in my chest returns. I don't know how. But they are going to pay for this. Even Cato, I don't care about my promises, I can't let him do this.

Enobaria was right, of course she was right. She has been through a lot. I should respect that. I want to say sorry.. Love ruins everything, and someone who is letting me fall so hard, replacing me while I'm injured, doesn't deserve to win.

I walk back inside and lay down in my bed. I don't want to put on a pyjama.

_I am going to make them pay for this, I only don't know how and when. But Cato doesn't deserve to win these games. I have always been a victor. I am going to win. I am going to win the Hunger Games._

I stare at the ceiling, the dissapointment in me burns. I try to get my feelings straight. I'm going to count them. I can't sleep like this.

'_Okay, I am disappointed, because of Cato is replacing me for Glimmer. I am mad, same reason. I am.. I am jealous. I've never felt like this before. But I am the one locked in a room on the 13'th floor. Glimmer is free to go, a bit too free. She's stealing my boyfriend. She is going to die, my first target. Fire girl is second.'_

I close my eyes and drift off to a dreamless, restless and light sleep.


	24. Burn

The annoying ring of the alarm clock wakes me up. I slowly open my eyes and slam the clock.

Today is the score training day, and the interviews are this evening. Tomorrow I go into the arena and kill everyone.

I shouldn't care about their feelings, people have hurt me enough and they don't give a f*ck about me, so why should I?

I get up. I have an hour left till the training begins. I'm not in the mood for a quick shower and think about life again.

I don't want to think about anything. I just go eat my breakfast, yeah that is what I'm going to do.

I walk towards the red button and press it, in no time there is an Avox knocking on my door. 'Can I have breakfast?' I ask her.

She nods, and walks away to order my food. I close the door.

I'm just going to pretend that I don't have any feelings. I'm burning on the inside, but no one has to know that. I'm just acting that I'm fine.

The Avox knocks again, and handles me a bowl with cornflakes and fresh fruit. 'Thanks' I nod, and close the door.

I sit down on the sofa and eat it. Couldn't the Capitol people think of a more unusual breakfast? This isn't really Capitolish.

Well it doesn't matter, I just eat it.

I put my walk to the wardrobe and grab the training clothes. I put them on.

I find a candle in the closet. Who the hell is leaving a candle in the closet? I grab the candle, now I need a lighter. Can I find a lighter?

I walk towards the bathroom, underneath the sink is a cabinet. I pull the drawer open and search for a lighter.

I find mascara, well I've got time enough. I put on a little layer of mascara and drop it in the drawer.

I finally find a lighter. I roll my thumb over the lighter and see the flames.

'_Fire.._ _flames, smo-' _No don't think like this. _'Fire! Fire girl, district 12. I have to set them on fire. I want to see them burn to death.'_

I grab a small knife I've kept from last dinner and cut 'BURN' in the candle.

I hold the fire from the lighter against the wick of the candle.

I see the flames, I don't think about my sister who burned down. All I see is revenge and hate.

I walk on my little balcony and call Katniss' name. It surprised me that she came. I look down and see her looking around herself.

I throw the burning candle in front of her.

'Surprise! I can be a stylist now, can't I? I can set people on fire too. Watch yourself burn' I say sarcastically.

Katniss screams as she sees that her pants are catching fire. The boy, Peeta is walking on the balcony too as he hears her screaming.

He looks above himself and sees me. I fake a smile 'Oops. My bad. Did I set your district partner on fire? Well I'm so, so sorry.'

He's mad, but scared. I like that look in his eyes. I have to be the one to be feared in the arena.

I walk away from the balcony and walk to the door. Ready for training. I'm going to get a high score.

Trained my whole life for this, now I have to show them what I've got. I find a key, from the door.

I don't know why but I'll keep this. I put the key in my pocket, and close the door. I walk quickly to the elevator. This would become really awkward if I meet Katniss and Peeta in the elevator.

I step in the elevator and press [-1]. It goes down.

When the doors open I see almost all the tributes standing in the training centre. Maybe for them I am the newcomer, because they've all trained the last days and I haven't . I ignore all the faces and walk towards Cato, Marvel and Glimmer.

'Welcome back' Marvel says. I look at Cato, who surprisingly doesn't say anything.

'Okay tributes!' Portia yells and points at a small room 'Everyone wait in that room, till your name is being called. Then you walk inside the training area, and show the game makers and sponsors what you have learned.'

We all walk to that tiny room, on both sides there are benches. I sit between Cato and Marvel, thanks god I don't sit next to Glimmer. I would have killed her.

'Nervous?' Cato says to me. Wow, now you do speak to me huh?

'Nah, why should I?' I simply respond.

'Maybe because you had days off.' He rolls his eyes.

'Cato, I have trained my whole life for this and you know that. I don't have any reason to be nervous, and so don't you.' I mutter.

I'm still mad, and I have the right to be.

'Does your head feel better know?' Marvel asks me.

'Yeah' I reply.

Glimmer's name is the first one who is spoken from the speakers. She walks through the door.

I take a deep sigh so it's for everyone to notice that I am happy that she's gone. I'm glad that she hasn't said anything, I would have attacked her if I heard her annoying voice.

Katniss and Peeta are walking in the room, they sit down on the bench in front of me.

Cato and I stare at them the whole time, just to make them feel awkward.

Peeta tries to get his sh*t together and asks me 'Why did you throw the candle?'.

Cato looks at me misunderstood 'which candle?' he whispers.

'Oh I wanted to be a stylist. I can set you on fire too, 'sweetheart'.' I say sarcastically. Yesterday I noticed that their mentor called her 'sweetheart'.

Peeta rolls his eyes 'You're not going to burn her.'

'Why can't I do that? If I win this sh*t, and I have to be anyone's mentor. I have to know a bit of the stylist stuff, don't you think so? So I was just trying to make you shine, sweetheart'.

'Marvel' sounds out of the speakers. He stands up and walks through the door. I notice that every other tribute is listening to our conversation.

'You're like a safety match, you are on fire, it shines only once. And when it's finally extinguished, it's worth nothing.' Cato grins.

Peeta and fire girl are looking offended.

'Clove' I hear my name coming out of the speakers. I stand up

'Good luck, Clove' Cato says. I just nod and walk through the door.


	25. Training scores

I walk into the training area. The game makers and sponsors are talking. I search for the knife rack.

I stand in front of the game makers and sponsors.

'Clove Kentwell' I tell them. 'District 2'. They all nod and look at me.

I walk towards the knife section. I don't have very long to do this. Glimmer and Marvel were finished quick.

I grab some knifes and walk to the dummies.

I throw one of my knifes right in its heart. One in the head of a dummy who's farther away.

I twist around and throw another knife in a dummy behind me.

I have two knifes left. A few trainers are throwing things at me, but I dodge under every one.

I throw one knife behind me, in the heart of the dummy, and make a diving roll and push the other knife in its back.

I walk towards the game makers and sponsors. The look in their eyes look pretty impressed, I'm sure that they underestimated me.

'You're done' A man with a weird beard says, Seneca Crane.

I bow down, and walk through another exit.

I see Marvel and Glimmer standing there.

'And?' Marvel asks me.

'It went pretty good. What about yours?' I answer.

'Good too.' Marvel responds.

Glimmer interrupts our conversation 'Mine went good too.'

'Well okay.' I roll my eyes.

We wait for a while, but finally Cato opens the door.

I look at him 'How did it went?' I ask.

'Fine, but I think that I could have done better.' He answers.

'I'm sure you've done your best' Glimmer cheers.

'So, we'll meet before the interviews?' Marvel says. '

Sure' Cato replies.

'Okay lets go.. I want to know the scores.' I fill in.

Cato and I walk towards the elevator, and step inside.

When we're all alone, and the doors are closed he asks me 'What's wrong?'.

'Nothing. I'm fine.' I look away to avoid eye contact.

He grabs my arm 'Clove you are not fine, what's wrong?'.

'Don't get too close.' I reply emotionless.

'What?' he looks at me misunderstood.

'It's dark inside.'

'Inside what?' he still doesn't understand me.

'Inside me, what do you mean? Are you still alive?' I ask him.

'Yeah of course I am alive, if I wasn't how can I talk to you right now?'

'Dead on the inside, someone ate my feelings out of me I guess. Nothing more than an empty minded hollow body.' I fake a smile.

I can be acting emotionless, but I never become a liar. I'm more honest on the wrong moments, but I am not a liar!

'Who did that? I'm going to kill that person!' Cato responds angrily.

I look into his eyes 'Nah, I don't like suicidal people..' I tell him, as the doors open and walk quickly out of it.

I'm sure it will get a few seconds for Cato to realise that I was talking about him. But that was what I wanted to do, he has to realise what he has done to me. I can't let anyone doing this to me.

I open the door of the apartment and see Brutus and Enobaria standing. 'Hey! You're back' Brutus says.

'Of course I am.' I respond. 'Enobaria, you were so right. I'm sorry. Love can actually kill someone.'

She smiles 'I know.'

I hop down on the sofa and turn on the TV.

Cato opens the door and goes sitting next to me. He pulls his arm around me. I can hate Cato for what he has done yesterday, but still I do love him.

'Clove, what have I done to you?' he whispers.

'Well.. I- it doesn't matter anymore I guess...'

he shrugs 'okay?'

I see Caesar Flickerman on the TV screen. 'Hey it begins!' I yell towards Enobaria and Brutus, who were standing in the other side of the room.

They walk to the living room, and sit down on the other sofa.

'As you know, the tributes are rated on a scale of 1 to 12 after 3 days of carefully evaluation ' Caesar says. We all look at the TV screen.

'From district 1, Marvel with a score of 9' He did pretty well. My thoughts drift off and I miss Glimmer's score.

'From district 2, Cato with a score of 10.' ' You fool, you said that you could do better..!' I hug him.

'Clove, with a score of 10'

'Congrats!' Brutus and Enobaria say. 'Time for a drink!' Brutus cheers.

'I can't say no to that' Cato replies.

'Me neither.' I fill in.

'Oh Clove, you are under 18.' Enobaria grins 'just kidding'. I roll my eyes.

Enobaria fills in the glasses with champagne and gives everyone a glass.

We sit back down. 'Clove.' Cato says as he points at the screen. 'You've got a higher score than Thresh, nothing to be afraid of.'

I grin 'What is his score?'

'A nine ' He responds.

We all watch the TV. 'Rue, with a score of 7' That's pretty good for that little girl.

'District 12, Peeta Mellark with a score of 8' I can't hold my laughter.

'Now fire girl' Cato says.

'Katniss Everdeen, with a score of… 11.'

I let fall my drink 'What the f*ck!' I scream.

Cato smashes his glass against the wall, it shatters into a thousand pieces. That b*tch stole our show, again! HOW DID SHE GET THAT 11?! She is going to pay for this.

'I am going to kill her right now' Cato mutters and shuts the door. I hear a vase falling down.

I jump off the couch and run through the door. 'Cato!' I yell.

He doesn't pay attention to me and starts destroying more things.

I run towards him and stop right before him. 'It's no use killing her now, the peacekeepers will find you and kill you.'

He stops walking and kisses me. I don't step back.

I still see the anger in his eyes, but that doesn't matter. I'm angry too.


	26. The Interviews

'Let's go back.' I suggest. Cato nods and we walk together down the hall.

I open the door of the apartment. There is a bad atmosphere in the room. An Avox is cleaning up the shattered glass. 'Sorry' I say.

'You two should get ready for the interviews' Enobaria says to us.

'Already?' I ask her.

'Yeah it's almost evening, the interviews start in 1,5 hour.'

'Wow the time flies.'

Cato and I walk in the hall, on our way to the stylists. Cato opens the door and we see Apple, Vine and Octavia.

'Hello!' Apple says happily. How can they always be happy? I guess that they aren't the ones who are going to fight till death in that f*cking arena.

'Clove come with me' Vine says as she walks off to a smaller room.

I sit down on a big chair. Vine washes my hair, brushes it, and makes a neat high ponytail.

_Maybe is this just an act from Cato. I'm curious how he acts when we're with Glimmer and Marvel. Maybe is love just a game, in that case the Hunger Games is 'just' a game too. But those games can actually kill you. I seriously don't know what I should think of all this, so maybe I just don't have to think at all. Is that better? _

I try to quit my thinking, but that is harder then it seems. 'So how are you?' Vine asks me to break the silence.

'I'm vine, what about you?' I grin.

'Fine too..' she answers as she rolls her eyes. 'You're going to be a flawless killer'

_A what?! Flawless killer? Is that a capitol term? What the f*ck is this. They are going to put me into an arena, I didn't wanted this at all. I have to fight, for my life, for Cato. Or not.. I don't know. I'll just fight. And they want to make me flawless. Only the thought of that is disgusting, just no! _

'How do you mean flawless? It's a fight. Not a fashion show..' I ask her quietly. Did I just said something wrong?

'Well you have to look good, for sponsors right?'

'Looks aren't going to save my life when I am about to get killed.'

I see it in front of me. When someone is trying to cut my throat. Oh, wait. You look pretty. I'm not going to kill you. Just.. nobody is going to do that.

Apple is painting my nails in a soft red colour.

'What does my dress looks like?' I ask them.

Apple walks out of the room, and as she returns she holds a bright, but soft looking orange dress. It looks amazing.

'Your hair is done, can you put on the dress now?' Vine tells me.

I nod and grab the dress.

I drop my clothes on the floor and put the dress on.

It fits perfectly. I walk back to the chair, where Apple and Vine are still standing.

Apple is clapping 'It looks amazing!'. Vine nods and smiles at me.

Vine puts on a little bit of make up on my face. I still want to look natural, and not that almost radioactive and chemical type of Capitol people.

'You're ready!' Apple cheers.

I nod and walk towards Cato, in a suit. I never thought that I would see this, but it looks good!

Cato stands up and we walk together towards the elevator.

'Have you practised your interview?' He asks me.

'No, sh*t I forgot! Did you?' I answer.

'Nope'

I press the elevator button [0]. No training this time, we'll go to the interviews.

Cato admits 'Clove, I don't know how this all is going, and how it will went. But you have to know that I love you, and I will do anything to save you'.

I smile 'I love you too.' The doors open and we walk out.

No love acting anymore, this is show time. And fire girl isn't going to steal it again!

When we arrive at the backstage place. I see a row of people, selected on district. District 1 is on front, district 12 is last.

Cato and I are standing behind Marvel and Glimmer. Caesar Flickerman is calling her name first.

Glimmer walks up the stage and acts really 'girly', just too much. Way too much. I don't spend time to watch them. I am going to kill her first in the arena. I f*cking hate her.

Nobody knows how badly I just want to say it, to tell everyone that I love Cato. But I can't, nobody can do that. The arena isn't a place for love, it's a place to kill, and fight. Nothing else.

Marvel is walking up the stage. I don't know what they're talking about but it ends with a 'WOOOH' from Marvel. I roll my eyes, he's so weird.

Then it's my turn. 'Let's hear it for Clove!' Caesar says. I walk up the stage and Caesar grabs my hand. We sit down.

'So Clove, you look beautiful.' He says.

I try to be nice 'Thanks'. I add a little smile.

I can't be happy, lets fake everything here.

'So, you're a career, aren't you?' He asks me

'Of course I am.'

'But you didn't volunteer right?'

'Nah, I'm magical. I knew Pan was going to pick me.'

Caesar laughs exaggerated. 'And, why would you like to win?'

'Who says that I like to win? I have to win. If I don't win I will die, and my district counts on me'

Actually I don't care about winning at all. '

Well I hope you are going to win!' Caesar tells me.

We stand up again. He grabs my arm and puts it in the air

'Let's hear it one last time for Clove!' He yells and the crowd starts cheering.

I walk back to the backstage place.

I f*cked it up, that was a really messy conversation. When he asked me about the winning part, I just wanted to tell everyone that I am not going to win.

Cato has to win, not me! I wanted to tell everyone that I love him. But I couldn't do that, that should be weak, careers don't do love. All tributes don't do love. There is no place for love in the arena.

I see Cato on stage now. Caesar asks the same question 'Why would you like to win'.

I'm sure that Caesar already thinks that Cato is going to win, so do I. He never thought that I would win, he underestimates me too.

'I'd like to win for Clove' Cato says.

Oh, how can he win for me? If he wins, then I am going to die.

But it's true, actually I want him to win. But he doesn't win for me right? Together or not at all.. he said. I don't get it anymore.

Cato walks backstage and the other tributes have to go now. I don't pay attention to them.

We stand as a group of me, Cato, Marvel and Glimmer. We already have an alliance I think.

I don't want to be allies with Glimmer, nah I will kill her. She's useless.

Then it's fire girl's turn. She's shaking like a Chihuahua. That pathetic girl, she wants to win for her little sister. Too bad that she can't win. That thing can't pull out us, the careers. I would like to win for my sister too. But she's dead, and fire girl is dead soon too.

Caesar asks her about the chariot rides. 'I was just hoping that I wouldn't burn to death' Katniss says.

Hmm funny, that was exactly what I was hoping.

'In fact I'm wearing them today'

I roll my eyes, oh no.. not again.

Katniss starts twirling around like a little girl and her dress catches fire again.

'What the hell is wrong with her. She is twirling around like a baby. She knows that she is going to die tomorrow, and she is just twirling around!' Cato says. He's annoyed by her, I'm sure about that.

Finally Katniss walks off the stage and Peeta walks up. They have a conversation about the showers.

'They're talking about showers, and roses.. really?' Marvel says. '

And tell me, is there a special girl out there in district 12?' Caesar asks Peeta.

'No, not really'.

'No! I don't believe it for a second. Look at that face! A handsome man like you. Peeta, tell me.' Caesar says.

Glimmer starts laughing 'He? Handsome?!'. This is the first time I hear her saying something true.

'Well, there uh...there is this one girl that I've had a crush on forever. But I don't think she actually recognized me until the reaping.' Peeta says.

Caesar says something about winning.

'Thanks. But I uh...I don't think winning is going to help me at all.'

'And why not?'

'Because she came her with me'


	27. Falling apart

I feel the blood in my body starting to boil. He can't just have said that.

_Why? Why couldn't I tell that I love Cato? Why can he tell that? Careers don't love they said. Tributes shouldn't love at all! This is terrible!_

When Peeta walks off the stage I see Katniss attacking him.

I walk up to Cato 'See that' i tell him.

I watch them 'What the hell was that?!' Fire girl mutters while she pushes Peeta against a wall..

_So this can get any worse. They don't even f*cking love each other! This is a living nightmare, someone please wake me up. So they are now known as the 'star crossed lovers' while they don't even love each other. And Cato and me are in love, but aren't able to tell it, because of the 'The arena is no place for love' thing. Careers don't do love they said. I just can run on stage right now, and tell this f*cking Panem that I love him. But I don't._

Cato shakes his head 'This can't be true right?' he says quietly to me.

I have to control myself, to not attack them. The adrenaline is flowing through my body.

Nobody is able to see, what I am going through right now.

They can't feel what I am feeling.

And they will never know what I know.

I am dying on the inside, there's no sense in trying to deny that fact.

When I want to say something to Cato, I see that he's gone, Glimmer is gone too.

Oh no, not again. I'm sick of this. I don't know where he is, but I'm sure he is with Glimmer.

I'm disappointed, again!

Only Marvel is standing here. 'Where's Cato?' I ask him.

'Bathroom I guess.' Marvel replies.

'Hmm okay.'

'Hey, today is the last day in this Capitol Building. Why don't you come check out our rooms at floor 1?' He asks me.

'Okay, why not.' I say back, and nod.

I walk together with Marvel towards the elevator. He presses the button [1] and the elevator goes upstairs.

It feels weird, the feeling in my chest returns, but I don't know why.. Why should I be jealous right now? I mean maybe because of the fact that Peeta is able to tell that he loves fire girl, while he doesn't love her at all. It's unfair. And I'm not able to do that.

But, do I love Cato? I'm starting to doubt about that. I'm sick and tired of Glimmer, who's flirty the whole f*cking time. I don't want to do this anymore. My friends were right. 'Love always feels like a battlefield' literally, I am in the arena tomorrow. Well then I can kill her, I think that should be positive.

The elevator doors open and Marvel leads me to his apartment.

'Don't you get tired of that Glimmer thing?' I ask him.

'You have no idea!' He rolls his eyes.

Marvel opens the door of the apartment.

I look around, this is a lot more luxurious than our apartment, there's a lot pink here. Too much pink if you ask me.

I walk through the room. There's not really much difference between this room, and floor 2. But it's so pink..

I need some fresh air. 'Where is your balcony?' I ask him. Marvel walks down the hall and leads me to the balcony.

I don't set a single step on the balcony. I shake my head.

The feeling is back again, but this time it's worse than ever. It's literally ripping my heart out.

Damn disappointment, there you are again! I see Glimmer and Cato kissing on the f*cking balcony.

'Can't be true' I mumble.

'What?' Marvel asks me.

I finally know a way, to make them pay for this. Well at least I can scare them to death.

I run the apartment out, through the hall and press the button of the 13th floor. Marvel has followed me.

'What are you going to do?'

'You will see that soon.' I stare in front of me.

The feeling in my chest hurts like hell_. _

_Why is this happening to me? I am maybe not perfect and sh*t, but I know that I didn't deserve this._

_ Enobaria was right again, love can actually kill someone. And guess what, I am dying, dying on the inside. It seriously burns my heart out, is this normal? _

_'Nobody dies a virgin, life fucks everyone' Cato said. Well in that case I am getting raped over here. _

_I hate life, I always hated life. If there was just an easy way to escape I would went that way. But sadly enough, dying is painful. _

_I don't know what I should think anymore. Guess my brains are dying too._

The doors open. I walk quickly through the hall and stand in front of the door of my old room, where I stayed when I had the concussion.

I scrabble in my pocket, to find the key. I was sure that I would need it, and this is why.

I grab the key of the door and put it in. I unlock the door and walk inside. It is nothing different then last time.

I hop onto the balcony and take a breath.

I climb over the fence of the balcony.

I cling to the fence, I forgot that I was afraid of heights.

'_Calm down Clove, you just have to do this! Make them pay for it.'_ I say to myself.

I try to sit down on the fence.

'CATO' I scream to the balcony of floor 1.

I see Cato and Glimmer looking above themselves.

'IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?'.

I'm just setting up a scene, a bit overdoing. I can't wait!

'Clove don't jump!' Cato yells.

Glimmer still wants attention from him. Cato pushes Glimmer away.

'And why not?' I take a breath to stop my shaking. 'Guess it's not me you'll save.' I yell and smile slightly.

I stand on the edge of the balcony.

'CLOVE DON'T F*CKING DO THIS.' He screams.

Marvel is still standing behind me. 'Why are you doing this?' He asks shakily.

'Remember the pebble stone?' I answer.

I'm ready to jump. I'm a bit afraid of that the force field won't rebound me. A pebble stone is so much lighter than me.

'I'm a lost cause' I yell to Cato.

'What lost is can be fou-'

But it's too late, it always was too late.

I close my eyes, take a deep breath and let myself fall.

We were falling apart.

It seems endless, falling down. I feel like a dying flappy bird.

'_I am going to die. I AM GOING TO DIE. It was a FORCE FIELD. I'm going to be electrocuted soon! F*CK!' _

I brace myself for the moment when I reach the force field.

I hit it. I hear the buzz and I rebound .

I didn't hurt at all. I feel more free.

I don't rebound as far as I thought.

I cling myself on the fence of the balcony of floor 1.

Cato grabs my arm. 'Clove what the f*ck?!' He says.

I climb over the fence and stand on the balcony.

'Cato what the f*ck?!' I repeat and look at Glimmer, who still lays on the balcony after Cato pushed her.

'Are you okay?' He asks me.

'Hmm, I'm Vine, I can't feel better I guess.' I smile sarcastically and walk away.


	28. Broken

I step inside the elevator. Cato tries to follow me, but when the doors close he is too late.

Again, too late. The doors close in front of him, and I won't open them. '_Good.'_ I think. '_You don't ever do that again.. at least I hope so..'_

I press the [2]. I'm still shaking, actually it was pretty fun, the jump. Not that I would ever do it again.

It felt like freedom. Just falling down, I didn't have to think at that moment. It was just my own stupid fault that I did thought about the force field.

But now I feel like broken, like a glass what's about to shatter into a thousand pieces.

But all my pieces are still on my body, there are scars and cracks everywhere. And i'm about to break.

The doors open again and I walk out of it. I roll my eyes.

I left the door of my room at floor 13 open. Why does floor 13 even exits? I learned that there were only 12 districts.

There are 24 tributes, 2 each district.. that is only 12 districts right?

Some people said that there is a 'district 13'. I don't know of it exists. Maybe it did, and it burned down. Maybe they build a floor for every district, including district 13. But then district 13 didn't participate in the games and they made a doctors floor of it?

I don't know, but this isn't my business. I just have to focus on the games tomorrow.

I open the door and walk inside of my apartment at floor 2.

'What were you doing?' Enobaria asks me.

'What do you mean..?' I try to sound innocent.

'Well we saw you flying.'

'Oh that, well love can kill, remember?'

'Clove that doesn't mean that you had to almost kill yourself.'

'I knew what I was doing. I just had to make them pay for what they had done to me.'

'Who?' Enobaria frowns

'Glimmer and Cato.'

'Oh.. I guess that I already know what's going on.'

I nod 'Maybe you do, maybe you don't.'

I sit down on the sofa and lay my head down on a soft, red pillow.

Cato opens the door. I don't want to talk. I stare at the black TV screen.

' Why.. uh.. why don't we going to have dinner?' Enobaria suggests.

I think it's going to be awkward to sit there with Cato, but I'm starving. 'Okay' I nod.

I get up from the sofa and walk towards the dinner room.

Bad luck me, Cato sits on the other side of the table, right in front of me.

The Avox places some stew on the table. I grab a spoon and scoop the food on my plate.

'So, tomorrow are you two going into the arena.' Brutus starts the conversation. 'Are you ready for it?'

'Why shouldn't we be ready?' Cato says.

Brutus shrugs 'I don't know. Maybe you wanted more information?'

'What is the arena made of?' I ask them.

'We can't tell you that.'

I roll my eyes.

I try to prick with a fork in my stew. I'm still f*cking shaking, it still feels like I'm falling down.

When I look up I notice that Cato is looking at me for like the whole time.

'What?' I say.

'Oh no, I'm just happy that you're still alive. You just jumped from a building of 13 floors high.' Cato says quietly, but that is no said anything, so everyone could hear it.

'Well you don't have to convince me that I jumped from the 13th floor.' I respond.

'Maybe because you didn't know what you were doing?' He tries to defend himself.

'I knew exactly what I was doing.'

'Then why did you do it?'

'You made me to.' I put on a fake smile and shake my head.

'I did what?' He asks.

'You. Made. Me. To.' I look him right in the eyes. 'And now don't act like you f*cking didn't know anything about this'

'Why did you jump?' He asks me once again.

I'm getting angry, why is he acting like he doesn't know anything? He did f*cking know what he was doing, just like me.

'I jumped from a f*cking building because of you! I know that you've been with Glimmer all the f*cking time. I can't live on like this, running away from the truth, acting that I don't know anything okay?!' I take a breath

'I rather die than live this life. I knew that there was a force field down there. I only thought that it would electrocute me. But it doesn't matter if I would be electrocuted or immediately death because of the fall. Dead is dead, and you're killing me like the whole f*cking time and you don't even know it.' I try to sound confident, but I fail. The tears are collecting themselves in my eyes, ready to drop down a waterfall.


	29. Elastic Heart

Cato looks at me misunderstood 'Me with Glimmer? What?'

I roll my eyes 'Why are you pretending that you don't know anything?'

Brutus and Enobaria look at each other and shake their heads.

'Okay, we're talking about this already. Please just say everything that you two want to say, then you don't have to talk in the arena.' Enobaria tells us.

She was right, if we didn't say this now, we would go into the arena with all misunderstanding, and there is no place to talk in the arena. Only a place for fighting.

'Okay then, Clove what is the matter?' Cato says.

'Don't you still f*cking know what the problem is? I thought that that was clear now.'

Why doesn't he see what I'm going through?

'Clove, I don't know what you're thinking, but there is nothing between me and Glimmer.'

'You. Were. Kissing. Her.' I mutter. My voice doesn't sound as 'sweet' as always.

Cato looks down 'No. She kissed me'.

'That's still the same. You two were kissing.'

'Okay, no love anymore. Just fighting. Prepare for the games!' Enobaria laughs.

I look at my dinner knife and wrap my hand around it. I throw it towards Cato's head.

He dodges at time. 'Clove what the f*ck?'

'Distrust can kill as easily as a knife' I wink.

I see Brutus and Enobaria laughing. This conversation and dinner is pretty messed up.

'No fighting back?' Brutus asks Cato.

'No. I'm not going to fight her.' Cato stares at me.

'And why not?'

'Because I love her.' So now he does love me? Why the hell is this so complicated.

Other tributes are probably just chilling. And we, we are arguing about love. I don't like love. It's like a deep hole in the ground. I fell into it, and can't escape. There's no way out. I don't know what to do now. Maybe I should find another way to climb.

'I think that Clove had already told you this, but there's no place for love in the arena. It could mean the difference between life and death'. Enobaria says

'That's basically why I did this.' Cato responds

'What?' I ask him.

'Well, I don't want you to feel sorry if you had to kill me. One of us has to die right?'

'I'm not going to kill you. Why should I kill you?' I look down.

'Maybe you should. If you two were the last two left, who would win?' Enobaria asks us.

I point at Cato, and Cato points at me.

Brutus slaps himself 'Are you f*cking serious' .

'Yeah.' I tell him.

'Okay wait a second, I don't understand this anymore. An hour ago, you jumped from a 13 floor high building.' She looks at me. '

And you were cheating on her.' She looks at Cato.

'And now, you two prefer the other to survive the games, it doesn't make sense at all! ' Enobaria is frustrated.

I already know that I won't be happy if I would win. I still had to live with Alex, if he is still alive. I can't live on my own. Alyssa is dead, my parents are dead, everyone I ever cared about is dead. Except Cato.

I can survive, but I will be a lonely lost victor. On the other hand, Cato still has his family. I can explain this whole story to Brutus and Enobaria, but I think that they will call me weak. I don't want more people to judge me.

'Maybe you just don't have to understand' Cato says.

I eat the last pile of stew from my plate. I don't know what to think anymore.

People hurt you, then they apologize, and then they do it again. It just goes on and on. I don't want to get hurt again.

I'm already hurt, one more time and I'm dead. Dead on the inside. And I'm sick of being hurt. Can't I just start over?

I'm tired. 'I'm going to sleep' I tell everyone.

I get up, slide my chair back in place and walk off to my room. Put on a pyjama and lay down in my bed. I realise that this is the last night here.

_It could be the last night in my life. But it won't be the last, I'll survive through the games. And if Cato and I are the last ones, I'll kill myself. That sounds like a good plan. It would be a sign against the Capitol. I didn't want them to put me into the games where I have to fight for my life, nobody wants that! We've been trained because we didn't have a choice, and just went into it. _

_I've got one last thing to do. As I promised myself, Cato has to win. My life would suck if I was the victor. I would survive the games, but I would never win anything. I would only lose the last person I'd care about. That isn't even an option for me. I just have to make sure that Cato and I are the last two alive. For that I have to fight enough. It won't be easy, I know that. But I have to do this. And I am going to do this._

I try to cut off the thoughts and close my eyes. I drift off to a deep sleep.

* * *

_I sit in a forest. I look around myself, I see only trees and a bright, cloudless blue sky. It looks amazing. _

_I stand up and walk around the trees. I'm curious what this amazing forest looks like from a higher place, I search carefully for a tree, where I can climb in. _

_They look all the same, but I feel that I must climb in this one. I look upon one of the thousand threes and climb in it._

_ Halfway I fall down. _

_I brace myself for the moment that I hit the floor, but I don't hit it. _

_I fall right through the ground. In the end I land in a deep hole in the ground. _

_I look up, how can I fell through the ground? _

_I seriously expected that I was being caught by the ground. But it didn't, it let me fell down. _

_I look at my body and see cracks everywhere, I am breaking. I can't just climb out of this hole. _

_Maybe I should find my own way. I start digging a hole in the soil. I don't go any deeper, but aside. _

_But I am starting to break into pieces. I crumble, till there's nothing left of me._

'_I've got a thick skin_

_And an elastic heart_

_But your blade might be too sharp._

_I'm like a rubber band_

_Until you pull too hard_

_I may snap and I move fast. _

_But you won't see me fall apart._

'_Cause I've got an elastic heart.'_


	30. Let the games begin

The sunlight shines in my room, it's warm. I try to hold my hand for my eyes, I don't want to wake up yet.

I hear the door of my room, I slowly open my eyes to see who it is.

'Are you going to get up or what? Today is the day.' Enobaria says.

Everything is so quiet, innocent and relaxing right now.

It feels like I'm high or something, maybe I'm half asleep.

I squeeze my skin, it hurts, so I'm awake I guess.

'How many time do we have left?' I ask her.

'3 hours till the games begin. Try to fill your time in with whatever you want. But in 2 hours you should be ready.' She answers, and I nod.

Enobaria walks my room out and closes the door quietly. I stare at the ceiling.

_The games are starting in 3 hours. In 3 hours I am a killer. I can't be a killer now, I'm so confused. The sunshine, the warmth.. everything seems so peaceful right now. I'm so relaxed. I still can't believe that in 3 hours I have to kill people. But I can't kill Cato. I am going to kill everyone except Cato, inclusive myself if I have to. _

_This is maybe the last time I can think clearly, so I try to make everything clear for myself. _

_In 3 hours I am in an Arena. In the Arena I have to fight. In the Arena I have to kill. _

_If I don't kill people I will die._

_ If I die I can't help Cato._

_ If I don't help Cato, he maybe dies. I'm pretty sure that he will survive way longer than me. But the game makers can kill him every time they want to._

_ If __Cato dies, I failed._

_ If I fail I.. I was worthless on this planet. This is the last f*cking thing I want to do. Cato has to win._

_I have trained my whole life for this. I was born as a victor. I am a violent, flawless killer. I have to kill everyone, well almost everyone. I was born to do this, and today is my time to shine. I am going to give them their show, whatever they want. I am a fighter, and I am going to fight for my life._

I try to keep that thought in my head and get up. I'm shaking a bit. '_You're not scared. You're too excited.'_ I tell myself.

My head doesn't hurt anymore. Only my chest hurts. It's that weird feeling, again.

'_There's nothing to be jealous of now. At least not here.. I'm not going to think about district 2.. district 2. Noa... she said that she hoped that I was going to die in the games. And f*cking hell now I am going to die in the games. Cato has to win, I don't give a damn about what she said.' _Damn you brains, I've always hated you.

I take my last shower. I'll even miss the green slime I think.

As I'm done with my last shower I walk inside my room. On the table lay my arena clothes.

I put on the red t-shirt.

I see a black vest with places where I can hide my knifes in. That's useful! I put it on over the red t-shirt.

I put on the loose fitting jeans, it has a brown/green colour.

And then a dark red jacket, which I put on, but don't zip it.

I walk back to the mirror and brush my hair. I make a ponytail with bubbles in it. It looks pretty funny. I don't want to be perfect, looks are not saving me as I'm about to die. I remember the conversation with Vine.

I walk outside, on the little balcony and look down, to the capitol people who are walking there. I know that I can't reach them with a stone, or even with myself. That stupid force field.

I feel the tension to jump again, but I know that I can't do that again.. Cato walks on the balcony too. We don't say anything to each other.

I look at the sun, it shines bright. In 2,5 hours it's my time to shine. I'm shaking like hell, I try to convince myself that I am not scared.

But it's no use running away from the truth. I am scared, but I can't be. I am a career, and careers aren't scared.

'Are you okay?' Cato says. The first words we've said to each other since yesterday evening at the dinner table.

Maybe because there is nothing much left to say now. We don't know each other that long, but I know him good. And he knows me.

I want to speak, to tell him that I'm fine. But there's no word coming out of my mouth.

I hug him. Sometimes a simple hug can tell more than a thousand words.

'Not mad anymore?' He grins.

'I wasn't mad, just disappointed.' I respond.

'You threw a knife to my head.'

I smile 'Sorry not sorry.'

'Are you ready for the Games?' I ask him.

'Of course I am, are you?'

'Yeah' I nod

'You aren't ready huh?'.

'Okay, not really.' I say quietly. 'No one can understand me, like you can understand.'

'Hey you two! There's breakfast!' Brutus yells from the dinner room.

'Clove I don't know what will happen in the games. But if one of us dies, the other should die too. Together or not at all' He tells me.

'Nah, if you die, I'll die. But you're not going to die for me. I'm dead anyways. I would only bring pride to district 2, nothing more. I don't have a family remember?'.

'BREAKFAST!' Brutus yells.

Cato and I walk inside the dinner room, eat some bread and eggs, and water. Much water! As we've finished our breakfast, we walk towards the door.

'Any last advice?' I ask them.

'Win.' Brutus and Enobaria say together.

Cato and I walk towards the elevator, it's last time we walk here. It's weird to miss this, for 23 of the tributes, including me.

Our last time is counting, a lot of them are going to die in 2 hours. I shouldn't care about them.

If I am going to think about everything I will do in the arena, then I won't do anything. I can't kill anyone if I'm thinking about it. No thinking, just do it.

There's one last thing I should do. I have to make the last 2, together with Cato. And then I'm about to die, but first I have to fight.

I know that making it till the last 2 isn't easy at all.

When we are downstairs there is an hovercraft waiting on the tributes.

I look behind me at Enobaria and Brutus. 'May the odds be ever in your favor' Enobaria yells. I smile a bit, and climb the stairs of the hovercraft.

I walk inside, there are 24 seats. I can't sit next to Cato. I sit down next to Katniss aka Fire girl. She looks pathetic and afraid, just like at the reaping.

When the last tributes arrive, the ones from district 7, a cracking voice comes out of the speaker. 'This hovercraft is going to bring all of you towards the Arena. Please stay quiet.'

It starts flying. Some tributes look so afraid that they could cry. I just sit down in my chair.

A capitol woman has a syringe in her hands. She walks to every single tribute and injects their tracker.

'Give me your arm' She says to me. I hold my arm in front of her. She sticks the syringe in my vein and the tracker is inside me.

Now the Capitol knows everything, where I am. And if I'm dead or alive.

It did hurt pretty much, but I can't notice every little pain I feel from now on. I know that I am going to be injured in the arena, and I can't stop fighting then. I have to fight till my last breath, and I am going to do that.

I look at Cato, who sits f*cking relaxed on his chair. Probably our only 'enemy' is Thresh. I'm still pretty scared of that guy, but however.. I had an higher score. But Katniss had a higher score than us all!? Still, I'll kill her in the bloodbath, and I can't wait!

When everyone's tracker is injected, we land. We can't see the arena yet.

I walk out of the hovercraft and a few peacekeepers lead me to the tubes I think. I walk with them.

From now on, camera's everywhere. I can't show **any** fear. Careers don't do that.

I meet Vine in one of the 24 rooms.

I look at the tube, 60 seconds to launch. The adrenaline flows through my veins.

'Remember, you are a flawless killer. Use your knifes! While everyone underestimates you, you can win.' She tells me, and I nod.

'Do it for your loved ones, I know that they're dead. But make them, and your district proud of you. You have to win! And you are going to win!'

'Thank you for everything!' I smile a bit an hug her. Vine is weird, how did she know that my family is dead? But I'm going to miss her. She was the only capitol-human-being which I could tell something, and she actually listened.

Vine starts crying. Pathetic capitol people, in this case they are all the same.

'10 seconds to launch'.

I step into the tube and the doors close.

I am going to fight. I have to kill everyone. **Everyone** is going to die. I am going to shine.

There is no way out now. I have to win, or get close to the win.

The tube slowly gets up.

I'm blinded by the light. Slowly my sight comes back and I see where I am.

I look around myself.

A forest, just like in my dreams.


	31. The bloodbath

There's a vocally countdown from 60. I look around myself and see all the other tributes.

The little ones look pathetic, Katniss and Peeta too. I can be little, but I am not scared. Not anymore, I guess.

I look for Cato, he's a few pedals next to me. I look at him, and he looks back.

We can't speak now, but we can communicate.

One look says enough. We are going to do this, we can do this, killing everyone.

39…38…37…36…35…

There's something inside of me. I can't think as myself as I'm in training, or the games. It's like my feelings are snapped, and I'm happy to don't have them anymore. I am a flawless killer, just like Vine said. I can see Cato feeling this too. He wasn't like this before.

25…24…23…22…21…

This seems endless! Just start already! I want to kill people, I hate people!

20…19…18…17…16…

Red is bad. Except blood, blood is good. I want to see blood.

15…14…13…12…11…

Yeah last 10 seconds. I set my feet ready to run, I have to sprint towards the bloodbath soon.

10…9…8…7…6…

I take a quick look at everyone, Thresh seems to think like a killer too.. I see it at his attitude. He's ready to sprint too. Don't care about this. I am going to kill **everyone. **The last 10 seem to last ages.

'One more kill. One more down. One step closer to the crown'

5…4…3…2…1…

The gong goes off.

* * *

I jump from my pedal and sprint towards the cornucopia. I'm one of the quickest here.

I quickly grab 4 knifes, I have four places in my knife jacket.

I look around myself and see Fire girl running in front of a boy, district 9 I guess. I run after them, I have to kill Katniss!

For everything she has done. _'Showtime is over, fire girl.' _I think.

The district 9 boy attacks her. NO! I have to kill her. I throw one of my knifes in his back and he falls off her.

She looks at me like I've saved her life. Fire girl grabs the backpack and crawls backward.

I throw my knife at her, but she protects her head with the backpack. My knife sticks into the backpack and Katniss runs away.

'SH*T' I mutter. I can't have missed! I run after her.

I feel someone's hands on my shoulders.

I freeze, I can't die yet. It's only the bloodbath!

'Hey hey, calm down. It's just me' Cato says.

'I.. I missed! I have to kill her!' I tell him as I try to run away, after fire girl.

'You'll kill her later. There are many others to kill! Have fun.' Cato walks away.

I turn around and hobble back to the cornucopia. There's blood everywhere. Duh, it's the bloodbath!

I like the red coloured grass.

I see the girl from district 7 and push her to the ground.

Marvel stabs his spear through her abdomen.

Blood flows out of her, I like the look in her eyes. It's so empty, just an emotionless, hollow body. And I don't f*cking care about it.

I see the girl from district 10 looking around herself, she isn't busy. Let's have some fun with her.

I run towards her and attack her from behind. I stab her with my knife, but she doesn't want to die.

I stick the knife in her stomach and twist it. She screams pathetic.

The beautiful red blood flows out of the wound. She can count her last minutes now.

'Bye bye' I smile at her, as I walk away I hear her cannon echoing through the arena.

Next victim, who is volunteering? I look around myself and see the boy from district 7 standing alone.

I want a challenge, let's play this game.

I run quietly at him and throw my knife at his heart. It sticks in, maybe I should throw harder, people don't want to die here.

He looks behind, at me. I run towards him and grab my knife back.

I stick it in his heart again. 'Just go and die already!' I mutter.

I have to win, and if I want to win, I have to kill people. It's easy as that.

The boy starts coughing blood. I hear the cannon.

I hear someone screaming, I recognize it immediately, it's Glimmer.

I look behind me and see the district 6 boy attacking her.

I just watch it, no way that I am going to help that b*tch.

I almost slap myself as I see that Cato does wants to help her, of course he would help her.

I look around myself, but there's no one left who is going to attack me.

I walk towards Cato, who is finishing the boy, from district 6.

Jason was his name I guess. He was the one who stole his knife.

I see Cato slicing his head off, maybe it wasn't to help Glimmer, but just for revenge.

Looks great, all those dead body's here, and the red/blood dyed grass. Maybe this arena can be beautiful! I roll my eyes

'They better pick up the body's before they start stinking' Cato says.

'They thought the same'. I point at the hovercrafts flying into the arena, to pick up the dead body's here.

The girl from district 4 is still here, in the cornucopia. I don't know why. Her head annoys me, I want her dead.

I look behind me, and see Peeta laying there.

'Cato!' I yell 'do you want another victim?'.

Cato hurries towards me and Peeta and is ready to slash his head off.

Peeta is scared, I like to look of scared people.

'Wait! Wait! Don't kill me!' He mutters.

'Why shouldn't I kill you?' Cato grins.

'I.. I've got some information, you might need.'

'Can you lead us to fire girl?' I ask Peeta.

He nods, of course he didn't say anything.

Cato still points his swords at his throat 'Okay, but if we've killed her, you're next'.

'Deal..' Peeta mutters.

'What about her?' Marvel walks towards us.

'Who?' Cato asks him.

Marvel points at the district 4 female, who is still sitting in our space. Who does she thinks she is?

'Hey you!' Cato yells 'Are you going to help us?'.

'Uh, I guess so?' She responds.

'There is no guessing so here, you help us, or you die right now.'

'Then I will help you guys.'

'Same deal, if we don't need you anymore. You still die.'

The girl doesn't say anything anymore, way too scared for her death I think.


	32. F-U-N

'Let's set up our tents' Marvel suggests.

'Yeah we'll do that later, first we have to bury all the weapons' Cato says.

'Make a pyramid stack.' I tell them. I sound more confident than I really am.

The boys nod and we walk towards the cornucopia to make a stack.

I lift a black box. I think there's food in there, it's really heavy.

I put it on the ground and push it. That's easier I guess.

'Glimmer move your fat ass over here and help us' Marvel says.

I hold my laughter.

Glimmer stands up 'I am not fat.' She mutters, and grabs the lightest things from the cornucopia.

I am still pushing the box, and finally it reaches the pyramid of food and weapons.

'It's so heavy' Glimmer stumbles.

'You've got the lightest things here' Cato rolls his eyes.

I see her face turning red, but she doesn't say anything.

We all carry all the stuff towards the pyramid.

When we're finally done we make a bench from other boxes. We didn't use them anyway.

I sit down on one of the benches. 'How much tents do we have?' I ask Marvel.

'Uh.. I don't know, I'll take a look.' He replies as he walks towards the pyramid of stuff.

I see him counting and he walks back to me 'there are 3 tents, and 6 of us. Two in each tent'.

I start clapping 'Wow smart.'

He looks at me misunderstood.

I roll my eyes. People won't ever understand my sarcasm.

'Okay, who is sleeping with who?' Marvel says.

Everyone keeps quiet for a while.

'I'll sleep with Cato' Glimmer suddenly says.

Maybe it's just my brain thinking weird things. But this isn't a good idea if you ask me.. Why couldn't she just said '' share my tent with..' Weird girl, I'll kill her if I get the chance to.

'Ehm no, I'll share my tent with Clove.' Cato interrupts her idea. Glimmer looks down..

'You always get what you want, don't you?' Cato asks her.

'Yeah. And I want to sleep with you.'

I hold my hands over my mouth to hide my laugh. This can't be more awkward.

'Well, maybe you just get used to disappointment.' Cato says.

I can't hold it in anymore and start laughing.

Glimmer looks angrily at me.

I just can't hold it in, and walk to the cornucopia and laugh my ass off there.

It's pretty weird to think about the fact that I am in an arena, where I have killed kids, and many to go.

And I am just laughing because of Glimmer. She isn't funny, just so stupid.

I seriously got to focus! This isn't funny.. I have to kill more.

I walk back to Cato, Glimmer and Marvel. 'Sorry.' I tell them. 'I just couldn't hold it in.'

Marvel shakes his head 'Where are Lover boy and that district 4 girl?'.

'In their tent' Glimmer answers.

'We should set up our tent too' Cato says to me.

'Okay.' I respond.

Cato and I grab one of the bags, there should be a tent in this thing.

'But ehm.. how?' Cato stares frustrated at the bag.

'Let me try' I grab it. 'Okay, we've been training our whole life for this, and we don't know how to use a tent.' I slap myself.

'I know how to use it. It's to sleep in.. duh. But how the f*ck are we going to do this?' He says.

I look at him 'You almost sounded as stupid as Glimmer.'

I open the bag and the canvas of the tent fall out of it.

'Hey IKEA. There are pieces missing! There are no poles.' I mumble

'Why isn't there a manual for this?' Cato throws the empty bag in the air.

'Maybe you should throw it.' I tell him.

'Throwing isn't going to help us. I'm trying to focus okay.'

'Guess that is the first time you've said that.'

Cato nods 'Probably..'

'I'm serious throw it.'

'Why?'

'I don't know.'

Cato grabs the canvas. 'What.. what if it starts flying?'

'Yeah right, you don't know what the capitol has done to it.. guess that these games are more a comedy then a fight show.'

'We'll give them their fight show later. First this stupid tent.'

He stands up and smashes the tent in the air 'I THROW THE TENT IN THE AIR SOMETIMES. SAYIN' AYO, I AM CATO.'

The tent fills itself with air and becomes a tent.

I stare at it for a few minutes.

'So it was this type of tent…' I finally mumble.

'Throwing things does actually help.' Cato smiles. 'I seriously feel smart now.'

'You have the right to be.' Okay, actually I told him to throw it, but I just leave him happy I guess.

I zip the tent open and look inside, it's smaller than I thought it would be.

'I'm hungry, that stupid tent won't set up.' Marvel mutters.

'Throw it.' Cato and I say at the same time.

'B-But throwing isn't going to help anywhere?' He sounds confused.

'THROW IT.' I yell.

I hear his tent filling with air and popping up.

And then Glimmer screaming 'Oh my god!'

'YAY! Now time for food.' Marvel says.

We all walk to the benches. 'Are we going to make a fire?' the district 4 girl asks us.

'Yeah. I want warm food.' Glimmer says.

'Why not? Nobody is going here if they know that we are here.' I tell them.

Maybe this all isn't so bad i thought it would be. It's almost like a summer camp, only here we have to kill kids, and suddenly we have to kill eachother. But the rest is like a summercamp.

Peeta makes a fire, by a dry wooden branches rubbing against the other branch. I'll remember that.

We all grab a stick and prick some meat from the boxes on it. It's like a campfire! Only we're not roasting marshmellows, but meat.

I don't know how I can be so positive about all this.

Marvel starts singing.

'**F is for Friends who kill together'**

It's a song, we all learned when we were little. Everyone sings with him.

**'U is for U are dead.**

**N is for No one is getting out alive**

**Out here in the hunger games!'**


	33. Hunting

I hold my stick close to the fire, the meat slowly turns light brown.

'So, how much people have you killed?' Cato asks and looks around the group.

We all sit around the fire with our stick and meat.

'The girls from district 7 and 9, and the boy from 8.' Marvel answers.

'The boy from 9, girl from 10. And the boy from district 7' I say while I hold back my stick, checking my meat.

It's warm, and brown, let's eat!

'Who did you kill?' I ask Cato.

'Boys from district 4, 5 and 6.'

'Oh so you've killed my district partner' The district 4 girl looks at Cato like she want to blame him for it.

'Yeah. That 'partner' of yours was pretty dumb. He was hiding between the weapons. Do you want more details of how his head was sliced off?' He grins.

'No!' She almost screams.

'What about you Glimmer? How much have you killed?' Marvel asks.

'Uh, the girl from 6.' She replies quietly.

'Only one?' Cato and I say at the same time.

'And you?' Marvel looks at Peeta.

'No one.' He says almost inaudible.

'Oh my god. You seriously have to kill someone.' I tell him. 'It's kill, or be killed here.'

'I don't want more disappointment here, so no I am not going to ask how much you killed. And you are not going to give an answer.' Marvel tells the district 4 girl. She doesn't say anything anymore.

It's slowly getting dark.

I stare at my slightly turned brown meat and eat it.

'Are we going into the forest soon?' Glimmer asks us.

'Yeah, can't wait to kill some more people.' Cato says.

Is he really enjoying the killing? I just see it as our career-act. Of course I don't enjoy killing people, but the taste of blood is just too irresistible. It's like a demon who's gotten into me. I just have to kill people.

'_One more kill, one more down, one step closer to the crown.' _The voice in my head keeps saying that sentence. I don't know why.

I wait till everyone has eaten their food, then I stand up.

'Let's go.' Cato says while he gets up.

I walk to the pyramid stable and grab my knifes. I stick them in the knife holders on my vest.

Me and Cato walk into the forest, Glimmer and Marvel walk behind us. Lover boy and the district 4 girl try to keep it up. We don't walk that fast, they're just slow.

'Hey' I hear Marvel saying. I look behind me and see him pointing at smoke curling up in the air. 'Somebody made a fire I guess.'

'That's so stupid, someone is just waiting to get killed!' I mumble. 'Cato, let's go that way.'

'Okay. I'll kill her' he nods.

We run along all the trees. I can't see the smoke from here, but she should be somewhere.

We walk for a little while, I see the light of the fire. Finally we've found her.

It's the girl from district 8 I guess. She is warming her hands, and looks terrified when she sees us.

I smile sarcastically at her 'Surprise.'

Cato grabs his sword and holds it close to her throat.

'No, please don't kill me' the girl sounds pathetic.

'Why?' He asks her.

'I've got a brother back home to take care of. Please, don't kill me'

'Nah.' Cato simply replies.

His grip on the sword tightens as he presses it against her throat. She screams one last time, and Cato cuts through her throat easily.

'She'll bleed to death.' He says. ' Let's move on.'

We all agree and walk further though the forest. We walk for a while.

Every step hurts, during the bloodbath someone has cut my leg. I feel my heartbeat in the wound, but I try to ignore that.

' I still didn't hear a cannon..' Glimmer says.

'She has to be dead' Cato responds.

'Then why didn't we hear her cannon?' I fill in. This time Glimmer was right.

'She is dead! I finished her myself!' Cato reacts.

'Should we go back?' Marvel asks us all.

'No, I will look if she is dead or not. You guys move on.' Peeta says.

'We'll wait here. Just hurry up' Cato tells him.

Peeta hobbles away from us, I wait till he is out of my sight.

'What the f*ck are we going to do with him? It doesn't seem like he wants to give us that information right?' I say quietly.

'We'll see. If we have found her, his cannon is going to be the next who echoes through the arena.' Cato replies.

I'm pretty scared, only I don't want to act like it. Careers are fearless, I should be fearless too.

Nobody has any idea how bad I just want to hug Cato right now, but I just can't. I don't want to lose him, but I know that we have to split up someday. It's weird to know that there are cameras everywhere. Every step we take, they will be f*cking watching us.

I want to scream that they have to shut up, but I can't.

I can't do anything. I can't be myself I guess.

Peeta walks out of the bushes.

'And? Was she dead?' I ask him.

'No, but she is now.'

'Well congratulations with your first kill' I roll my eyes.

'Let's go back to the tents, I'm pretty tired.' Marvel says.

We all agree and turn around.

We walk back on our way to the cornucopia.


	34. Berries

When we arrive at the cornucopia we're all very tired. My leg still hurts, why don't the sponsors give me some cream for it?

I still feel the heartbeat booming through my body. Well, at least that means I'm still alive.

'Are we going to sleep?' Glimmer asks.

'Yeah. Who is going to stay up now?' Cato says.

'I will take the first watch.' I tell them.

Marvel and Glimmer walk away to their tent, Peeta and the girl from 4 are in their tent too.

Only Cato stands here with me. 'Are you sure?' He asks me.

'Yeah, go get some sleep.' I answer.

'Okay, whenever you're tired, wake me up.' He yawns, and walks off to our tent.

And then I'm alone. It's too quiet.

''_All alone in an arena, where are 11 others who want to kill me. No problem right? Well 5 of them are asleep now, here in the tents. So that makes 6. 6 Human-beings here in the woods who want to kill me. Who are these humans? Fire girl is still alive, that Thresh too..'' _

My heart skips a beat by the thought that Thresh is alive too, and somewhere in the woods.

'' _No, don't think about Thresh. I had a higher score than him! I can beat him.. I just don't know how. But I'll figure out how when it's time to fight him. Then there's that foxy-girl from district 5, that little girl from 11, Rue was her name. And ehm, the boy from 3. I have to kill them all. Okay I could use some help with that, but Cato is here right?''_

I stare into the forest, there's no one. No one to kill, no one who's cannon is going to echo through the arena.

That means no step closer to the crown. Maybe not my crown, it can be Cato's crown too. I don't care, as long as one of us wins.

My eyelids are heavier, Cato said that I could wake him up, but I'm not going to do that.

I walk towards Marvel & Glimmer 's tent. I slowly zip it open. 'Hey, one of you two is going to have to get up now. I'm tired.'

'Let me sleep!' Glimmer mutters.

'Then.. I am.. going to get up.' Marvel sighs .

'Whatever you want to do.' I tell them, and walk away from their tent.

I zip my own tent open and step inside of it.

I try to don't make any noise, Cato is still asleep. He looks so calm when he's sleeping.

I put out my boots and lay inside of my sleeping bag.

'Why are you trying to do so quiet?' Cato grins. I'm not sure if that's sarcasm or not.

'You were asleep.' I answer.

'Nope.' He shakes his head.

'Who is awake now?' He points at the place where I sat outside.

'Uh, Glimmer refused to stay awake. Marvel is waiting there now I guess.'

'Okay'

I zip the tent closed and lay my head down on a small pillow.

I close my eyes and drift away to a light, restless sleep.

* * *

Who knows how long I've been awake now? The shadows on the canvas don't sleep. They're moving the whole time, and keep beckoning me. '_It's just an illusion, no one is coming to hurt or kill me.' _I try to tell myself.

I look aside, Cato is still sleeping, and It's still dark.

Guess that it's just night, and I can sleep longer. I close my eyes again, and fall asleep.

* * *

The light is coming through the canvas of the tent. I slowly open my eyes.

It's morning, I wanted to wake up like in commercials. Overacted yawning, and look perfect and sh*t like that. But it's far from that.

I push myself till I sit up, I seriously don't have the energy to do anything.

I use my fingers to detangle my hair and make a simple ponytail in it.

I get up and zip the tent open.

It's pretty cold outside, and there's no sunshine at all. The sky is all grey.

I grab my boots and walk on my socks to the wooden benches. I sit down and put them on.

Glimmer, Marvel and Peeta are awake too. They didn't talk at all, and eat their breakfast.

'You should eat too.' Marvel tells me while he swallows his food.

I nod 'okay..' and walk towards the pyramid stable.

I look in the boxes, there's a lot of bread. I grab some bread and search for meat, cheese or spreads.

I know that that should be hard to get here. I should be happy I have some bread, but though I want something on the bread.

I find some beef strips in a box. I grab 2 of them and put them on my bread.

We have food enough here to survive for a month. So I also grab a wooden bowl and put berries in it. I'm sure I can eat these.

I walk back to the benches and sit down next to Cato, who just woke up.

I eat the bread with beef strips. It's not a great combo as I thought it would be. Not that that matters, it's food and I am hungry.

Though I still don't know why it's called 'The Hunger Games', there's no such thing as hunger here.

Not even for the tributes from the outline districts. There are animals to hunt, and fruits hanging on trees and bushes.

I'm sure that this is better than in their districts. And us, the careers have enough food too.

I put the berries one by one in my mouth. They are pretty sour, and hot in taste.

I put my hands over my mouth and stand up. Water, I need water!

I hobble towards our stock of water bottles. I grab one and drink it. When I'm done I walk back, back to my berries.

When I arrive the bowl is empty. Berries can't walk away, so someone has eaten them.

'Who ate my berries?' I look around while i grab one of my knifes.


	35. Fire

'Which berries?' Marvel asks me.

'Nightlock' I smile slightly.

I look around myself and see Cato spitting out the berries and running towards the pyramid, for water.

'It wasn't Nightlock huh?' Marvel shakes his head.

I shrug 'Nope, he would be dead now if it really was Nightlock..'

After a while Cato walks back to us.

I throw my knife close to his head, missing deliberately.

Cato dodges, my knife sticks into the ground. 'Clove what the hell was that for?'

'Oh my god! Are you okay?' Glimmer shouts hysterically.

'You b*tch, you stole my berries.' I chuckle. I wanted to sound seriously, but I couldn't.

'What is Nightlock, by the way?' He asks me while he gets up.

'Berries who can kill you in a minute, I thought. Learned that in biology class.' I answer. 'I feel f*cking smart now.'

'Well I don't feel smart at all. Am I going to die?'

'It wasn't really Nightlock. If it was you already were dead.' I pat him on his shoulder.

'So are we going to hunt or something?' Marvel asks.

'Okay, why not. Everyone grab a weapon and let's go.' Cato says.

I walk to my knife, that still sticks in the ground. I seriously have to throw harder if I want to kill someone. I grab it, and place it back in my vest, where it belongs. I see the others walking towards the pyramid, to get a weapon.

'Ready?' I yell to them.

Nobody answers, but they're coming to me.

We walk as a group in the woods, searching tributes to kill.

'Why don't we split up?' Cato says.

'That's okay.' Marvel answers. 'We'll meet back up here okay?'

We all agree and walk in a different direction into the woods.

I'm looking around myself, all alone again. I'm pretty afraid that I meet Thresh somewhere, now I am alone, and no one is going to help me then.

I just continue walking by the river. I seriously need some medicine for my leg. The wound is getting worse, and I don't want to die from an infection. If I am going to die, I will die fighting. Not from a stupid infection.

I step with one foot into the water, all the sand and dust from my boots fade away in the water. The water is not bright blue as I hoped it would be, neither is the sky. Both are just grey, nothing more. Though it's calm weather, and it smells like, like what?

I sniff a few times. My heart skips a beat. _'Oh no, Not again!'_

I smell fire.

I stand on my toes to see the treetops, as far as possible.

I see smoke, and burning trees.

I'm save here, close to the river.. but where's the group? They can't see it coming there in the forest.

Actually I don't give a f*ck about the group, only about Cato. I have to find them. It's crazy that I am going into a burning forest, while I'm save here. '_Find the courage to do this. You don't have to win, Cato does. Do whatever it takes to let him win.'_ The voice in my head tells me.

I breathe in the fresh air for the last time before I walk into the forest. It can't be real fire right? The capitol has made them, and they can turn it off.. and fake flames can't hurt me right?

I walk into the woods and try to cover my mouth with my sleeve to not breathe in the smoke and ashes.

I can see pretty well, there is not that much smoke.

I run quickly through the burning trees till I finally see some silhouettes of people. They have to be the other careers.

I hobble towards them, and see Marvel, Glimmer and the girl from district 4.

'Where's Cato?' I ask them, breathing heavily.

'And Peeta?' the girl from 4 fills in.

'I don't know where Cato is.. but we have to find Peeta.' Marvel answers.

'Wait a second. You prefer Peeta over Cato?' I can't understand this!

'Uhm Clove.. Peeta has got information that we need, and Cato is the one to beat here. Don't you understand that? He is better off when he burns down somewhere.' Marvel tells me.

'You don't understand! I have to find him.' I tell him and walk away, but he grabs my arm.

'Just stay with us, we don't want you to get hurt. Cato is the one to beat here! Just let him die.'

'Let. Me. Go.' I mutter.

Marvel looses the grip on my arm. I run away immediately.

'What's wrong with her?' Glimmer shakes her head.

Guess that she didn't care either, first she was all flirty but now she wants him dead.

Can't wait for the moment that Cato is back in the group, just to see their reaction.

I walk further into the woods. 'Cato?' I shout.

It's not wise to scream here, I know that. It's just like my dream.

'Clove?' I hear someone yelling.

I turn around, but I can't see anyone. So I just keep on walking.

'Clove go away!' I'm sure it's Cato's voice.

'No. Why should I?' I shout back.

'Just shut up, it's too dangerous here.'

'Then where the f*ck are you?' I can't leave him here.

I hear footsteps running towards me. 'Here!' I turn around and see Cato, finally!

'We have to go to the river.' I tell him.

But he doesn't pay attention to what I'm saying, and looks to the right.

I roll my eyes 'I was talking to you! Just promise that we never split up ag-'

He pushes me hard to the ground, and falls too.

'Stay on the f*cking ground.' Cato mumbles.


	36. Trees

I caught the fall on my wrists, they hurt pretty much now. How the hell am I able to throw a knife like this?

I see a fire ball flying near my head. So that's the reason that Cato pushed me.

When the fire ball is gone he helps me getting up.

'Thanks' I mumble.

'Sorry...' Cato says.

'Let's move to the river, we can't stay here.' He says

'We never are going to split up again!' I tell him.

He just nods and we start running away from the burning trees.

I feel pain almost everywhere in my body. Sometimes it's just better to feel nothing, but I can't feel nothing right now. Every step I take hurts like hell.

'Marvel, Glimmer and that girl from 4 wanted you to die.' I say breathless.

'They what?!' Cato replies panting.

We both actually need a stop from the running, but we can't. If we stop, we'll die.

'They'll see when we arrive back at the cornucopia.' He says.

'I don't know where we will meet them again.'

Cato stumbles over a branch.

I turn around and keep on running backwards, to see if he fell down.

'Watch out, we're in a wood and it's burning down. There can be some falling branches!' I chuckle.

'Yeah, and falling tr- CLOVE DUCK.' He yells

. '_Ducks? In the woods?'_ I think.

Then I see a tree falling down above me.

I scream and try to jump away, but it's too late. The tree falls down on my leg.

'F*cking hell' I mutter 'It burns! Get this thing off me!'

Cato ran behind me.

'CATO, TREE!' I scream while I point with my free hand at the tree, who almost fell on him.

I'm not sure if it hit him or not, but he gets up again.

Why do these trees fall down! It's still burning at my leg, and I can't get it off me.

'For f*cks sake help me.' I say. 'I don't want to be a fire girl too okay.'

Cato stands next to me. 'Uh, I can't lift a burning tree. Sorry.'

'Well I can't lay under a burning tree, get that thing off me!' I whimper in pain.

'Clove, I. Can't. Lift. A. F*cking. Tree!'

'Then lift me' I dramatically put my arms in the air, like a little child who wants to be lifted up.

'Then I've got to lift you and the tree. I can't f*cking do that.' He shakes his head.

'Just do anything you can.'

My eyes fill with tears. What if I broke my leg? I can't break my leg in the hunger games. I just can't!

Cato sits beside me. 'If you are going to die, I'm going with you.' He kisses me on the top of my head and smiles slightly.

'No! Cato for f*cks sake one of us is getting out alive! Just help me getting this thing off me.' I say hysterically.

I try to kick the tree away with my other leg, while Cato tries to get my leg underneath the tree. What finally works!

Only I don't feel anything in my leg anymore. Well, at least feeling nothing is better than feeling too much!

I don't know how, but I can stand on it and just walk on it, but I don't feel anything. I'm sure my skin is burned under my pants, but who cares about some burns, and no feelings, I am still alive right!?

Cato lifts me, like I can't walk like this.

I'm sure I could walk, but though I don't hesitate about being carried.

I put my arms around his neck.

'I love you okay. I f*cking love you.' I mumble, loud enough for him to hear, quiet enough for any cameras who can film us right now.

You'll never know when they're filming you or not.

When we finally see the rest of the group Cato puts me down. I hobble while I lean on Cato.

Still not sure if I can walk on my own or not, but I don't doubt about any help now.

Marvel and Glimmer hurry towards us. 'Are you guys okay?' Marvel is shocked.

'Do I look okay?' I tell him.

'I told you to not go!' He rolls his eyes.

'Uh yeah about that..' Cato begins, but he is being interrupted.

'Look! There she is!' Marvel shouts at fire girl.

Who probably escaped from the fire too, and lays in the river now. Poor girl, she is going to die!

Marvel saved his own life with this interruption, I'm sure that Cato had killed him if he didn't saw her.

Cato sprints immediately towards fire girl, who runs away too.

We all follow him, even Peeta.

I try to run, what hurts now. I guess that this more looks like hobbling instead of running.

We run over the stones at the river, and suddenly Katniss climbs in a tree.

'Like that is going to help you out.' Glimmer shouts.

I thought that Fire girl was going to be scared, but she doesn't seem scared at all.

'How are you guys?' She asks us.

'Good enough' Cato yells to her 'What about you?'

'Personally I think it was pretty hot lately, up here it's way cooler! Are you coming too?'

Does she seriously think she is funny now?

'Good idea.'

Glimmer tries to handle her bow, but Cato refuses to use it. 'I can do this better with a sword.'

Cato climbs in the tree.

_'Please don't let him fall. He's probably hurt too, from the trees and branches out there.'_ I think _'Stay in that f*cking tree and don't fall down.'_

'I'm coming for you' He mumbles.

'Kill her Cato!' Glimmer and I yell, to support.

Marvel just stands there with a big smile.

'Come on Cato.' I say.

And then it went wrong, Cato grabs a weak branch, which breaks.

He falls down and lands hard on the ground. At least he landed, not like in my dream that I fell through the ground. But I'm sure he is in pain now.

Glimmer takes her bow and aims at Katniss.

She shoots an arrow, and misses.

Of course she missed! She is useless, as always.

She shoot another arrow, but misses again.

'Just leave her out there. She can't go anywhere right?' Peeta suggests 'We'll kill her tomorrow.'

I don't know why we agree with this plan. We still can kill her now right? Why are we giving up?

If my leg didn't hurt this much, I could climb that tree myself. I know it's useless to argue now, so I just don't say anything.

'Okay, somebody make a fire.' Cato finally says.


	37. Trackerjackers

Peeta, Glimmer and the girl from 4 are walking away to search dry wood for the fire.

I push my back against a tree and slowly sit down. I look up, and see Katniss sitting there.

Seriously, why did we gave up? We could have killed her.

But maybe it was just meant to be like this, we should make a real show of killing the fire girl.

The 3 make a fire of some lighters and the dry wood.

I'm so hungry, one of us should go back to get some food from the cornucopia.

We hid the food in the pyramid stable and we brought nothing with us, when we were going to hunt.

I'm not that type of person to hunt animals, but I guess that this time I don't have a choice. I want to eat, so I have to.

When they finally have made a fire, it's already getting dark. I feel the warmth coming to me.

I sit closer to the fire and warm myself.

The others do the same, it's pretty cold in the arena now.

I stare into the fire, blinded by the light. I wink a few times and see the flames again, but in other colours.

We were on fire a little time ago, now we're almost frozen.

I try to catch the warmth, but it isn't that easy. I don't know why I am so cold, and the rest is acting like they're not, maybe they are not cold at all.

_Nowadays you can't trust anybody, everything may be just an act._

_Peeta is still chasing Katniss, they're in 'love' right? Then why the hell has he made up this plan? To kill her tomorrow._

_ We kept him alive, to lead us to fire girl. After his job is done, we would kill him anyways. _

_He's so dumb, and at the same time unbelievable annoying. _

_He was able to tell Panem that he 'loved' her forever. Maybe he does really love her, but if you're in love with somebody then that person won't beat you to a wall and tell that person that he made you look weak. _

_If you're in love with somebody you don't only act like you are in love for the cameras. That's even more pathetic than my situation, not acting like we're in love for the cameras, while we are in love._

_Suddenly we came to the point where the question is not 'When are you in love.' But 'What is love?' _

_The answer is too easy; love is putting someone else's needs before yours. _

_And that does not include the fact that he is willing to kill her, to save his life. _

_I'm pretty sure that as I would be in that situation, I would let myself be killed. No matter how hard love can be, I would never tell other people where they could find Cato, and kill me afterwards. The clue is actually pointless, lover boy and fire girl are acting like they're in love, but they're not._

_For f*cks sake they're just acting for the cameras, game makers and whole f*cking Panem that they're in love. Those people don't deserve to win, they're too fake, and the world doesn't need more fake people. I will do everything to kill them._

_ No one will live forever, we just be remembered for what we do now. _

_And all I am going to do now, in the arena, is going to kill them!_

Cato hold his sword in the fire, it glows a yellow-orange fire colour. When he puts it out again he blows on it. The colours change, into a more bright yellow.

'Boys…' Glimmer giggles.

I'm annoyed by the fact that she's still living. I just roll my eyes and don't spend any attention at her, but on a lizard.

Normally I would be shocked as I saw a lizard, but I'm not shocked at all. Actually I'm quite calm.

I want to play with the lizard, we're still in the Hunger Games right? 'Games' are meant to be played, and I'm going to win these games.

I grab one of my knifes and hold it in my right hand. I throw it, the knife twirls and sticks in the little lizard.

It isn't dead yet, poor lizard. I'll put it out of its misery, that sounds like a fair deal right?

I grab another knife and throw it in the same lizard. There's no sign of life in the little animal anymore.

My stomach growls. '_Shall I-I eat it?'_ I think, and look around.

Usually I wouldn't even think about eating a lizard, but I could use some energy now.

I look around myself on the ground, and grab a sturdy stick. With my knife I sharpen it, it almost looks like a spear.

I pin the lizard on the stick and hold it above the fire.

'What are you doing?' Marvel asks me.

I'm sure my face is turning red, ashamed of the fact that I'm going to eat a f*cking lizard.

'I'm hungry, maybe you should find something to eat too' I reply while I roll my eyes.

I twist the stick with the lizard on it, so the other side is turning brown too. But actually I'm not sure if it meant to be brown.

After a while I pull back the stick, and feel the lizard, it's warm enough.

I use my fingers to pull off its skin, and to eat the little bones with flesh.

It's not the best I've eaten, but it's okay I guess.

I still don't have the choice to eat something else.

My eyelids feel heavy, I'm getting tired. Maybe I should take some sleep.

I make a pillow from my jacket and lay my head on it, facing towards the fire. It may be not completely dark, but when I open my eyes again I don't want to look at a scary animal.

I close my eyes and drift off to a light sleep.

When I slowly open my eyes again I see dark, the fire is not burning anymore, and it's still night.

When my eyes get used to the darkness, and I'm finally able to see, I see that Peeta is the one awake.

I turn my head around and see Glimmer laying with her head on Cato's arm.

The feeling in my chest is back, like it wants to push in my ribs or heart. Maybe it wants to make my heart smaller, so I could feel less love and then I wouldn't be hurt the whole f*cking time.

Maybe it isn't only jealousy, but more disappointment.

If I could only kill her right now, I would do that. But suddenly karma will visit her right? Actually I don't think that karma is going to help me out of this, or the f*cking Hunger Games. I guess that I should have to do everything alone again, as always.

I close my eyes and fall asleep again, no dreams at all.

I get waken by a bomb of a thousand zooming insects. They prick me, and it hurts like hell.

I quickly get up, trying to slap all the insects off me.

The rest is waking up too, no time to think, just run.

I sprint away, still slapping around to kill these Trackerjackers.

'To the river.' Cato yells, he's running in front of me I guess.

I can't see anything, everything is blurry again. I just follow the silhouette in front of me.

I try to focus on my steps, so I don't pass out.

Suddenly I stumble over a branch on the ground. I trip over a rock, and then into the water.

I'm underwater and swim up. Cato still stands on one of the rocks. '

Watch out, there are branches where you can fall over, we're still in a forest you know' He tells me.

I chuckle 'I know, just tested it.'

Marvel jumps next to me in the water.

Only me, Marvel and Cato are here, where the hell is the rest of the group? Or did karma finally did her job?

'Wait here!' Cato tells us.

He runs away, into the woods again.

I hear a voice yelling 'GO, KATNISS WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GO!' That can't be anyone but Peeta!

I get myself out of the water and sprint after Cato.

I fall over my own feet, and lay down onto the ground. The hallucinations and the blur are too much now, I can't f*cking walk anymore.

I try to see what's happening and look around myself. I see that Cato is fighting with Peeta and almost cutting his leg off. I smile a bit, take that lover boy!

When I look further I see the corpses of the girl from 4, and Glimmer.

Karma has done her job, finally that b*tch died. I smile even more, but then everything becomes blurry again, and turns white.

I'm not seeing anything, but though I know I'm not dying. I can't die. I have to fight, I have to be remembered by the people who're watching the Hunger Games, like whole f*cking Panem.

'Fight against the pain.' I want to tell myself, out loud. But nothing more than a very quiet whisper is coming out of my mouth.


	38. One step closer

I try to open my eyes, the ground isn't as hard as before, when I fell down.

I hear some sounds of water. I must be at the river.

I don't have my head laying on something hard, it feels more like a pillow, but it isn't that soft.

I look to see what it is, my head still hurts and I'm feeling dizzy. It's just my jacket, rolled up.

'Hey, you're awake.' I hear Cato saying.

'Well yeah, it seems like I'm awake.' I reply.

'You know you were asleep for like 36 hours?'

'Then how the hell am I still tired?' I shake my head, but I stop doing that immediately, it hurts.

'Probably the Trackerjackers.' Marvel sits down on one of the rocks.

I nod, I didn't die from these Trackerjackers, but my head still feels so dizzy. Trackerjackers, this morning we lost half our group.

'What happened to the rest of the group?' I ask Cato.

'The girl from 4 and Glimmer died from these Trackerjackers, probably it was fire girl who took her bow and arrows. When I saw Glimmer laying there, it was gone.' He responds. 'So I saw Peeta yelling to Katniss that she had to run away, he warned her, so we didn't go after her I think. I didn't think that was our deal, so I went in a fight with him. I made a deep cut in his leg, he's injured now and may die soon.'

'That son of a b*tch, what the hell does he think he is? For f*cks sake, we had a deal with him! He is just continuing their stupid love act, for the sponsors. Why the hell do they think that they're going to make it out alive this way?' I feel the anger burning inside of me. It's all just a f*cking act!

'So what do you think, are we going back to the Cornucopia?' Cato asks us.

'Yeah, I'm starving.' I answer.

'That's okay' Marvel says.

I grab my jacket off the ground and put it on.

It's pretty good weather, warm and sunny, but I don't want to carry it.

Marvel stands up from the rock, and we walk on our way back to the Cornucopia.

'So who are left now?' I ask them, while we walk back.

'We three, the boy from 3, the girl from 5, the boy from 10. The little girl from 11, Thresh, and Peeta and Katniss.'

'Maybe we underestimated district 11 and 12, both tributes from these districts are still alive?' Marvel tells us.

I look at Cato. 'Clove and I are still alive too.' He rolls his eyes.

'What if they have an alliance too? I mean, what was the last time that there were so many outline district tributes, and just 3 careers?' Marvel continues 'It's 3 against 7. They could form an actually danger.'

'And then there's Thresh.' I stick together with Marvel in this discussion.

A cold tingle is running through my body as I think about Thresh.

'We just kill them one by one, outline districts never form a group alliance.' Cato says while he puts his arm around me.

Actually I don't give a f*ck about the camera's anymore.

'They're alone, or with two of them. Even in a one against two situation we still have a big chance of winning. There's nothing to be afraid of, as long as we just stay alive. We'll kill each other in the final.' Cato looks at Marvel, what makes sure that he wants to kill him, and not me.

Cato was right, even in a one against two situation we have a chance. But I'm sure that if I have to fight against Thresh and another tribute, that my cannon is going to be the one who echoes through the Arena.

* * *

We finally arrive at the Cornucopia, everything seems the same, nobody had the courage to steal our food or tents.

'They thought that we were still here. That's why nobody came here I guess.' Marvel says.

I agree, but don't reply.

I sit down on one of the wooden benches. My legs feel entirely bruised, and so tired.

Since the games started I can't think like myself anymore. It's like there is a demon inside of me, who wants to kill everyone without any mercy. I know that there is no other option, I don't want to be the one who died. Why can't anyone tame the animal I've become.

I could have known that if I sat down, I wouldn't get up again that easily. '_Just fight against the pain.'_ I think, and try to stand up.

I waddle towards the boxes with food, and grab a lot of food, sticks of meat, fruit and bread. Of course it's not all for me, I'll share it.

I walk back to the benches and drop the food in the middle. I grab a little bit from everything and sit back down.

I chew on a meat stick, it doesn't taste as good as before, it's so dry.

Actually I shouldn't care about that, I have food and should be happy about that.

'Are we going to hunt after we've finished our dinner?' I ask them.

'Yeah.' Cato replies.

This can going to be awkward, I'm the only girl now in this group. But actually I'm glad that Glimmer died, and I didn't care about that girl from 4 either.

I'm cleaning my knifes from all the blood on it, while I wait till Marvel and Cato are finished.

I stroke my knife in the grass and the dried blood crumbles.

When they're finally done with eating I force myself to stand up.

It's slowly getting dark, but light enough to see other tributes without any light.

We walk into the woods, it's darker here.

The Cornucopia is more an open field, where all the light of the sun is able to reach. But here in the forest, the sun can't lighten all of it.

We walk for like 2 hours, and then finally we find another tribute.

The boy from 10, he is 18 years old and may be big, but though he had not a very high score, we shouldn't overrate this kind of people.

No time to play with our victims now, just kill them. The boy already knows that we've seen him, so there is no way out to run now. I see him looking at us three, like he wants to select one of us to fight with him.

Surprisingly he attacks me. He quickly swings his sword at my head.

I dodge it and try to grab one of my knifes, but it is stuck in the holder.

I begin to panic, no weapon and there's a way bigger guy in front of me.

When he attempts to slice my head off again I kick him in the balls.

He falls down in pain, he's rolling on the ground.

Probably that was one of the weakest options I could have, to kick someone in the balls in a f*cking arena where we have to kill each other.

Marvel and Cato look surprisingly at me, and both slowly take a step back.

'What?' I smile slightly. This is one of those awkward moments, I was sure it was going to happen.

I look down at the still rolling body of the boy from 10.

'Put it out of its misery.' Cato tells me.

'Don't call me an it!' The boy sounds angry.

'You **are** an it.' I try to grab my knife again, but it's still stuck.

I walk to Cato and grab his sword.

Then I walk back to the boy on the ground.

'Yeah okay, you can have that.' Cato says.

I stab the boy from 10 right in his heart.

'It is going to die.' I point at him, and walk back to Marvel and Cato.

I give Cato his sword back.

The cannon sounds. 'It's dead now.' Marvel says.

One more kill, one more down, one step closer to the crown.

* * *

We walk further in the forest, searching for more tributes.

It's more fun to play with the victim while killing. Then they can have a happy ending.

After a while we find the boy from district 3. He's smaller than me.

Cato walks up to the little boy, and immediately wants to kill him.

'Slow down, we've got the time.' I say.

'All the time!' The boy fills in. 'Don't you think that it's a good plan to keep me alive?' He tries to smile.

'Why should we?' Cato says.

'I uh.. I can help you?'


	39. Blown up

'I swear, I can help you.' The boy mutters.

Cato turns around 'Do we need help?'

'Maybe, we just lost half our team you know?' Marvel says.

'Pff okay, we'll find a job for you, but when we don't need you anymore, you die.' Cato rolls his eyes.

'Uh, okay.' The boy stands up, and walks towards me.

He holds out his hand 'I'm Jason.'

I just stand there awkwardly, not shaking his hand. This is not a place to make new friends, and by the way, he already knows my name.

Cato stands behind Jason, who is still holding his hand out. And holds his sword against his throat 'If you do that one more f*cking time you're dead too.'

I smile a bit, knowing that this might be really awkward for Jason, but I'm sure that he prefers an awkward moment over death.

'Let's go back, it's getting dark.' Marvel suggest.

I walk next to Cato back to the Cornucopia.

'So what are you going to help us with?' I ask Jason.

'Well I.. uh.. I can rebury the mines?' He replies.

'What are we going to do with mines?' I sound confused.

'I'll bury them around the place where you've hidden the food and weapons, no one can steal it. If they do, they're being blown up to the sky.'

'Okay, that's a plan.'

We arrive at the cornucopia again.

'Where do I sleep?' Jason asks us.

'Take that tent.' Cato points at the tent were Peeta and the girl from 4 were used to sleep.

I walk to my tent and kick out my boots.

'You can bury those mines tomorrow morning.' Marvel tells him. 'We're going to sleep now.'

I'm not sure if someone is going to wait outside tonight, but I don't feel like doing it either.

I get in the sleeping bag and lay my head down.

Cato gets in the tent too.

Cato and I are growing back together since that b*tch Glimmer died. I'm glad that we are, because I couldn't stand any longer that acting like we didn't love each other. I don't give a f*ck anymore about the cameras or the citizens of Panem who're watching the Games.

I am just going to be me, and I'm still in love. Only I'm not going to overact like Katniss and Peeta. I'm not going to be as fake as them.

I slowly fall asleep, but my sleeps in the Arena are too restless to dream.

I turn around a few times, and then open my eyes.

Cato is still sleeping, he doesn't look like a killer at all now.

I sit up and grab my jacket, which I used as a pillow.

I quietly zip the tent open and get out.

It's sunny, but there's pretty much wind. Actually I don't even know if this is the real sun, maybe it's just a capitol made sun and then they could control all the weather here and that's pretty weird. Weird enough for the capitol people and game makers.

Only Marvel is awake yet. I sit on the wooden bench next to him.

'Hey.' He says.

'Hey..' I respond

'How many are there left now?' I ask him.

'9. Me, You and Cato and the boy from 3. The girl from 5, both from 11 and 12.'

'What's that with these outline districts? How can both their tributes still be alive?' I shake my head.

'We'll change that soon.' Marvel says.

'I seriously can't wait to see Peeta and fire girl dying.'

'Me neither.' Cato walks out of the tent and sits with us.

'Where's Jason?' Cato asks us

'Still asleep. This is probably the first time he is able to sleep.' Marvel answers.

'I don't give a f*ck, we don't have all day. Clove, wake him up.' Cato says.

I shrug 'Okay.' And walk off to Jason's tent.

I zip it open and step inside of it. 'Hey you, wake up.' I tell him.

The boy turns around again. 'Who are you?' He mumbles, still with his eyes closed.

'I'm Clove.' I roll my eyes.

'Oh you.. You aren't going to hurt me right?' I don't know if he could sound more pathetic.

'Not if you get up now. So better hurry.'

He opens his eyes and sits up.

I step out of the tent and walk back to Cato and Marvel. 'He is awake.' I tell them and sit next to Cato.

Jason walks out of the tent too.

'Hey Jason, we are going to hunt, then you are going to bury those mines okay?' Marvel suggests.

'One of you has to stay here. In case I get attacked while doing these mines.' Jason shakes his head.

'Okay.. who's staying here?'

'Hey, you aren't going to tell us what to d-'

I interrupt Cato 'It's okay, you two go hunt, I'll stay here.'

'You're sure?' He asks me.

I just nod.

Cato walks towards Jason. 'If you only touch her I'll kill you.' He mumbles.

I smile slightly and shake my head.

'Oh in that case, just let her go with you, I'll do this on my own.' Jason says.

This doesn't feel right, not at all.

Jason shrugs 'Safety first right?'

That doesn't even make sense. I walk up to Cato and stand next to him.

'Wake up, you're still dreaming I guess. We are in the Hunger Games here. You better focus on these stupid mines before you blow up all our food! No one touches my food. No. One.' I tell Jason.

He nods and Cato, I and Marvel walk away into the forest.

'That kid is weird, seriously.' Marvel shakes his head.

We walk in the forest for a few hours, but can't find anyone.

'Where the hell are all those tributes? They have to be somewhere.' Cato says.

I feel my heartbeat booming everywhere in my body.

'We have to kill at least one tribute today..' Marvel mumbles.

My legs still hurt, and I don't know how long I can keep walking like this.

'Shall we go back? This is useless.' I ask them, knowing that it sounds stupid. It's like giving up, and we should never give up.

But we don't find anyone, we've been walking for hours and found nobody. We better return.

'Okay, let's go back.' Cato says.

We make our way back to the cornucopia, which is not as long as I thought it would be.

My legs are seriously giving up, but I have to walk. I can't just stop walking here.

When we arrive at the Cornucopia, Jason already has buried all the mines.

We all sit down and grab some water to drink. We have to stay alive, we can't die from an infection or dehydration. If we die, we die fighting.

'Look over there!' Marvel says, and points at some smoke twirling up in the air.

Someone made a fire, with a lot of smoke. Personally I wouldn't trust this, but I stand up and follow Marvel and Cato.

'Wait.' Cato says, and walks back. He grabs a spear and pushes it in Jason's hands. 'You'll wait here!'

The boy nods and sits down on a box.

Cato, Marvel and I run towards the fire.

'Are we sure that it isn't a trap?' I doubt.

'Of course it isn't a trap, just another stupid tribute who wants to die.' Cato answers.

We run further into the forest as we hear a big bang.

This wasn't just a cannon, it was way times harder than that.

'The mines!' I tell them, while I run back to the cornucopia.

The rest follows me. 

As we reach the cornucopia everything is blown up. Nothing but ash and dust, all our food and supplies... gone!

'What the f*cking hell happened!?' I stare with my mouth open at the supplies.

'We'll kill the person who did this.' Marvel mutters.

Cato seems very, very angry. He kicks everything on his path.

'Cato calm down..' I say quietly, I couldn't find the courage to say it out loud.

I see Jason walking in circles, still with the spear in his hands, probably searching to blame someone for it.

Cato looks around and sees the boy too, he walks towards him.

'Did you do this?!' Cato grabs the spear out of his hands and throws it at the ground.

I hobble towards them 'Cato what the f*ck calm down!'

It doesn't work at all. I know Cato longer than just today, in this mood he will kill everyone he sees, maybe even including me.

I take a step back.

He holds Jason in a headlock, simply twists his head, and the dead body falls onto the ground.

I stare with my eyes wide open to the corpse.

That couldn't went that easy?! Is he.. is he dead?

Cato still seems angry, and search for someone else to kill.

Too bad for me, that I'm standing the nearest.

I want to run away when he walks towards me, but I try to keep as calm as possible.

I'm freaking out on the inside, but I try to stay calm.

When Cato stands in front of me, almost ready to kill me, I still stand there, looking in his eyes, which are a shade darker blue than usual.

I'm sure that he has the same kind of 'Demon' inside, but that still doesn't give him the right to kill me.

'You weren't going to kill me right? Keep your promises!' I tell him, turn around and walk away.

I am f*cking scared on the inside, but no one is going to know that.

Cato still follows me.

I was expecting another attack, but Cato just walks next to me.

'Sorry, I couldn't control myself..' He mumbles, and stares in front of himself.

I look at his sword, his grip on it is still tightened.

'It's okay. I've got the same problem.'


	40. Always

I think it's the best to leave Cato alone right now, but I don't want to leave. He just needs another victim to kill, maybe can I find one somewhere in the woods.

Then I realise that the person who did this, can't be far away.

'Why don't we search the motherf*cker who did this?' I ask them. 'There's nothing left to protect, and we can't let that person go away with this right?'

'Yeah why not? She can't be far away?' Marvel answers.

'How do you know it's a girl?' I frown.

'Come on, we all know it was Katniss, she tries to ruin everything we have.' Marvel tells us.

Katniss, of course it was Katniss. I want to kill her more than anyone.

'That b*tch stole our show at the chariot rides and interviews. With that stupid fire twirling thing. She tries to manipulate everything, we can't let her do that! That stupid love act from them, while I-' I cut off my sentence, nobody can know this.

'While you what?'

'No, nothing. I just can't accept it that we've trained our whole life for this. And then such a pathetic outline district comes and ruins everything.' I roll my eyes.

'Well then just lets search her, and kill her.' Marvel answers.

Cato, Marvel and I walk into the forest again.

We've got to make her pay for this, she can't manipulate this.

We didn't have a childhood, because we had to train. Now the time has finally came and we're in the arena. Then a weird girl from district f*cking 12 came here, and stole our show. She and that Peeta thing ruined everything, just like the Capitol. Why does everyone wants to ruin others lifes?

'It's quicker when we split up, more chance of finding her.' Marvel says.

I agree 'Okay, see you guys later.'

I walk on another way than them, my footsteps make the dried leaves crackle.

Actually I didn't ever want to split up again, I have to stay with Cato.

What if I walk into Thresh soon? I'm dead before anyone can notice me.

I decide to walk slower. So there's less chance of meeting someone.

Suddenly I hear a cannon echoing though the Arena. I look around myself.

'Cato?!' It's more like a silent scream, no voice is coming out of my mouth.

Maybe that's better, if someone sat here then that person would notice me, and probably attack me.

I hear another cannon.

What if it were both Marvel and Cato? Then I was all alone right now.

'_No Clove, they can't be dead. Not this quickly.'_ I tell myself, and walk on.

I look behind me, there's no one.

When I turn my head again, to look in front of myself, I bump into someone.

A cold shiver runs through my body, knowing that I could be dead in a few seconds.

'Calm down, it's just me.' I recognize the voice, it's Cato.

I hug him immediately 'I thought that you were dead.'

He hugs me back, grinning. 'I'm not dead that easy.'

We stand there for a few minutes, knowing that we have to move on and find other tributes. Though, I don't want to let go. I don't care about the camera's anymore. I am going to spend (maybe) the last time of my life as me. Not as a monster the capitol made of me.

'Did you found someone?' He asks me.

I step back 'No, did you?'

'Nope, but from who were these cannons?'

'No idea, but I do know that we reached the last 6.'

'So it's almost over?' There's a little spark of hope inside of me.

There are 18 tributes dead, there are only 4 others. This could be our games, we could be victors.

I'm not sure about that 'we' part, because there is only one who comes out.

It's hard thinking of winning when you know that one of us is going down.

I don't even know if I even want to win or not. Cato deserves this win more than me. But though, all this time back in district, were I've fought through. I didn't want to give up, I had to fight. It's hard to try to fight for your life, while you've never been alive.

I'm not scared of dying, it's just the way of how you're getting down. It's hard to fight against something you love.

Every single death of a tribute, means a step closer to the crown.

When Cato and I are the last two, one of us has to die, and I'm afraid that I could kill him when I'm in a rush of adrenaline.

It may be weird, but I could wish that the time in the arena would last longer.

I've always lived in a shadow of a goodbye, and I don't want to say 'goodbye' to the last person that I love...

When Cato is dead, I'm dead too. It's no use to win!

'You have no idea how happy I am that you're still alive.' I tell him.

I still feel sad because of the fact that I have to control myself every time I want to hug or kiss him.

We've found love in a hopeless place. And I still can't stand the fact that Peeta and Katniss are able to 'love' each other, while they aren't in love at all.

The blood inside of me almost starts boiling.

'Come on, let's go back to the cornucopia. It's getting dark.' Cato says.

'Okay.' I respond as we return to the cornucopia.

It's pretty funny how we've been here not a very long time, and I know almost the ways of the whole Arena.

'Where is Marvel by the way?' I ask Cato.

'I don't know, but we shouldn't worry about him. In the end we had to kill him anyways.' He answers.

We walk a bit faster, in case that more of these capitol made mutts are coming for us.

When we reach the cornucopia everything is black.

'Is it wise to sleep here? We're only with two of us now.'

'Yeah true, but where do we have to sleep then?'

'In a- uh.. in a tree?' I smile slightly.

'Not sure if I can climb one.' Cato smiles, and looks down.

'Nah, I'll help you.'

Our conversation gets interrupted by the Anthem of Panem. We look up at the sky and see the symbol.

First there's Marvel's face, later the one of Rue.

'So Marvel is dead. Okay then.' Cato mumbles.

'Only we, Thresh, Foxface and fire girl and lover boy are left.'

'We can win this if we stay together.' He sounds a bit too confident.

'So tell me, are you going to leave me?' I look at him.

'No, of course not.' He shakes his head like there is some disbelief. 'We'll stay together, right?'

I nod 'Always?'

'Always.'


	41. Don't let me fall

I don't want to care anymore of what will happen if we're the last two. I just stay together as long as possible.

I am not going to leave Cato in these games. No, I will never leave, never!

'Okay, grab what we need, then we are going to find a tree.' He tells me.

I walk inside the tent and roll the sleeping bags in their bags.

The 'group/team' feeling is totally gone, they're all dead. It's only me and Cato now, and I'm happy for that. All these other people were standing in my way, and that annoyed me till death.

I search for everything what isn't destroyed by the mines.

My eye catches two glasses on the ground. These are the special glasses the capitol made, they function as glasses which you can see through in the dark. This might be useful. I grab them from the ground and stick them in a backpack.

I should be worried about the fact that we don't have any food anymore, but actually I'm not worried at all.

I know why fire girl did this. Like seriously, how dumb does she thinks that we are?

It's all about hunting, she probably thinks we can't hunt. If we can't hunt, we can't get food. If our food is blown up, we don't have food anymore, and we can't hunt either. Well too bad Katniss, I don't need much food to survive. I am going to die here while I'm fighting, not from starvation, dehydration or an infection.

'Ready?' Cato asks me, while he puts the last things in a backpack.

'I guess so, did you find some food?' I walk towards him.

'Nope, did you?'

'Nah, I'll eat you.'

'Pretty sure that I taste delicious.' He grins.

'Of course you do.' I roll my eyes. 'Let's go.'

We walk into the forest, searching for a good place to find shelter. A thick tree can be useful, I don't know where we should sleep if that wasn't possible. But though, were in a forest, there has to be a good tree right?

My stomach growls, I should have taken breakfast this morning. I totally forgot that, I would have eaten if I knew that all the food was gone after our hunting, but I couldn't know that the mines were going to blow it away, I'm not magical or something.

'How are we going to find food now?' Cato asks me.

'Uhm, can we hunt animals or something?'

'That's okay, but I'm not going to run after a f*cking squirrel.'

'Then use your f*cking spear, silly.' I shake my head.

'Okay, but what if these are fake squirrels?'

'Fake squirrels?' I'm confused, how the hell can fake squirrels exist?

'You know, made by the capitol. Maybe they're not real animals, with meat and stuff, and when you try to eat it you eat nothing but a sort of balloon-looking meat.'

'I didn't thought about that, but thanks for making me think that if I ever eat a squirrel, that I eat a balloon. I really appreciate that.' I smile to make it more sarcastic.

'You're welcome.' Cato grins.

We continue walking for a while.

* * *

'Why don't we get up here?' I point at a tree, which isn't that hard to climb, but though it's pretty thick.

'Okay fine, but it's your fault if I fall out.'

'You're not going to fall again.' I chuckle as I climb in the tree.

I step on a branch and clamp myself to the tree like a koala.

'Sh*t I am going to fall.' I mutter.

I can't grab anything, neither can I set my feet anywhere. I just hang there with my arms and legs clamping to the tree.

'CATCH!' I yell at Cato, who stands underneath the tree.

I let myself fall backwards. For a moment I see a flashback of my dream, in which I fell out a tree, and there was no one to catch me. I just fell into the ground.

Luckily Cato does catch me. I set both feet on the ground again.

'Thanks that was just a uh.. a little trust test.' I tell him.

Actually I'm so damn happy that he doesn't let me fall again. If he did I was probably dead now. Dead on the inside, and outside.

'Now try it again, you aren't going to give up, are you?' Cato looks at the tree.

'That's funny.. I wasn't the one who fell out of the tree and didn't try again.' I smile slightly.

'Just kidding.' I add quickly, before he takes it too seriously.

I set my feet on a branch again, and climb this time better in the tree, by not making the same mistake again. If you climb a tree, and you think that you're a koala, you fall. Wise lesson learned here.

I swing my leg over a thick branch and sit down on it.

'You coming?' I look down at Cato, who still stands there underneath the tree.

Cato starts climbing up the tree too, till he's stuck at the same part as me.

'Just keep the motivation that you can climb trees, and don't act like you're a koala.' I chuckle.

'Well okay.' He says back, just like he did when Katniss sat in the tree. 'I'm coming for you.'

I don't want to look as pathetic as she did, so I just make a parody of her acting, I'm sure that the capitol will film this.

I spread my arms, like I want to hug him or something. 'Go ahead, come at me bro.'

'On my way.'

'Don't fall again huh? There's no one to help you down there.'

'Well that sucks. Why not?' He mumbles as he tries to grab another branch.

While everyone is being serious with surviving in the games, we just try to make the best of it. This may be our last days, so why being so serious?

As we get the taste of blood, of course we would try to kill everyone, but no one is here. No victim, no one to kill, no step closer to the crown, and I'm happy about that. I don't want to end this games already, even if I would win. I want to stay, with Cato.

'Come on Cato, kill her!' I yell at him, just like when he was chasing Katniss in that tree.

'Kill who?' He looks misunderstood at me.

'Uhm, the tree?'

'I can't, it's my friend.' He says, as he hugs the tree, just like a koala.

I sigh, I warned him for this.

He starts slipping, and falls at the ground.

'Oh my god, are you okay?' I stare shocked at him, he could be dead now.

I hold my breath, but release it as he sits up. 'I thought you were dead!' I yell.

'I'm not dead that easily, remember?'

He stands up and tries to climb the tree again.

'No one is completely alive after a friend lets you fall. Neither on the inside, as on the outside.' I tell him, but he doesn't answer.

I look down at the brown branches of the tree, he knows that I meant him.

But it's okay, it's time for the citizens of Panem to know that we, the Careers, have feelings too.

I'm pretty sure that Cato and I won't **ever** let each other fall again.


	42. Fishes

Cato starts climbing in the tree again. I try to shut my mouth, sometimes it's better to say nothing.

After a while Cato finally sits on the branch next to me. It's a weird tree, usual the branches don't grow aside each other, but on the other side of the tree.

'Are you okay?' I ask him one more time, I'm still shocked.

I wasn't like my jump off the building, I knew that there was a force field down there. But Cato really fell, what must hurt pretty much.

'Can't be better.' He answers.

I grab the backpack from my back and lay it on my lap. I open it and grab the sleeping bags, I give Cato one of them.

I zip it open and get in. I'm not sure if I can find a comfortable position to sleep in, I'm sleeping on a thick branch, of course I can't find a comfortable position.

'Aren't you afraid to fall out?' Cato looks at me, and then down at the ground.

I shrug 'I jumped off a 13 floors building, this isn't so high.'

'But if you fall, you're dead, there is no force field to save you.'

'I won't fall. Though if I fall, it doesn't matter at all. I'm dead anyways.'

'You're not going to die?'

'You are not going to lose.' I respond. I feel the tears burning in my eyes, but I won't cry, that's weak.

'Clove, if I win I still lose. Winning is no goal anymore. We win, together or not at all remember?'

'How can you lose when you win?' I frown, not understanding him.

'Why should I even want to win and live when you're dead? I've already lost you then.'

'Let's just stay alive as long as possible, maybe we'll find a way to both get out of this.' I look down, knowing that there won't be a way to both get out.

I'm afraid of how much it will hurt when I die, but more how much it will hurt to see Cato die. I don't think I'll ever know how that feels, and I'm glad to.

I'm sure that Cato lasts longer here than me, and when I'm already dead, I don't have to see him dying.

There's still a fire inside of me, burning the hope that Cato will win.

I sigh 'Goodnight.'

'Goodnight' He responds.

I close my eyes, but the thoughts are keeping me awake.

_How hard is it to fight, when you've got nothing to fight for back home? Everyone is dead already, except Cato. I've always lived in a shadow of a goodbye, but when he's gone too, everything will be only some darkness without any light. But though, I have one last job here. Make sure that Cato wins. That is my only chance of being happy again. Why does my mind change my feelings so quickly, less than an hour ago I was happy, and tried to make the best of it while we're still here. But now I'm only thinking about how it shall be when one of us dies._

I try to cut my thoughts off, and grab Cato's hand. 'I don't want to fall out again.' I mumble.

'Me neither.'

'What if Enobaria and Brutus would see this?' I chuckle quietly.

I'm sure that they would standing there like ''What the f*ck are they doing?''

'Probably hitting the TV or worse.' He grins.

I don't give a f*ck anymore, about any camera's that might be here.

We almost didn't get anything from the sponsors, not that we needed something. But it doesn't matter if we are, or aren't in love. They give you gifts if you need it.

But why did they gave district 12 stuff? If they didn't Peeta would be already dead now, and I didn't hear any cannon.

I close my eyes once again, and drift off to a not very comfortable sleep.

* * *

When I open them again, I still sit in the tree. I'm happy that I didn't fall out.

I slowly move my leg, what hurts like hell, it feels bruised. I slept the whole night in this position, now it feels like I'm broken.

I look at Cato, he is awake too. Longer than me I guess.

I sit up and set my back against the stump, slowly because it hurts.

I don't know if I can run and climb like this, but I don't have a choice. I have to run, I have to fight, if I don't, then I'll die.

'I'm hungry.' Cato mumbles.

'Me too.' I look down. 'Let's hunt some animals.'

It sounds so easy, but actually it's not. Maybe for the outline districts hunting is easier, but we in 2 never had too less food. Well we didn't, some families were poor and they had less food to eat, but there was no such thing as starvation. I don't even know how to hunt.

'Well, let's go.' I mumble while I swing my leg over the branch and search something to stand on.

I climb down, not making the same stupid mistakes as yesterday. Cato doesn't struggle that much either.

We stand on the ground and grab the weapons, which we might need to kill animals.

'Is it easier to go fishing?' Cato says.

'Maybe, let's try it.' I answer.

We walk towards the river, saying nothing.

I step into the water. All the dirt from my boots fades away in the water.

I grab the spear and stab a few times in the water, which is pretty clear.

It isn't that hard to see the fishes now, but it is hard to catch them. They're so small and quickly, how the hell am I able to stab them?

I try it a few times, and finally a small fish sticks at the point of the spear.

I almost want to give the fish a name, but I don't because it's stupid to give a fish a name here in the arena, where everything is about surviving.

I lay it on the place where we collect the fishes, but it's the only one yet.

I've got to find a friend for my lonely fish. I stab a few times into the water, and catch more fishes.

After a while my lonely fish has got many, many fish-friends. Not that it matters, they're dead already and we're going to eat them.

I sit down on the rocks and count them. 23 dead fishes, same number as tributes who die in the games each year.

Every fish is a life, which is gone now. I feel bad for the fishes, not for the tributes. Tributes can fight, fishes can't. I just impaled them with a spear, maybe they had dreams too. Maybe they had families too, what they cared about. Everyone feels bad about the tributes who die, but nobody thinks about these poor fishes here.

I shake my head, I feel like a fool. A fool who cares about the life's of 23 little fishes. Though, it's all about surviving.

'We've got pretty much fishes, and we're not even from district 4!' Cato grins.

'Hell yeah.' I say as happily possible, but I still feel bad for them.

Cato and I are still the careers, and the fishes died for us, so we would survive.

But still, there's only one victor, too bad that is not a fish.

Seriously, people should care about these fishes, they're cute, but scary and with big eyes. But though, you have to get a little sympathy for them.

'Let's go back.' I suggest.

Cato and I walk back through the wood, on our way to find a good place to make a fire.

As we finally find one we throw all the weapons on the ground and sit down, still carrying the fishes in a little grey backpack.

'Okay, now how are we going to make a fire?' Cato mumbles.

'Dry wood.' I answer, sounding pretty smart.

That's the problem of my life, I underestimate myself, everyone underestimates me.

Sometimes it turns out good, underestimating is still better than overestimating.

I rub the two dried branches against each other, there's smoke coming off. Slowly the smoke turns into fire, and I lay them down.

The small burning fire is turning bigger.

Cato grabs two sticks and sharpens them with my knife.

When he's finally done he handles me one of the sticks, and my knife back.

We don't talk as much as before, but what should we talk about? There's nothing left to say now.

I lay the fishes down between us, and grab a few of them.

I prick them on my stick and hold it above the warming fire.

We're roasting the 23 little dead fishes.


	43. Motivation

I bite in my last fish and swallow it. The next time I want to eat, we have to hunt again. I roll my eyes, almost annoyed by the idea of doing this all again, just to eat something.

'I feel like a wanderer, totally lost in the idea of being in the Arena.' I tell Cato, who looks at me confused.

'What the f*ck are you talking about?' He shakes his head.

'I mean, we're just sitting here and eating the fishes, but the games aren't over yet. If one of us wants to win, we still have to fight and kill people.'

I look down, I am sad, but something is burning inside myself stronger than ever. And this time it's not jealousy.

'Yeah, the games aren't over yet? So why are we going to give up? We are not going to give up. We raised to fight, not born to lose. No matter what, one of us will win.' He responds.

'Giving up is not an option.' I fill in his sentence while I stand up. 'We have to kill people.'

'Finally got used to it? The idea of killing people?' Cato smirks. It was never something that bothered him, to end someone's life.

I shrug 'Maybe?'

'Clove it doesn't matter if we kill them, but they're going to die anyways. It doesn't matter if we kill them, or someone of district 11 or 12. Dead is dead, and only one survives.'

I don't answer, I just look at him waiting for the other sentence, what he's saying right now does actually make sense.

'But if **we** kill them, we bring pride to our district. Even if we die later in the games, we have done at least something. We didn't just gave up like the others. We are remembered for what we do right here, in the arena.'

I smile a bit, agreeing with what he just said. 'Yeah, the good die young, but the great will always last.'

I've finally found some motivation to fight for.

* * *

I grab a knife out of my jacket and fold my fingers around it.

'Then let's bring some pride to our district.'

'Alright!' Cato jumps up and grabs his sword.

I strengthen my grip on my knife as we walk away into the woods.

The fire inside of me still burns, brighter than ever before. It isn't jealousy, it is anger.

It's a monster inside of me, and it wants me to fight. And that is exactly what I am going to do right now.

I walk faster, which turns into a slow jogging. Cato follows me, still surprised by the fact that I _want_ to kill people.

I've already killed some people, but I didn't wanted to.

But now I'm just starting to love the colour of blood.

Way further in the forest I see a shimmering of a body, a human body. I'm sure he or she has seen us, because the tribute runs away now.

'Sh*t, where did it go?' I mutter, while I run forward.

'Clove, split up. I'll take the left side, you take the right side, okay?' Cato says.

'Okay.' I run to the right side, though it doesn't feel 'right' to split up again.

I had promised myself that we never should split up again, but now we have more chance of finding that tribute.

I look around me, aware if someone comes to attack me.

You're never save here in the arena, but it's good to know that Cato and I- maybe Thresh too- are the ones to beat here in the arena.

I can beat Peeta and Katniss when they're alone, and Foxface won't attack me.

I only have to watch out for Thresh.

I run on my toes, so my footsteps make less noise.

I ran for an half hour, but couldn't find anyone.

I start walking again. I may be on the 'right' side, as Cato said. But this feels really, really wrong!

I hear the water of the river, so I can be sure that I am close to that river.

_How can I be at the river?_ I think, I was sure I went to the right, not backwards.

'_Cato… where is Cato? I have to find him.'_ My breath stocks in my throat.

'_So if I ran_ _backwards, I have to go ehm.. sh*t I was never good in things like this. Okay focus Clove, if you can't find Cato probably someone else will find you, and you can die then.' _The voice in my head says.

I agree with it, but my legs are too tired to walk now.

I have to keep on moving, it's getting cold and stormy. At least I have to find shelter somewhere.

I walk on, close to the river. The water makes more noise than before and splashes on my legs.

I take a few steps away from the water, and keep walking there. I don't know where this is going to lead me.

The only thing I know now, is that I should go the 'right' way. But this feels nothing but wrong.

I feel lost and wander here, and that is not good in an Arena where are more people, who want to kill me. And I thought that I knew the Arena very well..

There is an cracking voice coming out of somewhere. I look around to see where it comes from.

'Attention tributes. Attention. The regulations acquiring a single victor has been suspended. From now on, two victors may be crowned if both originate from the same district. This will be the only announcement.'

'Two victors, from the same district..' I repeat as my eyes widen. Cato! I have to find him. This is what they call motivation!

_F*ck the shelter, f*ck the bad weather. I have to find him as fast as I can. I have to focus. Why can't I have a compass here in the Arena, that was very useful right now. I don't have one, so I have to do this only with my mind. It's useless and waste of energy to walk through the whole Arena._

I sit down on a rock, to think better.

_When we went fishing, we ate at the smaller part of land, on the other side of the river. I didn't crossed the river, so that means we're still on the same side. We walked through the woods to find a good place to eat. After that eating we wanted to kill people, but we walked the same way as we walked before. I turned to the right side, and now I am at the river. So that means that we walked north, and I went to the east. I walked wrong and 'backwards', and came here at the river. So I have to turn around and walk away from the river as far as I can. _

'_I have to go that way.'_ I point at the forest, which is actually creepy now because of the bad weather.

What if there comes lightning? I should not think about the 'what if's' I just have to find Cato.

I should thank the Capitol for giving me some more motivation to win, but for them it's not to help a single tribute like me.

It's only about a stupid TV show.


	44. Fallen ( The Feast )

I force myself to get up and walk into the woods again. My legs feel heavy, but I have to walk. I can't fly, so I have to move on my feet.

Why can't I be a bird or something? Chasing tributes would be so much easier as a bird, but I'm not sure if a bird can kill someone.

I move forward and walk into the forest, in the opposite direction as before.

_If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl. But do whatever you can to keep moving forward. _

I stumble a few times, but keep walking.

If I just walk the same way as I did when I got here, I'll be on the right way. Too bad that I can't recognize and distinguish a thousand trees.

I force myself to keep walking, but my legs are giving up. Quitting is no use now, I have to move on.

I look around myself and bump into something. It's a tree, I rub over my head and take a step back.

Great, now my head hurts too.

'_Just keep walking and don't stop. That's the thing here, careers never give up.' _The cracking voice in my head says.

Indeed, careers shouldn't give up, but though Glimmer could have fought against the Trackerjackers, guess that she isn't a real career.

Everything becomes blurry in front of my eyes, it's like I walk here almost blindfolded. But I can see light and dark, so that's enough I guess.

I try to look around myself, in case there is someone here, or just another tree who wants to hurt me.

Finally I see a silhouette of a human. I became good in recognizing silhouettes since training here in the capitol.

It's Cato!

I run faster than my legs can hold and fall down. But I get up again and keep running.

It's like a marathon and you're finally at the end, when you see the end it becomes so much easier in your mind to run faster, but your legs are so f*cking tired and can't hold it anymore.

* * *

When I finally reach Cato I immediately hug him.

'Where the f*ck did you go?' He says while he hugs me back.

I step back 'I went the wrong way I guess, I walked backwards to the river.'

'Silly, did you heard the 2 announcements?' He smiles.

'Yeah.. uh.. 2 announcements?'

'Yeah, we can win together, and there's something like a feast.'

'Oh yeah right.. I didn't hear the second one, but hey we can win together!'

'And we are going to win!'

It still takes time to accept that I can win, together with Cato!

'Now the real games are started, fire girl, lover boy and Thresh, Watch your back!' I smirk.

'Are you tired?' He asks me.

'Yeah pretty much, let's sit down somewhere.' I nod.

We walk to an open place and sit down there. There's no one who finds the courage to fight us anyways, at least not while we're together.

'So what about the feast?' I ask him, still not knowing what a 'feast' is.

'Oh yeah, it was something like 'At sunrise, there will be a feast tomorrow at the Cornucopia. This will be no ordinary occasion, each of you need something desperately and we plan to be generous hosts.'' Cato says in a stupid Capitol accent.

'I'm sure that it's all about the love thing from Peeta and Katniss. They've never done this before, and now the first time that there is 'love' in the arena, we can win with 2 people from the same district. And they're going to help us?!' I mumble.

'How do you know all this?'

'I'm smart you know.'

'Don't flatter yourself.' He grins.

'Okay, okay. But I'm quite sure that they didn't do this for us, but for them.'

'Why?'

I sigh 'There are 2 districts with 2 tributes left, district 2 and 12. District 12 has a f*cking love act here, and we don't in the eyes of the capitol people. Who do you think it is for?'

'Yeah right. But they're manipulating us all the time. Now It's time for us to f*ck their plan up.' He finally agrees with me.

'Then let's sleep now, can't wait till the feast tomorrow!' Cato suggests.

'Okay.' I put out my jacket, roll it up and lay it on the ground to use it as a pillow.

I lay down and close my eyes.

Maybe it wasn't that smart to sleep here in an open place, but I won't care about that.

If I'm dead tomorrow then I'm dead, I won't remember anything about it.

I fall into a light sleep, but deep enough to sleep whole night.

* * *

When I open my eyes it's still pretty dark in the arena, which is good, if it already was light then we missed the feast.

'_I am still alive.'_ I think and sit up.

I shake Cato awake. 'Wake up you fool, it's time to kill people.'

He immediately open his eyes. 'Killing people? Where?'

'The feast remember? It's still dark, but it won't be long. We should get on our way to the cornucopia.' I tell him.

'Well okay then.' I grab my jacket off the ground and put it on. 'Let's go.'

* * *

Cato and I walk together towards the cornucopia, and I see a thin flash of light rising up the horizon.

'We should walk faster, the sun has almost risen.' I tell him, and we walk a few steps faster.

'So ehm, do we have a strategy?'

'I don't know, shall we split up, on opposite sides of the cornucopia?' I suggest. 'Then I'll go to the feast first, to get our package. If it doesn't work you always can come help okay?'

'Why are you going first?'

'I'm quicker than you, and if you went there you'd run after someone to kill, admit it. You would do that.'

'Okay, okay.' He smirks.

'Then I'll see you soon.'

'Yep!' I turn around and walk to the opposite direction of him.

'Oh wait Clove.' He says.

'What?' I turn around.

'If you find that fire girl, you can have her. Just make a good show of it.'

'Well okay.'

'And may the odds be ever in your favor!' He says in that stupid capitol accent, again.

I chuckle and turn around again and walk towards a good space to hide.

* * *

I sit down in the bushes and look squinting to the horn of plenty.

There is a table close to it with 4 packages laying on it. One for each district, 2, 5, 11 and 12.

I wait for the right moment to sprint towards the cornucopia. I see that weird girl, Foxface running towards the cornucopia.

Usually people would run towards it after she's gone, but I wait a little longer. The foxy girl grabs her backpack and runs off again.

Then fire girl runs into the open field. This is my chance! I get up quickly and sprint towards the cornucopia too.

The adrenaline is flowing though my body, what reduces the pain of my legs and head.

Katniss ran earlier than me, so she is there quicker.

I see her grabbing her backpack and almost loses her balance.

When she almost runs around the corner of the cornucopia I throw a knife at her head.

Fire girl turns around and shoots an arrow towards my heart.

I duck at time, but I feel the sharp ending of the arrow scraping my skin on my left arm.

I feel the warm blood flowing out of the wound, though it's too bad for her that I'm right handed.

I throw a second knife at her head, which makes a pretty deep cut in her forehead, above her right eyebrow.

The beautiful red flows in a trickle of blood down her face.

She falters backwards and tries to shoot another arrow at me, but she misses.

I run towards her and push her against the ground, what isn't that hard to do, she already lost her balance.

I press her shoulders to the ground with my knees.

* * *

'Where's your boyfriend, district 12? Still hanging on?' I mumble.

'He's hunting Cato right now.' She mutters, sounding really pathetic as she starts to scream. 'Peeta!'

I press my fist to her throat, what actually helps to stop her pathetic screaming.

'Liar. He's nearly dead, Cato knows where he has cut him.' I continue our conversation, which is going to be her last.

'Probably got him strapped up in a tree somewhere, keeping his heart going, right?' I smirk.

Fire girl doesn't answer, she just looks at me angrily.

'And what's in the backpack, district 12? Is that medicine for lover boy? Too bad he'll never get it.'

I zip my jacket open, and grab a curved blade out of my knife vest. 'I promised Cato, I'll could have you, if I gave the audience a good show.'

Probably she had other plans, because she tries to roll and push me off her, but it is no use.

'Forget it, district 12. We're going to kill you, just like we did with your ally, that pathetic little girl, what was her name again? The one who used to hop around in trees, Rue? So first Rue, then you, and we'll let nature take care of lover boy. How does that sound?' I ask her.

'Now, where do we have to start?' I look around her face.

She tries to bite my hand, what the f*ck? I grab her hair and push her back to the ground.

'I think… I think we should start with your mouth.' I torture her by sliding my knife over her lips.

She stares almost confident at me.

'Well, you're not going to have much use for your lips now, district 12. Want to blow lover boy one last kiss?' I mutter.

She spits blood in my face, how did she dare?

'Fine then, here we go.' Just when I press the sharpest end of the knife in her lip, I feel my body pulled off from Katniss.

* * *

When I see that it's Thresh I start screaming.

He throws me on the ground.

There's too much pain to reduce now, but if I die, I'll die fighting!

'What did you do to her? Have you killed her?' He screams at me.

I crawl back 'No! I didn't do it.'

'You said her name, Did you kill her?' He still yells. 'Did you cut her to pieces, like you wanted to do with that girl?'

I didn't kill Rue! Marvel killed Rue!

'NO! No.. I…'

I look to the stone in Thresh' hands. My eyes widen and I start to freak out.

I don't have enough control over my body to think right now.

'CATO!' I scream for help.

* * *

**So my lovely readers, what do you think about it? Please review :) x**


	45. Up on heavens boulevard

'CATO!' I scream one last time.

'CLOVE?' I hear him yelling, but he's too far away to help me.

He should be ready to help, what the hell did he do?

Thresh slams my head with the stone.

I feel a sharp pain, my skull is bruised now.

And then I don't feel anything in my head anymore.

Everything becomes blurry in front of my eyes. I don't feel anything in my body anymore, only when I focus on it I feel a very sharp pain all over my body.

So I don't try to focus on that, just on my breathing.

'Cato!' I try to scream one more time, but no single voice is coming out of my mouth. It's only a not audible scream, knowing that it is no use to try anymore.

My eyes fill with tears, not because of the pain in my body.

But because of the pain that I have to say goodbye to the last person I love.

If I can say goodbye, I'm not even sure about that.

I stare at the clouds, as I'm starting to fade away.

_NO! I can't die! I can't be dead. Fight Clove, fight against it! _

I try to fight against the pain, but every single thing I move, if it's only a finger, hurt's like hell.

I didn't feel this pain before, it's worse, way worse than I thought dying should be. I

feel the blood flowing out of my head, so I close my eyes, count my sins and to take it in.

'CLOVE?' I hear a near voice saying. It echoes through my head.

I turn my head slightly to the left, seeing an silhouette running towards me. The silhouette isn't attacking me, but sits down next to me.

'CLOVE? Do you hear me?' He says, it's hard to hear a voice, and to recognize what it's saying.

'Clove, please stay! Don't go, just stay here with me.' The voice is cracking, like he's crying.

Maybe he is, maybe not, I'll never know.

'Sorry.' I mumble quietly, surprised that there is a little voice coming out of my mouth.

'Clove please, don't fade away.'

'No, it's o..okay, I'll stay w.. with you.' Even my whisper is cracking now. 'Alway..always.'

I stare at the clouds, and then everything turns white.

No pain anymore, it feels so peaceful.

I see the white clouds moving above me, they form the word 'Stay.'

_I don't know what that is supposed to mean now. I don't know anything. I am dead right? How am I able to think right now, while I am dead? Or am I still alive?_

* * *

I see my mom, dad and Alyssa standing here, in a bright white room. There are no walls or edges, just everything is white.

There is no pain or sadness here too. I walk towards them.

'_How can I walk?'_

Just when I try to take a step, everything what was white fades away, and turns into houses.

I recognize these houses immediately. It's the victor village.

'Where.. where are we?' I ask them. They still stand away from me, and I don't get to them.

'The victor village, also known as heavens boulevard.' My dad answers. 'I already told you that you always would be a victor right? You don't have to win this to be a victor. You only survive in that cruel world, but who wants that?'

'Clove, it's hard to say but you were just a piece in their games. Just another kid who died in the games. Just another trained entertainer, or career.' My mom says.

I look down. 'Why can't I walk to you?'

'You are not completely dead yet.' Alyssa tells me.

Then the white, and the victor village fades away.

* * *

And I lay in the Arena again, seeing the same sight when I was dying, the clouds.

But I am not dead yet? I don't understand I'm not dead. I swear I was dead!

I see the hovercraft above me picking up my body.

I try to move my body, but I can't. I see my body flying above me in the grip of the hovercraft.

_But.. but I am still here? Laying on the ground! What the f*ck is my body doing? It's just taken away from me. Was that me? _

I sit up and look at my arms, there is a kind of silhouette, but I can see through them.

I don't understand what I'm doing here, there are like a thousand questions rushing through my head, while I don't have a head or brains anymore.

_So that was only my body? But who am I then? What am I? Only a mind and soul?_

I stand up and look at my feet. Transparent too.

I am sure I am dead, but how can I move myself then? And why am I here again, in the Arena?

Maybe I have to find Cato, again. I take a few steps, what does works now.

I don't feel the pain in my legs, and head anymore.

_How can I be still alive, and not up there, with my parents and Alyssa? I'm like an angel, but not an innocent one. I killed people, I am an angel with a shotgun, and heaven is sending me here. There has to be an reason for this._

Maybe I took that 'I'll stay' a little bit too serious. Now I'm probably lost forever here at earth. I am a lost cause.

* * *

I see Cato, on top of the cornucopia. Fighting with Katniss and Peeta. Underneath the cornucopia are a lot of creepy wolves.

There is something weird about these wolves. They look at me, with their eyes.

That shocked me like hell, these eyes, I recognize them, and their fur! These eyes are the ones of the fallen tributes.

I'm not sure if I should be scared, or thinking that this is really cool.

My sense of fear is running thin. Why should I be afraid of something, i am dead already right?

I feel like I am undercover here, like a candle in the wind, and my fire can be blown away any second, or just never.

But these wolves, or should I say mutants, are like the fallen tributes. Am I a fallen tribute too? I'm not sure, they said that I wasn't completely dead.

Can I be half dead? I was pretty sure that you could die on the inside.

But now while my body is dead, maybe the inside is still alive?

I see Cato holding Peeta in a headlock, while Katniss points an arrow at him, or them?

'Go on, shoot.' Cato tells her. 'Then we both go down, and you win. I'm dead anyways. I always was right?'

What is that supposed to mean? Well I am not dead anyway, I am not dead, well not completely. I'm so confused.

'I didn't know that until now. Isn't that what they want?!' Cato yells, like he wants to be heard.

Heard by the Capitol. That's right Capitol, pay for it! Go Cato! Don't let them win!

Katniss is ready to shoot the arrow.

'No.. I still can do this.' Cato says while he tightens the headlock. 'I still can do this. One more kill, it's the only thing I know how to do. Bring pride to my district. Not that it matters.'

Then the b*tch shoots the arrow in Cato's hand.

'NO!' I scream, or want to scream. But I can't talk, I need a mouth for that and I don't have one anymore.

Cato falls off the cornucopia, to the wolf mutants.

It feels like I'm about to cry, but I can't. I'm not saying that my death was that good, but why does Cato has to die in such a painful way?

It's not fair. Stupid mutts, for f*cks sake leave him.

The wolves, like Thresh, Foxface and the others are eating him alive.

As I am a fallen tribute too, then where's my mutant?

I walk towards Cato, who lays there on the ground, knowing that there is nothing that I can do to help him.

My eye catches a small wolf, with dark fur and a '2' on its collar. That should be my wolf right?

But this little wolf isn't attacking, or trying to eat him. It's trying to protect him, by attacking the other wolves.

It's heart breaking to see this, and not being able to do anything. Even without a body, this hurts me more than the dying itself.

Katniss points an arrow at Cato's head, and shoots. Probably to put him out of his misery, but still it isn't fair.

They're the ones who put him in that misery, poor Cato.

I hear a Cannon echoing through the arena, that sounds familiar.

Cato's body is being picked up by the hovercrafts. This time I am able to see what happened.

They pick up the body, but the soul stays on the ground.

* * *

I run towards Cato, who lays there on the ground.

'Shut up, you're not dead.' I chuckle as I help him up.

'I am not dead? But.. but you were dead?' He sounds as confused as I was.

'Indeed, I was dead. Then my sister told me that I wasn't dead completely, probably not on the inside. Then I came here again, and saw you fighting with them, and the mutts. Terrible ending by the way.'

'Clove what the f*ck are you talking about? You were dead! How the hell am I talking to you?' He stares at me with his eyes wide open.

'Guess you're dead too. And I promised, that I would stay with you right?'

'Yeah..' He nods. It's hard to convince someone that he's dead.

I hug him, and he hugs back. 'I thought that I would never see you again.' He says.

'That was the same what I thought, but hey, here I am!' I respond. 'And now, we are **never** going to split up again.'

Everything turns white again, and then the victors village appears again.

There is a long path to the victor village.

The path has a name, a little board says 'Heavens Boulevard'.

So Cato and I walk hand in hand on the Heavens Boulevard.

'I told you that we were infinite right?' he grins.

'Yeah, and some infinities are bigger than other infinities.' I respond.

Maybe this was the reason why I wasn't dead completely.

There was a part of me still alive. A little piece of the puzzle of my life was still alive, Cato.

So when you're not dead inside, there is a fire burning inside yourself.

That fire is love. That fire makes you not dead completely.

It's something worth fighting for.

_**And that's the story of, that's the glory of love.**_

_**The end**_

* * *

I hope you guys liked it! :) Don't forget to review, i really want to hear your comments.

I'm writing another story 'Battle Scars', If you liked this one, you really should read it.

Thanks for reading ! xx


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